By complete coincidence, I was listening to Sarah McLachlan's new
CD "The Laws of Illusion," at the same time I was reading Julie
Metz's book Perfection.
McLachlan's CD is a collection of songs that navigate the raw
emotion of loss, yearning, anger and pain followed by self
discovery, love, strength and renewal.
It was the perfect soundtrack for Metz's memoir, which chronicles
the untimely death of her husband and discovery that he deceived
her.
The book begins with the death of Henry, a moody, self-serving and
difficult writer, who leaves behind his wife Julie, a graphic
designer, and young daughter Liza. They had had the perfect life -
creative careers, a home in a small community outside of New York
City, a circle of friends and memorable dinner parties. Metz
explores her grief over many pages with brutal honesty - her
inability to understand, inability to care for herself and her
reliance on family to take care of their affairs. She is aware that
her friends are keeping secrets, but as a recent widow, she can't
give effort to see what those are.
Metz reflects often on her marriage to Henry - their romantic
meeting, marriage and honeymoon to rural Africa, the birth of their
child and building their home. These memories give realizations of
how his incredible his needs were and how he lacked consideration
for hers. She realizes the sacrifices of meeting her needs to
support Henry. A solid family and home was worth it in the end.
After a soul reviving trip, she is ready to face the secrecy behind
her husband's life. She confronts Henry's good friend, who is now
her lover. He tells her of an affair with Cathy, a close family
friend.
Metz reacts with rage. She is honest in how she handles her anger
and approaches Cathy, her husband, their friends and their
children. She will no longer deny herself answers that she had long
since ignored for the sake of their marriage.
With maniacal effort she digs through Henry's archives to find
evidence of several lovers who Henry courted over their marriage.
Half of the book plays out as she encounters these women, how she
faces the realities, how she learns about herself and her marriage,
and more importantly, how she learns about her husband and the man
he was trying to be.
At the same time, she finds strength to regain her footing in the
their community, find forgiveness, seeks love and passion, and
rebuilds her image of the perfect life.
When I picked up Perfection, I anticipated a juicy account of
betrayal with the typical happy ending. Instead I found a gripping
emotional tale so raw that I came to feel the emotions of the
writer myself.
In truth, by the end of the book, there are many loose ends in
Metz's story. Many may interpret this as bad writing. But this is
not a work of fiction. It is the story of a woman who, after
loosing a seemingly perfect foundation of marriage, home and
family, must acknowledge that her life is a work in progress and
she will always have to strive for perfection.