Do you really need to buy this book? You gotta ask yourself one
question: Are you going to be ready when the sh*t goes down? Here
is a quick checklist:
1. Have you dug up your wife''s rose garden and built a fallout
shelter, equipped with a prison where you can lock up annoying
2. Have you mapped out an escape route to your safe zone?
3. Is there a vehicle of death sitting in your garage?
4. Have you filled your go bag with all the needed instruments,
including waterproof matches, postapocalyptic goggles, and at least
one sexual party favor?
5. Have you learned how to milk various types of animals,
including a giraffe?
As you can see, you need this book more than you even know.
Without it, you''re roadkill. Lucky for you, Forrest Griffin is the
perfect apocalyptic chaperon. When he was in the womb, his mother
had visions that the world would soon crumble, and Forrest would be
the messiah of all mankind. He learned of these "visions" at the
age of ten, and although they led him to believe that his mom had
just been watching Mad Max and eating bad Mexican food,
nevertheless he began his postapocalyptic training-a part of which
involved his becoming a proud member of the Webelos, which is just
one step belowBoy Scout. And you know what the Boy Scout motto is.
(Well, I hope you do, because Forrest doesn''t have a clue).
Another part involved hoarding ketchup packets, which he sucked
down in the darkness of his room while listening to Nine Inch
Nails. Hey, don''t judge . . . hoarders are survivors. Just look at
squirrels, they have been around longer than sharks.
If you want to survive the end of the world, and then avoid
ending up in a government holding pen suffering from a bunch of
diseases and listening to crying babies, you''ve got some skills to
master. But don''t worry-Forrest has you covered. From spotting the
signs of the global downfall, to alienating your loved ones
now so they don''t come looking for you after, to
hot-wiring a car to starting a religion in your own image, he
provides you with all the hot knowledge you need to survive the
downfall of civilization. Simply put, this is the most important
book about the apocalypse that you will ever read by a UFC fighter