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Social Intelligence: The New Science Of Human Relationships

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Social Intelligence: The New Science Of Human Relationships

by Daniel Goleman

Random House Publishing Group | July 31, 2007 | Trade Paperback

Emotional Intelligence was an international phenomenon, appearing on the New York Times bestseller list for over a year and selling more than five million copies worldwide. Now, once again, Daniel Goleman has written a groundbreaking synthesis of the latest findings in biology and brain science, revealing that we are "wired to connect" and the surprisingly deep impact of our relationships on every aspect of our lives.

Far more than we are consciously aware, our daily encounters with parents, spouses, bosses, and even strangers shape our brains and affect cells throughout our bodies-down to the level of our genes-for good or ill. In Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explores an emerging new science with startling implications for our interpersonal world. Its most fundamental discovery: we are designed for sociability, constantly engaged in a "neural ballet" that connects us brain to brain with those around us.

Our reactions to others, and theirs to us, have a far-reaching biological impact, sending out cascades of hormones that regulate everything from our hearts to our immune systems, making good relationships act like vitamins-and bad relationships like poisons. We can "catch" other people's emotions the way we catch a cold, and the consequences of isolation or relentless social stress can be life-shortening. Goleman explains the surprising accuracy of first impressions, the basis of charisma and emotional power, the complexity of sexual attraction, and how we detect lies. He describes the "dark side" of social intelligence, from narcissism to Machiavellianism and psychopathy. He also reveals our astonishing capacity for "mindsight," as well as the tragedy of those, like autistic children, whose mindsight is impaired.

Is there a way to raise our children to be happy? What is the basis of a nourishing marriage? How can business leaders and teachers inspire the best in those they lead and teach? How can groups divided by prejudice and hatred come to live together in peace?

The answers to these questions may not be as elusive as we once thought. And Goleman delivers his most heartening news with powerful conviction: we humans have a built-in bias toward empathy, cooperation, and altruism-provided we develop the social intelligence to nurture these capacities in ourselves and others.

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From the Publisher

Emotional Intelligence was an international phenomenon, appearing on the New York Times bestseller list for over a year and selling more than five million copies worldwide. Now, once again, Daniel Goleman has written a groundbreaking synthesis of the latest findings in biology and brain science, revealing that we are "wired to connect" and the surprisingly deep impact of our relationships on every aspect of our lives.

Far more than we are consciously aware, our daily encounters with parents, spouses, bosses, and even strangers shape our brains and affect cells throughout our bodies-down to the level of our genes-for good or ill. In Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explores an emerging new science with startling implications for our interpersonal world. Its most fundamental discovery: we are designed for sociability, constantly engaged in a "neural ballet" that connects us brain to brain with those around us.

Our reactions to others, and theirs to us, have a far-reaching biological impact, sending out cascades of hormones that regulate everything from our hearts to our immune systems, making good relationships act like vitamins-and bad relationships like poisons. We can "catch" other people's emotions the way we catch a cold, and the consequences of isolation or relentless social stress can be life-shortening. Goleman explains the surprising accuracy of first impressions, the basis of charisma and emotional power, the complexity of sexual attraction, and how we detect lies. He describes the "dark side" of social intelligence, from narcissism to Machiavellianism and psychopathy. He also reveals our astonishing capacity for "mindsight," as well as the tragedy of those, like autistic children, whose mindsight is impaired.

Is there a way to raise our children to be happy? What is the basis of a nourishing marriage? How can business leaders and teachers inspire the best in those they lead and teach? How can groups divided by prejudice and hatred come to live together in peace?

The answers to these questions may not be as elusive as we once thought. And Goleman delivers his most heartening news with powerful conviction: we humans have a built-in bias toward empathy, cooperation, and altruism-provided we develop the social intelligence to nurture these capacities in ourselves and others.

About the Author

Daniel Goleman, PH.D. is also the author of the worldwide bestseller Working with Emotional Intelligence and is co-author of Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence, written with Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee.

Dr. Goleman received his Ph.D. from Harvard and reported on the brain and behavioral sciences for The New York Times for twelve years, where he was twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. He was awarded the American Psychological Association''s Lifetime Achievement Award and is currently a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science His other books include Destructive Emotions, The Meditative Mind, The Creative Spirit, and Vital Lies, Simple Truths.

Bookclub Guide

Daniel Goleman, PH.D. is also the author of the worldwide bestseller Working with Emotional Intelligence and is co-author of Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence, written with Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee.

Dr. Goleman received his Ph.D. from Harvard and reported on the brain and behavioral sciences for The New York Times for twelve years, where he was twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. He was awarded the American Psychological Association''s Lifetime Achievement Award and is currently a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science His other books include Destructive Emotions, The Meditative Mind, The Creative Spirit, and Vital Lies, Simple Truths.

1. The book's most fundamental revelation, that human beings are neurologically inclined to be sociable, illustrates the potential for compassion and collaboration in a variety of circumstances. Is technology at odds with this concept? Does American society foster isolation more than sociability?

2. What are the implications of Goleman's observations regarding immune systems and relationships? Which of your relationships have most enhanced your physical and emotional health? Have you been in a relationship that undermined your health? What does the science of "mirror neurons" teach us about our personal interactions in general?

3. What aspects of the chapter titled "The Set Point for Happiness" surprised you the most? Did it change your concept of ideal strategies for raising children? What messages from your parents influenced your own "set point'? What contemporary approaches to child-rearing may actually undermine a young person's future happiness?

4. What is the best way to apply Social Intelligence to the realm of love and sex? Do our impulses enhance or inhibit the potential for happy relationships in the modern world?

5. Have you had encounters with those whose social intelligence is skewed in a destructive direction? How can our approach to such segments of society, including narcissists and violent sociopaths, improve with greater knowledge of the dance between environment, hormones, genetics, and neurology? How can this knowledge enhance our ability to detect lies and delusion?

6. Goleman describes cases of "mindblindness," associated with a range of diagnoses, including autism. To what degree is the ability to read other people's emotions essential? Is "mindsight" more crucial or less crucial to success than it was in previous generations?

7. What is the role of etiquette and social custom in reducing "I-It" interactions? Are traditional guidelines for manners stifling or healthy?

8. Goleman eloquently describes the role of teachers in modeling and nurturing the potential of social intelligence. Where were the greatest harms enacted in previous systems of American education? Where are the best solutions currently flourishing?

9. Social Intelligence opens with an example of a potentially devastating military situation that was diffused with smiles and non-aggressive body language. What are the broader implications of the book's findings for conflict resolution around the world? What cultural stigmas and animosities can be dismantled through social intelligence?

10. To what extent can business leaders begin to quantify happiness with the verve they apply to economic success? What would it take for the West to embrace the concept of a "gross national happiness" emphasized in the Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan?

11. The sweet spot for achievement clearly calls for reducing anxiety and stress. What personal prescription can you devise to implement this? What opportunities for better interpersonal connections exist in your life?

12. Daniel Goleman frequently refers to "high road" mental functions (those that tend to be more closely related to conscious decision making) versus automatic "low-road" reactions. Do you tend to operate primarily from a high- or low-road perspective?

13. How does the field of epigenetics (proposing that environmental factors can change the ways genes operate, without altering the DNA sequence) compare to previous ideas about the power of genetics? How does this approach change your perception of the role genes play in shaping our behavior, and vice versa? What are the implications of this approach for the nature-versus-nurture debate?

14. Do Goleman's observations make you feel optimistic about society? What do you predict for future populations raised with knowledge about social intelligence?

15. In what ways are the principles of social intelligence distinct from those of emotional intelligence, explored in Goleman's previous work? In what way is emotional intelligence, with an emphasis on self-awareness and self-management, the essential foundation for the outwardly focused concepts of social intelligence?

Trade Paperback

416 Pages, 5.38 x 8.2 x 0.86 in

July 31, 2007

Random House Publishing Group

English


055338449X
9780553384499

From the Critics

"Passionately argued … lucid."-Publishers Weekly


From the Hardcover edition.

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