I was especially drawn into the senstivity and humility of the author's voice and the tender way he treated everyone involved (including himself). He laid bare the soul of a man who had the courage to face his mistakes, move beyond and love again..this time with deeper maturity and wisdom. This is a book for any married couple, but especially those who are trying to do it better the second time around.

This book will speak to anyone who is going through their own 'dark year' following a separation or divorce. Everyone has their own particular circumstances, but we all come out of the end of a relationshiop with guilt and questions. In this book there is some bleakness and some humour and sweetness as well.

Philip Lee is to be applauded and thanked for having the courage to publicly reveal such personal details - including his own weaknesses and failings - so frankly and openly. He describes and explores the aftermath of his decision to leave his marriage honestly and recognizes and accepts responsibility for the turmoil and upset he caused his wife and their children. Anyone (or at least, any man) who has made the decision to leave a marriage which was not bringing them happiness and fulfillment will recognize their own feelings and emotions in (and in a sense may be comforted by) Lee's descriptions: the guilt of being the one to make that decision in an effort to find a better life and arrangement; the sadness associated with leaving a situation which once held such hope (and usually was founded on love [or what seemed at the time to be love]); fear of the future and the results of the decision; and so on.

Lee's discussions of what it means to truly love another person, and the changed nature of family and marriage help us to understand in larger terms why so many modern unions do not last "till death" separates the partners. He makes good arguments for moving away from the concept of "failure" which is so frequently associated with the ending of a matrimonial union. Over the years individuals change, and it is simply a fact of modern life that it is now possible to end a marriage and allow the participants to move to a new phase of their lives.

Ultimately, after his "dark year" and its aftermath, Lee found happiness in a new marriage and family situation. And despite his fears for - or more likely, due to his concerns for and his dedication to - his children, they appear to have grown into healthy, well-adjusted young adults of whom he (and his marital partners) can be proud. He gives all of us hope that our own children will recover from the upset which flows from the separation and divorce of their parents.

Anyone who has been married is probably familiar with the various "how to" marriage books suggested by counselors, concerned parents, and others, but a book like Bittersweet - written by the survivor of the end of a marriage who provides such personal insights into his own shortcomings and experiences - carries much more weight than all of the manuals written by the "experts" in the field. This book should go on the "recommended reading" list for persons considering marriage so they will gain understanding as to the reality of modern matrimony, and see and learn from the kinds of mistakes and errors made by a real person living a real and - like the rest of us - a somewhat messy life.

Philip Lee's recounting of his experiences gives hope to the rest of us who are stumbling through the dark, trying to find our way without making an even bigger mess of things.

SEE ALSO SOJOURN...READ IT FIRST THEN THIS.