1. In your opinion, is Lily, who is the narrator, the heroine or
the villain? What are her flaws and her strengths?
2. Do you think the concept of "old sames" exists today? Do you
have an "old same," or are you part of a sworn sisterhood? In
what ways are those relationships similar or different from
the ones in nineteenthcentury China?
3. Some men in nineteenth-century China apparently knew about
nu shu, the secret women's writing described in
Snow Flower. Why do you think they tolerated such
private communication?
4. Lily writes her story so that Snow Flower can read it in the
afterworld. Do you think she tells her story in a convincing
way so that Snow Flower can forgive and understand? Do you
think Snow Flower would have told the story
differently?
5. When Lily and Snow Flower are girls, they have one
intimate- almost erotic-moment together. Do you think their
relationship was sexual or, given the times, were they simply
girls who saw this only as an innocent extension of their
friendship?
6. Having a wife with bound feet was a status symbol for men,
and, consequently, having bound feet increased a woman's
chances of marriage into a wealthier household. Women took
great pride in their feet, which were considered not only
beautiful but also their best and most important feature. As a
child, would you have fought against having your feet bound,
as Third Sister did, knowing you would be consigned to the
life of a servant or a "little daughter-inlaw"? As a mother,
would you have chosen to bind your daughter's feet?
7. The Chinese character for "mother love" consists of two
parts: one meaning "pain," the other meaning "love." In your
own experience, from the perspective of a mother or a
daughter, is there an element of truth to this description of
mother love?
8. The author sees Snow Flower and the Secret Fan as a
novel about love and regret, but do you think there's also an
element of atonement in it as well?
9. In the story, we are told again and again that women are weak
and worthless. But were they really? In what ways did Lily and
Snow Flower show their strength and value?
10. The story takes place in the nineteenth century and seems
very far removed from our lives-for instance, we don't have
our feet bound, and we're free and mobile. Do you think we're
still bound up in other ways: by career, by family
obligations, by conventions of feminine beauty, or even by
events beyond our control (war, the economy, and natural
disasters)?
11. Because of its phonetic nature, nu shu could easily
be taken out of context and be misunderstood. Today, many of
us communicate though e-mail or instant-messaging. Have you
ever had an experience where one of your messages was
misunderstood because of lack of context, facial or body
gestures, and tone of voice? Or have you ever received a
message that you misinterpreted and had your
feelings hurt?
12. Madame Wang, the matchmaker, is a foot-bound woman and yet
she does business with men. How is she different from the
other women in the story? Do you think she is considered a
woman of status or is she merely a necessary evil?