272 pages, 8.44 × 5.5 × 0.8 in
July 2, 2004
The following ISBNs are associated with this title:
ISBN - 10: 0743236017
ISBN - 13: 9780743236010
Read from the Book
Chapter 1: This Is Emo 0:01 No woman will ever satisfy me. I know that now, and I would never try to deny it. But this is actually okay, because I will never satisfy a woman, either. Should I be writing such thoughts? Perhaps not. Perhaps it's a bad idea. I can definitely foresee a scenario where that first paragraph could come back to haunt me, especially if I somehow became marginally famous. If I become marginally famous, I will undoubtedly be interviewed by someone in the media, and the interviewer will inevitably ask, "Fifteen years ago, you wrote that no woman could ever satisfy you. Now that you've been married for almost five years, are those words still true?" And I will have to say, "Oh, God no. Those were the words of an entirely different person -- a person whom I can't even relate to anymore. Honestly, I can't image an existence without _____. She satisfies me in ways that I never even considered. She saved my life, really." Now, I will be lying. I won't really feel that way. But I'll certainly say those words, and I'll deliver them with the utmost sincerity, even though those sentiments will not be there. So then the interviewer will undoubtedly quote lines from this particular paragraph, thereby reminding me that I swore I would publicly deny my true feelings, and I'll chuckle and say, "Come on, Mr. Rose. That was a literary device. You know I never really believed that." But here's the thing: I do believe that. It's the truth now, and it will be in the fu
Table of Contents
1 This Is Emo
2 Billy Sim
3 What Happens When People Stop Being Polite
(Pat Benatar interlude)
4 Every Dog Must Have His Every Day, Every Drunk Must Have His Drink
(Monkees = Monkees interlude)
5 Appetite for Replication
(an interlude to be named later)
6 Ten Seconds to Love
(metaphorical fruit interlude)
7 George Will vs. Nick Hornby
(Ralph Nader interlude)
(Fonzie recalibration interlude)
("kitty cat as terrorist" interlude)
10 The Lady or the Tiger
11 Being Zack Morris
12 Sulking with Lisa Loeb on the Ice Planet Hoth
13 The Awe-Inspiring Beauty of Tom Cruise's Shattered, Troll-like Face
14 Toby over Moby
(Johnny Cash interlude)
15 This Is Zodiac Speaking
(Timothy McVeigh interlude)
16 All I Know Is What I Read in the Papers
17 I, Rock Chump
(waiting to die interlude)
18 How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found
From the Publisher
From the author of the highly acclaimed heavy metal memoir, Fargo Rock City, comes another hilarious and discerning take on massively popular culture—set in Chuck Klosterman’s den and your own—covering everything from the effect of John Cusack flicks to the crucial role of breakfast cereal to the awesome power of the Dixie Chicks.
Countless writers and artists have spoken for a generation, but no one has done it quite like Chuck Klosterman. With an exhaustive knowledge of popular culture and an almost effortless ability to spin brilliant prose out of unlikely subject matter, Klosterman attacks the entire spectrum of postmodern America: reality TV, Internet porn, Pamela Anderson, literary Jesus freaks, and the real difference between apples and oranges (of which there is none). And don’t even get him started on his love life and the whole Harry-Met-Sally situation.
Whether deconstructing Saved by the Bell episodes or the artistic legacy of Billy Joel, the symbolic importance of The Empire Strikes Back or the Celtics/Lakers rivalry, Chuck will make you think, he’ll make you laugh, and he’ll drive you insane—usually all at once. Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs is ostensibly about art, entertainment, infotainment, sports, politics, and kittens, but—really—it’s about us. All of us. As Klosterman realizes late at night, in the moment before he falls asleep, “In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever ‘in and of itself.’” Read to believe.
About the Author
Chuck Klosterman, currently a music, film, & culture critic for Ohio's "Akron Beacon Journal", began his career with "The Forum" in Fargo, North Dakota. He lives in Akron, Ohio, where he once consumed nothing but McDonald's Chicken McNuggets for seven straight days.
The Washington Post Maddeningly smart and funny...[Klosterman's] good humor, compassion, and raw associative powers put him in the same league as Nick Hornby and Douglas Coupland, though he's a more tenacious critic than either.