Format: Trade Paperback
Dimensions: 304 pages, 8.15 × 5.42 × 0.86 in
Published: April 17, 2007
The following ISBNs are associated with this title:
ISBN - 10: 031242681X
ISBN - 13: 9780312426811
Read from the Book
Chapter One Pest Control The first time I was star-struck, the object of my affection was a glamorous Eastern Airlines stewardess. She had towering blond hair, frosted blue eyelids, and was well into her twenties. I was eight. We were thrown together when my parents put me on a flight by myself to Lawrenceville, Georgia, to visit my wealthy grandparents. "I call them by their first names, Jack and Carolyn," I told her with pride. "They''re my father''s parents. And my grandmother wears lots of jewelry, just like you." "Aren''t you precious?" the flight attendant said. I smiled because I loved the name, precious. It reminded me of precious stones like rubies and emeralds and diamonds. And even semiprecious stones, like onyx, which was the black stone men wore, and the ugliest one of all. The flight attendant returned to the kitchen, and I looked out the window, happy to see the mundane "North" pass by, far below me. As the only member of my family for generations born above the Mason-Dixon line, I was fascinated by the impossibly exotic South. Like, instead of dirty, gray squirrels, my grandparents had Technicolor peacocks on their lawn. And while we got hateful blizzards in the winter, my grandparents got yet more sunshine. I found it impossible to believe that snow did not cover the world but here was proof. Though this became an annual trip for me, my grandfather traveled a lot, so I never spent much time with him. And
From the Publisher
From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Running with Scissors comes Augusten Burroughs''s most provocative collection of true stories yet. From nicotine gum addiction to lesbian personal ads to incontinent dogs, Possible Side Effects mines Burroughs''s life in a series of uproariously funny essays. These are stories that are uniquely Augusten, with all the over-the-top hilarity of Running with Scissors, the erudition of Dry, and the breadth of Magical Thinking. A collection that is universal in its appeal and unabashedly intimate, Possible Side Effects continues to explore that which is most personal, mirthful, disturbing, and cherished, with unmatched audacity. A cautionary tale in essay form. Be forewarned--hilarious, troubling, and shocking results might occur.
From the Jacket
From the million-copy bestselling author of "Running with Scissors" comes Augusten Burroughs''s most provocative collection yet.
Augusten Burroughs is:
"One of the most compelling and screamingly funny voices of the new century."
"Endearingly neurotic...he hooks you into a story better than anybody."
"Outrageously magical...surprisingly thoughtful."
---"The Atlanta Journal-Constitution"
This book is approved for consumption by those seeking pleasure, escape, amusement, enlightenment, or general distraction. This book is not approved to treat disorders such as eBay addiction or incessant blind dating.
In studies, some people reported inappropriate, convulsive laughter, a tingling sensation in the limbs, and sudden gasping. Fewer than 1 percent reported narcolepsy.
Doll collectors may experience special sensitivity, as may discourteous drivers, candy-company brand managers, and nicotine-gum users.
This book has been shown to be especially helpful to those with parents, grandparents, life partners, and incontinent dogs. People with dry, cracked skin have responded well to this book, as have people with certain heart conditions.
Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this book, until you know what effects it may have on you.
This text is contraindicated in those suffering from certain psychiatric disorders, including---but not limited to---readers afflicted with anhedonia, which is the inability to experience pleasure.
Ask your doctor about "Possible Side Effects."
About the Author
Augusten Burroughs is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Running with Scissors, Sellevision, Dry, and Magical Thinking. A film version of Running with Scissors was adapted for the screen by Ryan Murphy. Augusten has been named one of the fifteen funniest people in America by Entertainment Weekly. He lives in New York City and western Massachusetts.
"Unflinchingly, Augusten Burroughs gouges himself (literally and figuratively), bleeds, gets it on paper--often without a neat resolution or the genre''s obligatory epiphany--and then makes you laugh. Now that''s genius."-- The New York Times Book Review "Burroughs makes good, snarky company even with nothing serious in mind."-- The New York Times "Oh, that boy is trouble. Augusten Burroughs offers more tales of his dysfunctional family and his ill-fated forays into polite society in his outrageously funny new collection of essays, Possible Side Effects . . . . Tart, smart, and wicked fun."-- O, The Oprah Magazine "The primary reason for reading the essays in Possible Side Effects is to enjoy the sound of his rueful, funny, faintly sulky voice. . . . This is a book by someone who understands the frailty and absurdity of the human condition."-- The Washington Post Book World "These essays aren''t for the faint-hearted . . . but you will laugh, a lot, and out loud, sometimes cringing. . . . You may see yourself here, with the sting such recognition entails."-- The Oregonian "Augusten Burroughs''s spare style and facility with double entendre are well suited to the biting comic essay form. He tackles everything from the tooth fairy to doll-collecting innkeepers to lesbian personal ads in this volume, and the result is fairly even and definitely hard to put down once you begin. Burroughs''s greatest strengths as a memoirist are his refusal to fi