I read a description of this book and thought it was an interesting premise. Like many other readers here, though, I found the author self-absorbed and a bit of a harsh critic, especially towards people she thought were her friends. I realize that it might be shell-shocking to find out your spouse was living a lie but this story doesn't seem to get to the "renewal" part that is mentioned in the subtitle. I've read another book recently which was a similar "woe is me" tale and it was a bit exhausting.

By complete coincidence, I was listening to Sarah McLachlan's new CD "The Laws of Illusion," at the same time I was reading Julie Metz's book Perfection.

McLachlan's CD is a collection of songs that navigate the raw emotion of loss, yearning, anger and pain followed by self discovery, love, strength and renewal.

It was the perfect soundtrack for Metz's memoir, which chronicles the untimely death of her husband and discovery that he deceived her.

The book begins with the death of Henry, a moody, self-serving and difficult writer, who leaves behind his wife Julie, a graphic designer, and young daughter Liza. They had had the perfect life - creative careers, a home in a small community outside of New York City, a circle of friends and memorable dinner parties. Metz explores her grief over many pages with brutal honesty - her inability to understand, inability to care for herself and her reliance on family to take care of their affairs. She is aware that her friends are keeping secrets, but as a recent widow, she can't give effort to see what those are.

Metz reflects often on her marriage to Henry - their romantic meeting, marriage and honeymoon to rural Africa, the birth of their child and building their home. These memories give realizations of how his incredible his needs were and how he lacked consideration for hers. She realizes the sacrifices of meeting her needs to support Henry. A solid family and home was worth it in the end.

After a soul reviving trip, she is ready to face the secrecy behind her husband's life. She confronts Henry's good friend, who is now her lover. He tells her of an affair with Cathy, a close family friend.

Metz reacts with rage. She is honest in how she handles her anger and approaches Cathy, her husband, their friends and their children. She will no longer deny herself answers that she had long since ignored for the sake of their marriage.

With maniacal effort she digs through Henry's archives to find evidence of several lovers who Henry courted over their marriage. Half of the book plays out as she encounters these women, how she faces the realities, how she learns about herself and her marriage, and more importantly, how she learns about her husband and the man he was trying to be.

At the same time, she finds strength to regain her footing in the their community, find forgiveness, seeks love and passion, and rebuilds her image of the perfect life.

When I picked up Perfection, I anticipated a juicy account of betrayal with the typical happy ending. Instead I found a gripping emotional tale so raw that I came to feel the emotions of the writer myself.

In truth, by the end of the book, there are many loose ends in Metz's story. Many may interpret this as bad writing. But this is not a work of fiction. It is the story of a woman who, after loosing a seemingly perfect foundation of marriage, home and family, must acknowledge that her life is a work in progress and she will always have to strive for perfection.

I was drawn to this book first by it's beautiful cover and then by it's storyline...a woman finding out about her husband's infidelity after his early death. I gave up on this book a little more than halfway through because I just don't understand how a story so rife with drama could be so painfully boring?

The weirdest part of the story for me was when Julie detailed how shortly after her husband's death she kept feeling his presence hovering over her. She decided this meant that he was looking to resume his living with her but lacked a body. As a result, Julie then asked her husband's best friend (someone 16 years younger) to have an ongoing affair with her so that her poor dead husband Henry could finally have a body to work through. I admittedly wanted to put the book down after this but ventured on because the "betrayal and renewal" aspect of the book intrigued me. Henry's infidelity and Julie's discovery of it was interesting but finding out that her path to self renewal involved sleeping with men she really didn't like disappointed me.

I felt this book did not live up to the hype it generated as a result of both being featured on Oprah and becoming a "Heather's Pick". Coincidentally Metz acknowledges Elizabeth Gilbert in her book whom I also found to be a self-indulgent author. Gilbert's 'Eat Pray Love' was a disappointment for me too but for those who did love it...well maybe you"ll enjoy 'Perfection' too.

Not bad, not great.. but rather incredibly sad series of events.