Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi has a lifestyle most guidettes dream about.
But can she help it if she was born to love fake tans and
juiceheads? In this must-have guide to being a guidette, America's
favorite pint-sized princess shares her secrets for ROCKING it,
Jersey-style.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to arm yourself
with bronzer, a tease comb, and makeup brushes and join the Snooki
Style Revolution. When guidettes march in, people notice. It's the
attitude. The boldness. The sex appeal. The tan. The serious
shortage of hairspray in the surrounding area. You have to
experiment in life, or you'll be boring. From her top twenty-five
rules for being a guidette, to her smushable makeup and skin
secrets, to her rules on Snookin' for love, Snooki's sickest tips
and advice for friggin' owning it are all here, along with hundreds
of full color photographs and the official Snictionary for easy
reference.
But that's not all. There's a lot more to the diminutive reality
star than what you see on TV. Snooki shares her obsessions (her
bed, Viva Glam Gaga bright pink lipstick, sci-fi movies) and some
juicy behind-the-Shore secrets (which season was her
favorite, what it was like to wake up in a jail cell in season two,
why the house smells like alcohol and dog's butt). For everything
else, you'll just have to read the book!
Being a guidette princess is about being yourself, doing what
you want, and trying to have a good time wherever you are. So strap
yourselves in, bitches! And get ready for the ride.
***
It's the Snooki Style
Revolution, bitches!
"My biggest nightmare is waking up pale. Or without
eyelashes."
"A guidette has to know how to have fun anywhere. Like, if
you're stuck in a cardboard box, you have to rock it."
"LOVE my slippers. It's like wearing beds on your feet."
"If you can smell hair gel from a mile away, it signals guido
mating season."
"I like to wear so many accessories that people are
confused."
"Guidettes are born with attitude. It doesn't matter if you're
tall, skinny, round, or a Smurf, or what your background is, we put
on our bronzer and we fricken rock our princess status. Like, get
out of our way, we don't care what you think. Unless you're a
mirror."
