The Men I Didn't Marry: A Novel

Kobo eBook available

read instantly on your Kobo or tablet.

buy the ebook now

The Men I Didn't Marry: A Novel

by Janice Kaplan, Lynn Schnurnberger

Random House Publishing Group | May 29, 2007 | Trade Paperback

Not yet rated | write a review
The authors of the national bestsellers Mine Are Spectacular! and The Botox Diaries apply their trademark wit and wisdom to another delicious read. Join Hallie Lawrence Pierpont as she's whisked away on a journey into her past love life that leads to her future.

Hallie's husband, Bill, doesn't even wait until they get home from dropping off their youngest daughter at Yale to announce that he's leaving-for fitness trainer Ashlee (two e's, perky breasts, and shiny hair to boot). After first succumbing to an Oreo-induced coma, Hallie is determined to get her life back. An unexpected call from an old college boyfriend sets a plan in motion. Whatever happened to all those men she didn't marry?

First up is Eric, now an international businessman and number 277 on Forbes's "Richest People in the World" list. He and Hallie used to put a nickel in the piggy bank every time they made love. Now Eric would like to renew the investment. Next she finds Rav Jon Yoma Maharishi-formerly known as Barry. Her onetime backpacking boyfriend has become the spiritual leader at the Heavenly Spirit Retreat Center, and their reunion would be a little smoother if he weren't in the midst of a three-day silent meditation. Kevin, the sexiest man she ever met, is now a scuba-diving photographer working on Angelina Jolie's latest movie. When he seduces her into joining him at his beachfront paradise on Virgin Gorda, Hallie can overlook his gaggle of bikini-clad friends, but can a woman survive on a steady diet of sex, sharks, and air tanks?

Back at home with her best friend, Bellini Baxter, Hallie visits an all-night spray-tanning salon and Soho's legendary Cellulite Exorcist, whose secret weapon looks suspiciously like an Oreck vacuum cleaner. Hallie's college-age children are protective of their mom but embarrassed to have her back in teenage territory-the world of dating and condoms. Finally, Hallie confronts the great love she swore she'd never see again and resolves an old family secret.

Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger tell a heartfelt and hilarious story about moving forward by looking back. By turns poignant and laugh-aloud funny, this is a must read for every woman who's ever wondered about the men she didn't marry.


From the Hardcover edition.

Format: Trade Paperback

Dimensions: 304 Pages, 5.12 × 7.87 × 0.39 in

Published: May 29, 2007

Publisher: Random House Publishing Group

Language: English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10: 0345491181

ISBN - 13: 9780345491183

Found in: Fiction and Literature

save
28%

In Stock

$13.64

Online Price

$17.95 List Price

or, Used from $5.04

eGift this item

Give this item in the form of an eGift Card.

+ what is this?

This item is eligible for FREE SHIPPING on orders over $25.
See details

Easy, FREE returns. See details

All available formats:

Check store inventory (prices may vary)

Reviews

– More About This Product –

The Men I Didn't Marry: A Novel

The Men I Didn't Marry: A Novel

by Janice Kaplan, Lynn Schnurnberger

Format: Trade Paperback

Dimensions: 304 Pages, 5.12 × 7.87 × 0.39 in

Published: May 29, 2007

Publisher: Random House Publishing Group

Language: English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10: 0345491181

ISBN - 13: 9780345491183

About the Book

From the bestselling authors of "Mine Are Spectacular!" and "The Botox Diaries" comes the perfect summer read for every woman who ever wondered if she let Mr. Right get away.

Read from the Book

Chapter ONE My husband doesn''t even wait until we''re in the car to drop his bombshell. We''ve just brought our daughter--the brilliant, beautiful, and beloved Emily--to her first day at Yale. I''ve met her roommate, unpacked her duffels, and made the bed with the soft sheets we got during our four-hour precollege shopping marathon at Bed Bath & Beyond. Okay, I didn''t really use the sheets Emily and I bought together. I picked up a better set at the exclusive Frette store on Madison Avenue to surprise her. The girl got into Yale, darn it; she shouldn''t sleep on anything less than 600-count sateen. Bill, the ever-doting father, jokes around with Emily while he sets up her computer and assembles a bookshelf next to her desk. As long as we''re both puttering at our little tasks, we can put off the emotional breakdown, sure to come the second we leave Emily behind and head back to our now very quiet house. Emily kisses her dad to thank him for his help, gives me a big hug, and then promises us she''ll be okay. Our cue to leave. With less surety, I say we''ll be okay, too. Now that our second child has officially become a college student, just like her big brother, Adam, our empty nest couldn''t get any emptier. On the way out of the dorm, we pass the freshman counselor''s "Welcome" table, stacked high with campus maps, orientation bulletins, and two bowls, one filled with Tootsie Roll pops and the other with condoms. Bad idea to offer all that candy--too easy to
read more read less

From the Publisher

The authors of the national bestsellers Mine Are Spectacular! and The Botox Diaries apply their trademark wit and wisdom to another delicious read. Join Hallie Lawrence Pierpont as she's whisked away on a journey into her past love life that leads to her future.

Hallie's husband, Bill, doesn't even wait until they get home from dropping off their youngest daughter at Yale to announce that he's leaving-for fitness trainer Ashlee (two e's, perky breasts, and shiny hair to boot). After first succumbing to an Oreo-induced coma, Hallie is determined to get her life back. An unexpected call from an old college boyfriend sets a plan in motion. Whatever happened to all those men she didn't marry?

First up is Eric, now an international businessman and number 277 on Forbes's "Richest People in the World" list. He and Hallie used to put a nickel in the piggy bank every time they made love. Now Eric would like to renew the investment. Next she finds Rav Jon Yoma Maharishi-formerly known as Barry. Her onetime backpacking boyfriend has become the spiritual leader at the Heavenly Spirit Retreat Center, and their reunion would be a little smoother if he weren't in the midst of a three-day silent meditation. Kevin, the sexiest man she ever met, is now a scuba-diving photographer working on Angelina Jolie's latest movie. When he seduces her into joining him at his beachfront paradise on Virgin Gorda, Hallie can overlook his gaggle of bikini-clad friends, but can a woman survive on a steady diet of sex, sharks, and air tanks?

Back at home with her best friend, Bellini Baxter, Hallie visits an all-night spray-tanning salon and Soho's legendary Cellulite Exorcist, whose secret weapon looks suspiciously like an Oreck vacuum cleaner. Hallie's college-age children are protective of their mom but embarrassed to have her back in teenage territory-the world of dating and condoms. Finally, Hallie confronts the great love she swore she'd never see again and resolves an old family secret.

Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger tell a heartfelt and hilarious story about moving forward by looking back. By turns poignant and laugh-aloud funny, this is a must read for every woman who's ever wondered about the men she didn't marry.


From the Hardcover edition.

From the Jacket

Praise for Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger

Mine Are Spectacular!

"A funny, buoyant novel...[the authors'] combination of whip-smart dialogue, spot-on metaphors and the occasional steamy bedroom scene creates a hilarious hit that gives chick lit just the kick to keep it from going stale. As Sara's girlfriend Berni might remark, Mine Are Spectacular! is better than a box of bonbons."
-People (four-star review)

"Ferociously funny."
-The New York Times

"[The authors] are deservedly renowned for their ability to document the social habits and favorite trends of wealthy women."
-Chicago Sun-Times

"Makes Wisteria Lane look like Sesame Street."
-New Jersey Life

The Botox Diaries

"This summer's must-have beach read!"
-ABC's The View

"[A] midlife-crisis bonbon, which should be sold with fuzzy slippers and a tube of cucumber eye gel."
-The New York Times Book Review

"A book you can't put down...a hilarious new novel offering a fresh and irreverent take on the lives and relationships of women in their forties."
--WCBS-TV

"Fast-paced and with zingers on every page."
-The Washington Post

"A sexy romp . . . which leads [its characters] charmingly back to the basics of being best friends."
-Elle


From the Hardcover edition.

About the Author

Between them, Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger have lived in three countries, raised three children, and published nine books-including the bestselling novels Mine Are Spectacular! and The Botox Diaries. They've produced hundreds of hours of network television shows and written articles for just about every women's magazine in America. Both have appeared regularly on television shows including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, and Today. Each is happily married and living in New York.


From the Hardcover edition.

Editorial Reviews

Praise for Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger

Mine Are Spectacular!

"A funny, buoyant novel...[the authors''] combination of whip-smart dialogue, spot-on metaphors and the occasional steamy bedroom scene creates a hilarious hit that gives chick lit just the kick to keep it from going stale. As Sara''s girlfriend Berni might remark, Mine Are Spectacular! is better than a box of bonbons."
-People (four-star review)

"Ferociously funny."
-The New York Times

"[The authors] are deservedly renowned for their ability to document the social habits and favorite trends of wealthy women."
-Chicago Sun-Times

"Makes Wisteria Lane look like Sesame Street."
-New Jersey Life

The Botox Diaries

"This summer's must-have beach read!"
-ABC's The View

"[A] midlife-crisis bonbon, which should be sold with fuzzy slippers and a tube of cucumber eye gel."
-The New York Times Book Review

"A book you can''t put down...a hilarious new novel offering a fresh and irreverent take on the lives and relationships of women in their forties."
--WCBS-TV

"Fast-paced and with zingers on every page."
-The Washington Post

"A sexy romp . . . which leads [its characters] charmingly back to the basics of being best friends."
-Elle


From the Hardcover edition.
Item not added

This item is not available to order at this time.

See used copies from 00.00
  • My Gift List
  • My Wish List
  • Shopping Cart