1. In your opinion, is Lily, who is the narrator, the heroine or
the villain? What are her flaws and her strengths?
2. Do you think the concept of "old sames" exists today? Do you
have an "old same," or are you part of a sworn sisterhood? In what
ways are those relationships similar or different from the ones in
nineteenth-century China?
3. Some men in nineteenth-century China apparently knew about
nu shu, the secret women's writing described in Snow
Flower. Why do you think they tolerated such private
communication?
4. Lily writes her story so that Snow Flower can read it in the
afterworld. Do you think she tells her story in a convincing way so
that Snow Flower can forgive and understand? Do you think Snow
Flower would have told the story differently?
5. When Lily and Snow Flower are girls, they have one
intimate-almost erotic-moment together Do you think their
relationship was sexual or, given the times, were they simply girls
who saw this only as an innocent extension of their friendship?
6. Having a wife with bound feet was a status symbol for men,
and, consequently, having bound feet increased a woman's chances of
marriage into a wealthier household. Women took great pride in
their feet, which were considered not only beautiful but also their
best and most important feature. As a child, would you have fought
against having your feet bound, as Third Sister did, knowing you
would be consigned to the life of a servant or a "little
daughter-in-law"? As a mother, would you have chosen to bind your
daughter's feet?
7. The Chinese character for "mother love" consists of two
parts: one meaning "pain," the other meaning "love." In your own
experience, from the perspective of a mother or a daughter, is
there an element of truth to this description of mother love?
8. The author sees Snow Flower and the Secret Fan as a
novel about love and regret, but do you think there's also an
element of atonement in it as well?
9. In the story, we are told again and again that women are weak
and worthless. But were they really? In what ways did Lily and Snow
Flower show their strength and value?
10. Although the story takes place in the nineteenth century and
seems very far removed from our lives-we don't have our feet bound,
we're free and mobile-do you think we're still bound up in other
ways; for instance, by career, family obligations, conventions of
feminine beauty, or events beyond our control such as war, the
economy, and natural disasters?
11. Because of its phonetic nature, nu shu could easily
be taken out of context and be misunderstood. Today, many of us
communicate though e-mail or instant-messaging. Have you ever had
an experience where one of your messages has been misunderstood
because of lack of context, facial or body gestures, and tone of
voice? Or have you ever been on the receiving end of a message that
you misinterpreted and your feelings were hurt?
12. Madame Wang, the matchmaker, is a foot-bound woman and yet
she does business with men. How is she different from the other
women in the story? Do you think she is considered a woman of
status or is she merely a necessary evil?