Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That: A Modern Guide to Manners

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Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That: A Modern Guide to Manners

by Henry Alford

Grand Central Publishing | January 3, 2012 | Hardcover |

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"We all know bad manners when we see them," NPR and Vanity Fair contributor Henry Alford observes at the beginning of his new book. But what, he asks, do good manners look like in our day and age? When someone answers their cell phone in the middle of dining with you, or runs you off the sidewalk with their doublewide stroller, or you enter a post-apocalyptic public restroom, the long-revered wisdom of Emily Post can seem downright prehistoric.

Troubled by the absence of good manners in his day-to-day life-by the people who clip their toenails on the subway or give three-letter replies to one''s laboriously crafted missives-Alford embarks on a journey to find out how things might look if people were on their best behavior a tad more often. He travels to Japan (the "Fort Knox Reserve" of good manners) to observe its culture of collective politesse. He interviews etiquette experts both likely (Judith Martin, Tim Gunn) and unlikely (a former prisoner, an army sergeant). He plays a game called Touch the Waiter. And he volunteers himself as a tour guide to foreigners visiting New York City in order to do ground-level reconnaissance on cultural manners divides. Along the way (in typical Alford style) he also finds time to teach Miss Manners how to steal a cab; designates the World''s Most Annoying Bride; and tosses his own hat into the ring, volunteering as an online etiquette coach.

Ultimately, by tackling the etiquette questions specific to our age-such as Why shouldn''t you ask a cab driver where''s he''s from?, Why is posting baby pictures on Facebook a fraught activity? and What''s the problem with "No problem"?-Alford finds a wry and warm way into a subject that has sometimes been seen as pedantic or elitist. And in this way, he looks past the standard "dos" and "don''ts" of good form to present an illuminating, seriously entertaining book about grace and civility, and how we can simply treat each other better.

Format: Hardcover

Dimensions: 256 Pages, 5.91 × 8.66 × 0.79 in

Published: January 3, 2012

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing

Language: English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10: 0446557668

ISBN - 13: 9780446557665

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– More About This Product –

Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That: A Modern Guide to Manners

by Henry Alford

Format: Hardcover

Dimensions: 256 Pages, 5.91 × 8.66 × 0.79 in

Published: January 3, 2012

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing

Language: English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10: 0446557668

ISBN - 13: 9780446557665

About the Book

A few years ago, humorist and journalist Henry Alford found himself "reverse-apologizing": offering apologies for other people, on their behalf, when they failed to do so themselves. Ever since, he's realized he needed to take a closer look at manners-his own, and others'.
In WOULD IT KILL YOU TO STOP DOING THAT"?" he interviews experts both likely (Miss Manners, Tim Gunn) and unlikely (a former prisoner, an army sergeant). He volunteers himself as a tour guide for foreigners visiting New York City, and as an online etiquette coach for his friends. He travels to Japan. He teaches Miss Manners how to steal a cab. He designates the World's Most Annoying Bride.
Providing answers to questions like, "Why shouldn't you ask a cabdriver where's he's from?," and "Why is posting baby pictures on Facebook a fraught activity?," this hilarious and non-elitist book looks past the standard "dos" and "don't's" of good form, in search of ways we can treat each other better.

From the Publisher

"We all know bad manners when we see them," NPR and Vanity Fair contributor Henry Alford observes at the beginning of his new book. But what, he asks, do good manners look like in our day and age? When someone answers their cell phone in the middle of dining with you, or runs you off the sidewalk with their doublewide stroller, or you enter a post-apocalyptic public restroom, the long-revered wisdom of Emily Post can seem downright prehistoric.

Troubled by the absence of good manners in his day-to-day life-by the people who clip their toenails on the subway or give three-letter replies to one''s laboriously crafted missives-Alford embarks on a journey to find out how things might look if people were on their best behavior a tad more often. He travels to Japan (the "Fort Knox Reserve" of good manners) to observe its culture of collective politesse. He interviews etiquette experts both likely (Judith Martin, Tim Gunn) and unlikely (a former prisoner, an army sergeant). He plays a game called Touch the Waiter. And he volunteers himself as a tour guide to foreigners visiting New York City in order to do ground-level reconnaissance on cultural manners divides. Along the way (in typical Alford style) he also finds time to teach Miss Manners how to steal a cab; designates the World''s Most Annoying Bride; and tosses his own hat into the ring, volunteering as an online etiquette coach.

Ultimately, by tackling the etiquette questions specific to our age-such as Why shouldn''t you ask a cab driver where''s he''s from?, Why is posting baby pictures on Facebook a fraught activity? and What''s the problem with "No problem"?-Alford finds a wry and warm way into a subject that has sometimes been seen as pedantic or elitist. And in this way, he looks past the standard "dos" and "don''ts" of good form to present an illuminating, seriously entertaining book about grace and civility, and how we can simply treat each other better.

About the Author

Henry Alford is the author of three acclaimed works of investigative humor - How To Live: A Seach for Wisdom from Old People (While They are Still on this Earth); Big Kiss: One Actor''s Desperate Attempt to Claw His Way to the Top; and Municipal Bondage: One Man''s Anxiety-Producing Adventures in the Big City. He has been a regular contributor to the New York Times and Vanity Fair, and a staff writer at Spy. He has also written for The New Yorker, GQ, New York, Details, Harper''s Bazaar, Travel & Leisure, the Village Voice, and Paris Review. He lives in Manhattan.

Editorial Reviews

"In today''s world of social climbers, inconsiderate shoppers, cell phone yappers and the ever-evolving social media, Alford has taken it upon himself to get to the root of just what good manners really means in 2012. His flair for adding jovial wit to the proceedings offered is evident in every chapter. He has a natural, informative and clever writing talent....All in all, Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That? A Modern Guide to Manners provides a reference point from which to learn, a sympathetic voice of reason and an everyday guide for almost any social situation you could possibly imagine."-The Edge
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