Incontinent on the Continent: My Mother, Her Walker, and Our Grand Tour of Italy

by Jane Christmas

GREYSTONE BOOKS LTD | August 24, 2009 | Trade Paperback

Based on 26 ratings | Rate this
"

Since the beginning of time, mothers and daughters have had notoriously fraught relationships. ""Show me a mother who says she has a good or great relationship with her daughter,"" Jane Christmas writes, ""and I''ll show you a daughter who is in therapy trying to understand how it all went so horribly wrong.""

To smooth over five decades of constant clashing, Christmas takes her arthritic, incontinent, and domineering mother, Valeria - a cross between Queen Victoria and Hyacinth Bucket of the British comedy Keeping Up Appearances - on a tour of Italy.

Neither has been to Italy before, but both are fans of ancient art, architecture, and history. Will gazing at the fruits of the Italian Renaissance be enough to spark a renaissance in their relationship? As they wander along the winding Amalfi Coast, traverse St. Peter''s Square in Rome, and sample the wines of Tuscany - walkers, biscuits, shawls, and medications in tow - they revisit the bickering and bitterness of years past and reassess who they are and how they might reconcile their differences.

Unflinching and frequently hilarious, this book will speak to all women who have tried to make friends with their mothers.

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Found in: Travel

All reviews of Incontinent on the Continent: My Mother, Her Walker, and Our Grand Tour of Italy

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    A great read.
    by André Bineau
    2 years ago

    My wife and I went to Italy in the Fall of 2010. "Incontinent on the Continent" takes us back to to our own 16 days vacation. The writing is wonderful, the descriptions are right on and it is easy to relate to many of the stories told by author Jane Christmas. A great read.

  • Sharon-Rose McNeil

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    A Must Read for All who are adventerous
    by Sharon-Rose McNeil
    3 years ago

    I stumbled across this book. My Aunt and I read it together and laughed so hard tears ran down our cheeks. This is a great read for women of all ages who who love and yearn for adventure in their lives. It is both funny and very heartwearming. I look forward to Jane Christmas's next book. A fantastic read !

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    YOU CAN'T PUT THIS BOOK DOWN!!
    by Katherine Hodgson
    3 years ago

    This book is a wonderful story of Jane and her Mother. If you are a caregiver, you must read this book. You can just imagine yourself in these situations and reflect on the ones you have already experienced in your own life. I can't wait to read all of Jane's books!! Thank you Jane for a wonderful story, told so well!!

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    Disappointed
    by Natalie Hale
    3 years ago

    When I read on the back that it was a great book for "anyone who had tried to make friends with their mother" I thought that it was going to be a good read that everyone could relate to. It was slow at first, actually it was always slow, and the author never set up much of a background as to why her relationship was rocky with her mother to begin with. Throughout their travels the author was very selfish as not noticing her mothers needs or ailing health. There was no climax and she there was hardly an attempt to mend their relationship. Even when they had come back home after the trip they still hadnt become better friends. BOO

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    Loved all her books
    by Joanne Chapman-Beauvais
    3 years ago

    I hope this author keeps traveling and writing, I enjoy her books so much. They are so human and combine all things I am interested in....travel, family dynamics, a hint of romance, food and history all in one book. There were many late nights for me as I tried to finish this book and could not stop reading. Then I had to read her previous books and spent another week not sleeping.

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    Been there, done that, loved it!
    by Adrian Horsfield
    3 years ago

    I thought Jane's third book was a great read. I have travelled with an aging and sometimes challenging parent to various foreign destinations, and can sympathize with Jane's position. Her tale was told with honesty and candour and I could almost taste her frustration with being in a beautiful place but focussed on trying to find a suitable hotel/restaurant/washroom. Her ability to write the story with wit, sensitivity and huge lashings of humour made this one of the best travellogues since Peter Mayle's sagas of France. Jane's descriptions of the places visited in Italy are also spot on. I have spent time in most of the destinations she describes and find that her observations are very accurate - even reminding me what I REALLY thought of Florence, Rome and Venice. Thank you Jane. I am currently finishing the Psychic - Pilgrim book before moving on (back?) to the Pelee Project, and hope there will be more to come.

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    wonderful and insightful
    by Diane Mattiazzi
    3 years ago

    I picked up this book looking for possible pointers on travelling to Europe with my own mother and her walker. I could not put the book down, I could relate so easily to the author's situation and frustration and underlying love for her mother despite a somewhat difficult relationship. By the time I had finished this book, I had to run out to get the author's previous book, "What the Psychic Told the Pilgrim". Thoroughly pleasant read.

  • Was this review helpful?
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    Funny and Poignant
    by Angela Higgins
    3 years ago

    Jane captures a very real part of aging - from both the parent and child's perspective. And she does it in a way that often sees the humour in the situation. She is also brutally honest about her thoughts and feels of her aging mother - it is refreshing that she is not always politically correct about it and can still admit to them. In addition, Jane's descriptions of her trip through Italy are excellent (and helpful). I really enjoyed reading this book, rarely putting it down.

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    2
    Appallingly selfish
    by Bonnie Webster
    3 years ago

    The author's observations as a traveler through Italy were interesting enough, albeit more of a "where and when not to go" instructional guide. Come to think of it, she made Italy sound god-awful for the most part, some of which may be very good information to tuck away. But what really put me off about the book was her complete self-absorption. If this is humour, well, it sure is appallingly selfish and cruel. Poor Jane, boo-hoo! The reader endures 293 pages of her rage, loathing, resentment, and self-pity; apparently, she has had to live to her 50's feeling as though she has never been the center of her mother's universe. (Otherwise, her upbringing did not seem to be especially or unusually difficult or deprived.) Thankfully, with 19 pages to go, she crosses the threshold of maturity while gazing at a marble statue (which at this point, is far more interesting to the reader than Jane), and destroys her list of carefully nurtured grievances. It was never stated exactly how old her suffering mother was, but to take someone in such a state of ill health and disability on a long, poorly planned journey was just unbelievable. Jane was so busy wallowing in her bitterness that she never once showed an iota of compassion toward her mother until the end of the story when they'd returned to their old routines at home. It was shocking to see the number of times and places where Jane trotted off to indulge her unhappiness, leaving her mother in possibly dangerous or difficult situations. Given that arthritis is a genetic curse - and that nobody escapes aging - I truly hope that someday, Jane Christmas knows what it's like to walk with a walker! May she be spared such a witch of a daughter when the time comes.

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    Do we all go through this with our mothers?
    by Paulah Dauns
    3 years ago

    When I picked up this book I thought I might not be able to relate to the writer's experience. I of course would never travel with my incontinent, walker strapped mother. But ten pages into the book I could not put it down. The real story here is not the trip to Italy, though that part of the book is useful, instructive and will assist on my next trip. No, it is of course the underlying sniping between mother and daughter that is all too familiar and is the esence of the book. You must read this if you are thinking about repairing a broken mother-daughter relationship. Christmas does not cop out with an easy determination of her issues with mom. A must read!

    Comments on this review:
    Colleen MacDonald

    I think I read the same book as Paulah, but I experienced it totally differently. The only reason Jane Christmas appears to have dragged her mother to Italy is so that she can moan and sigh about her being disabled, and comment on what a burden she is, and also have her mother cornered so she (jane) can bring up all the grievances of her childhood. She continually moans about what she isn't able to see since her mother is disabled. Well, yes you knew that when you arranged the trip with her. She wants to vent to her mother about her dysfunctional childhood, but then is aghast when her mother has opinions about Jane. I think she should have gone to Italy with someone else, or treated her mother to a nice weekend without the psychotherapy.

  • Was this review helpful?
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    A great read!
    by Susan Algar
    4 years ago

    I loved this book. It is written with both insight and humour and is rich in descriptive detail - about the Italian countryside and the dynamics of a sometimes difficult mother-daughter relationship. Jane Christmas has long been one of my favourite authors. I enjoyed both "The Pelee Project" and "What The Psychic Told The Pilgrim" and was definately not disappointed by her newest book. It's a great read and I highly recommend it.

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    Travel adventures with your mother!
    by Paul Maranger
    4 years ago

    While exploring Italy with her elderly mother, the author also explores her murky mother-daughter relationship in the hopes of finding resolution. The book was very funny in parts, and very poignant in others. If you're thinking of reconciling with a parent this might get your started.

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