Sharon Page's book Blood Red is basically 347 pages of sex scenes linked together by a plot that is so non-nonsensical, I stopped paying attention to it.

Althea Yates is a vampire hunter in England circa 1818. For a while now she's been having these strange and highly erotic dreams and she is shocked when, one night at the inn where she and her father are staying, one of the men in her dreams (there's two, naturally) shows up.

He's Yannick. A perfect specimen. But drat, he's a vampire.

His brother, Sebastien (known as Bastien in the novel) is also a vampire. Together they are known as The Demon Twins. And once Althea and her father release Bastien from his tomb, where he's been languishing these last ten years, he and Yannick set about introducing virginal (but up for just about anything) Althea to the delights of the flesh.

Yannick and Bastien aren't like any vampires I've ever encountered. Soulless they may be, but they never kill for food, they can shoot bolts of coloured energy from their hands and they have a reflection. Apparently they have a few other vampire tricks up their sleeves, too.

Reading Blood Red was like eating a bowl of chips- absolutely no redeeming nutritional value, but tasty enough.