Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar

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Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar

by Kelly Oxford

HarperCollins Publishers Ltd | March 25, 2013 | Hardcover

Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar is rated 2 out of 5 by 1.

Kelly Oxford is .

A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds

Not the queen of the world

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher

The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush

A born salesman

Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20

That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time

Totally an expert on strep throat

Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend

A writer

A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes

"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." -Bea, age 4

Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket

"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." -Roger Ebert

Sad that David Copperfield doesn''t own a falcon

A terrible liar

Format: Hardcover

Dimensions: 336 pages, 9.25 × 6.38 × 1.13 in

Published: March 25, 2013

Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

Language: English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10: 1443408204

ISBN - 13: 9781443408202

Found in: Entertainment

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Reviews

Rated 2 out of 5 by from Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar This book made me feel like an old fuss-budget. I just can't relate. Don't get me wrong—it's not a bad book. It's exactly the right book for many people; it's just not the right book for me. As a precocious six-year-old, Kelly Oxford dreamed big and ordered people around. I was so timidly shy as a child I wanted to meld into the book shelf at the back of the classroom and disappear. I just can't relate. A teenaged Kelly Oxford looked like Kate Moss and she could eat all the McDonald's food she wanted without gaining a pound. Like most teenaged girls, I fought a daily battle against weight gain. I just can't relate. Marijuana found its way to Oxford like those calories found their way to my hips. I seemed to repel marijuana. I never had to deal with it. By the time it did present itself in front of me, I was old enough to be indifferent. I just can't relate. I can't relate to flying down to Hollywood for a weekend to stalk Leonardo DiCaprio. I can't relate to living in a marijuana haze in a camper for weeks. I can't relate to paying for a lap dance for a male, let alone a female. I just can't relate. I read this book in small doses. I could only handle so much of her "rash and irrational" Tom Green-esque escapades at once. I found myself relating more to Oxford's parents than I did to her. I sympathized with them and pictured them shaking their heads in a Tom Green's parents-esque kind of way. This was not the book for me, but it might be the book for you. If you like stories that could be preceded by "Oh man, remember the time we got so wasted," this might be the book for you. If you are one of those insufferable skinny women who still run around declaring how fat you look in a bikini, this might be the book for you. If you like stories that include profanity and lots of capital letters, this might be the book for you. Kelly Oxford has more than half a million followers on Twitter. In a recent Tweet, she wrote: When people don't understand me, I assume they're dumb. — kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) August 28, 2013 Call me dumb.
Date published: 2013-09-11

– More About This Product –

Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar

by Kelly Oxford

Format: Hardcover

Dimensions: 336 pages, 9.25 × 6.38 × 1.13 in

Published: March 25, 2013

Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

Language: English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10: 1443408204

ISBN - 13: 9781443408202

From the Publisher

Kelly Oxford is .

A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds

Not the queen of the world

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher

The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush

A born salesman

Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20

That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time

Totally an expert on strep throat

Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend

A writer

A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes

"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." -Bea, age 4

Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket

"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." -Roger Ebert

Sad that David Copperfield doesn''t own a falcon

A terrible liar

About the Author

KELLY OXFORD began writing at five years old when she pencilled “I had a baby” into her Hello Kitty diary, and she hasn’t stopped since. She now writes words that companies like Warner Brothers, CBS and NBC have bought for film and television and magazines like GQ have published. You can read more of her words online in places like Twitter (@kellyoxford) and Tumblr (kellyoxford.tumblr.com). Born in Edmonton, she currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband and three children, who all wish they weren’t in this book. &nbsp;<_o3a_p>

Editorial Reviews

"Kelly Oxford is like your cool babysitter who teaches you about sex and sarcasm in an un-creepy way. Hanging out with her book makes you wish your parents were always out to dinner."
? LENA DUNHAM
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