Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers

by Gabor Mate, Gordon Neufeld

Knopf Canada | August 13, 2013 | Trade Paperback |

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This parenting classic on one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time--peers replacing parents in the lives of children--is now more relevant than ever. The latest edition includes new material on how social media and video game culture are affecting our children, and what parents can do.
 
In Hold On to Your Kids, Dr. Neufeld and Dr. Maté explore the phenomenon of peer orientation: the troubling tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction--for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; it is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident--as do the solutions.

Format: Trade Paperback

Dimensions: 352 Pages, 5.91 × 8.66 × 0.79 in

Published: August 13, 2013

Publisher: Knopf Canada

Language: English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10: 0307361969

ISBN - 13: 9780307361967

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– More About This Product –

Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers

Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers

by Gabor Mate, Gordon Neufeld

Format: Trade Paperback

Dimensions: 352 Pages, 5.91 × 8.66 × 0.79 in

Published: August 13, 2013

Publisher: Knopf Canada

Language: English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10: 0307361969

ISBN - 13: 9780307361967

Read from the Book

PART ONE: The Phenomenon of Peer Orientation Chapter One: In Our Own Backyard Something has changed. We can sense it, can feel it, just not find the words for it. Children are not quite the same as we remember being. They seem less likely to take their cues from adults, less inclined to please those in charge, less afraid of getting into trouble. Parenting, too, seems to have changed. Our parents were more confident, more certain of themselves and had more impact on us, for better -- or, sometimes, for worse. For many today, parenting does not feel natural. Through the ages adults have complained about children being less respectful of their elders and more difficult to manage than preceding generations, but could it be that this time it is for real? Today’s parents love their children as much as parents ever have, but the love doesn’ t always get through. We have just as much to teach them as parents ever did, but they seem less interested in following our direction. We can sense our children’s potential but do not feel empowered to guide them toward fulfilling it. Sometimes they live and act as if they have been seduced away from us by some siren song we do not hear. We fear, if only vaguely, that the world has become less safe for them and that we are powerless to protect them. The gap opening up between children and adults can seem unbridgeable at times. We struggle to live up to our image of what parenting ought to be like. Not achieving the results we
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From the Publisher

This parenting classic on one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time--peers replacing parents in the lives of children--is now more relevant than ever. The latest edition includes new material on how social media and video game culture are affecting our children, and what parents can do.
 
In Hold On to Your Kids, Dr. Neufeld and Dr. Maté explore the phenomenon of peer orientation: the troubling tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction--for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; it is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident--as do the solutions.

About the Author

Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D, is a Vancouver-based clinical psychologist, internationally renowned as a foremost authority on child development. His Neufeld Institute delivers many courses he has created for parents, educators and helping professionals on several continents. He is recognized for his unique ability to unlock the clues to seemingly complex problems of child rearing and education.
 
Gabor Maté, M.D., is a physician and the bestselling author of When the Body Says No, Scattered Minds and In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts. A sought-after authority on stress, mind-body health, ADHD, parenting, and addictions, he travels extensively, addressing health personnel, teachers and lay audiences across North America and internationally.

Editorial Reviews

"With simple ideas and steps, this book is directed not only to parents, but to all those--educators, social workers, counsellors--whose lives and work bring them into contact with children."
-Quill & Quire
 
"May serve as a loud wake-up call for mothers and fathers.... Offers what many of the others do not--that rare commodity known as common sense."
-Winnipeg Free Press
 
"Beautifully written...terrific, poignant."
-Publishers Weekly (starred review)

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