1. Rona Maynard has said that she became her own woman "in spite
of and because of" her mother, Fredelle Maynard. What does this
statement mean to you? Does it shed any light on your own
relationship with your mother, or your daughter?
2. Rona says in the prologue, "The story of my life has been, in
large part, a story about learning to tell the truth as I see it."
She also says she could never have shared her dream with her mother
if Fredelle had been well. Why was speaking up such a challenge for
Rona? Do women find it harder than men to tell their truth?
3. Rona writes unsparingly about her father's alcoholism, her
mother's anger and her own suicidal thoughts during a bout of
depression. In your opinion, is this Too Much Information or a
courageous act of honesty? Is it possible to honour one's parents
and still tell hard truths about them?
4. Rona grew up feeling less loveable than her perkier sister,
"the Adorable One." How did this sense of difference shape her
later life? Was Rona's position in the family more fortunate than
she knew?
5. On both sides of her family, Rona's grandparents were
immigrants. Her Canadian parents had to fill out "alien
registration" cards in the U.S. How does the theme of exile help to
drive the story?
6. In a pivotal scene, Rona is molested in a crowded subway car
while heading home from her Radcliffe interview. She tells her
mother that she blew the interview, but not that she was groped by
a stranger. Why do you think she kept the secret?
7. After Rona is dragged up the stairs by her drunken father,
she vows to avenge herself. She eventually succeeds by driving her
father out of the house. How does revenge affect her life?
8. As a young woman Rona rejected writing as a career path. She
says, "I wanted to grind [writing] under my shoe, to tear it into
pieces and burn it, to stuff writing into a sack full of stones and
cast it into the ocean." Why did she feel so strongly? Now she has
written My Mother's Daughter. What did she have to learn
about herself in order to reach this point?
9. Rona is frank about being a distracted, overburdened mother
while raising her son and holding a demanding job. Fredelle was
sharply critical of Rona as a mother. How would you describe
Fredelle's own mothering? Why did mothering provoke the most
painful moments between the two? What does this suggest about the
standard that mothers are expected to meet?
10. Rona was able to achieve what her mother had been denied-a
high-profile job that became the focus for her greatest gifts.
Along the way, she had to fight to be taken seriously and to be
paid what she was worth. Was the journey worth the struggle? Do you
think it is possible for women to "have it all?"
11. Fredelle sent a flowery tribute to her mother every year for
Mother's Day. Rona made a point of ignoring Mother's Day-until she
sensed that she would soon lose her mother, and hand-delivered a
letter full of gratitude and love. Do the rituals surrounding
motherhood help or hinder the full expression of love between
mothers and daughters? Is it time to create some new rituals?
12. Toward the end of her memoir, Rona reaches a hard-won
understanding of her father's struggle with alcoholism and finds it
in her heart to forgive him. Could she have called this book My
Father's Daughter? Do she and her father have more in common
than she knew as a child?
13. Rona describes the death of a woman's mother as a
life-changing transition. Her memoir includes two deathbed scenes
between a mother and a daughter. Rona's farewell to her mother is
very different from Fredelle's to her own mother. What do these
moments reveal about the characters?
14. At the end of My Mother's Daughter, Rona gets rid
of her grandmother's mink coat. What does the coat represent in the
life of her family? What do you think of the ending? What does it
suggest about Rona's future life?