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After The Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

Average rating: 3/5

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After The Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

by Janis A Spring

HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS | February 20, 1997 | Trade Paperback

For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship -- written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity.

When I was 15, I was raped. That was nothing compared to your affair. The rapist was a stranger; you, I thought, were my best friend.

There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self-respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow.

After the Affair is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: Normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership.

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    • Was this review
      helpful to you?

    Rating: 1/5

    this book is absolutely terrible

    rachael scott

    4 years ago

    My ex and i had just begun couples counseling and were recommended this book. My ex bought the book to prepare for our next session. I however researched it on here and decided it was not a book i wanted to read and that all of the reviews i read were very negative. I would like to warn everyone who is contemplating this book. DO not buy it! This book has taken us from a place where i once thought reconciliation possible to a place where my ex now blames me and has stopped trying, has the idea that because of what the book speaks about that he knows what i am going through and has decided how i should be reacting to fix this what i need to do to fix this, how i am not commited enough to fixing it this very moment, so on and son on to the point where he as now become so angry and rude and pushy that there is no saving our realtionship with his new views from this book that he has taken to such heart. This book is a waste of money and will ruin your realtionship even more.

    Comments on this review:
    Lisa Nutley

    I don't think it's fair to blame the book for your ex's behaviour. I can see where you are coming from to a certain extent since the book acknowledges that affairs are rarely one person's fault and that each needs to accept some responsibility. A real jerk could twist that into laying the blame and sounds like that might have been what your ex did. Books don't ruin relationships. People ruin relationships.

    • Was this review
      helpful to you?

    Rating: 1/5

    this book is absolutely terrible

    rachael scott

    4 years ago

    My ex and i had just begun couples counseling and were recommended this book. My ex bought the book to prepare for our next session. I however researched it on here and decided it was not a book i wanted to read and that all of the reviews i read were very negative. I would like to warn everyone who is contemplating this book. DO not buy it! This book has taken us from a place where i once thought reconciliation possible to a place where my ex now blames me and has stopped trying, has the idea that because of what the book speaks about that he knows what i am going through and has decided how i should be reacting to fix this what i need to do to fix this, how i am not commited enough to fixing it this very moment, so on and son on to the point where he as now become so angry and rude and pushy that there is no saving our realtionship with his new views from this book that he has taken to such heart. This book is a waste of money and will ruin your realtionship even more.

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From Our Editors

One of the most devastating of blows to a relationship is that of infidelity. Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D. is a clinical supervisor at Yale University who also specializes in dealing with couples faced with infidelity. After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful helps to answer such questions as: 'Why did the affair happen,' 'Should I recommit when I feel ambivalent,' and 'Is forgiveness possible?' Spring's After the Affair is a compassionate and educated look at a heartbreaking phenomenon.  

From the Publisher

For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship -- written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity.

When I was 15, I was raped. That was nothing compared to your affair. The rapist was a stranger; you, I thought, were my best friend.

There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self-respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow.

After the Affair is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: Normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership.

About the Author

Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. After the Affair has sold more than 325,000 copies. She is also author of How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, The Freedom Not To. Her private practice in Westport, Connecticut, deals largely with couples who are confronting infidelity issues-making her one of the only therapists in the country with this specialty.

Trade Paperback

304 Pages, 5.3 x 7.96 x 0.75 IN

February 20, 1997

HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS


0060928174
9780060928179

From the Critics

“The most comprehensive and balanced book I have ever read on the subject. It is” (Dr. Harville Hendrix)

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