Sh*t My Dad Says

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Sh*t My Dad Says

by Justin Halpern

HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS | April 15, 2010 | Hardcover

Sh*t My Dad Says is rated 4.2692 out of 5 by 26.

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won''t screw you. Don''t do it for them."

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern''s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny''s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns'' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts,Sh*t My Dad Saysis a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

Format: Hardcover

Dimensions: 176 pages, 7.38 × 5.88 × 0.75 in

Published: April 15, 2010

Publisher: HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS

Language: English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10: 0061992704

ISBN - 13: 9780061992704

Found in: Entertainment

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Reviews

Rated 5 out of 5 by from Made me chuckle! This approach to parenting is definitely not one I am familiar with but with the authors description I can see the "lessons" in most of the stories! A great book for someone who doesn't want to start a long story but enjoys reading and laughing!
Date published: 2014-04-08
Rated 5 out of 5 by from fantastic if you have sense of humour at all this will be a great read for you. I laughed until I cried so many times! I appreciate the author, and of course his father!!!
Date published: 2012-02-13
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Laughing Out Loud First off I should say that I had been following the facebook page of Sh*t My Dad Says for quite awhile. I knew that I found it funny, smart and that the swearing didn't bother me at all. I honestly loved every single page of this book. I don't usually laugh out loud with books, but this one had me trying to stifle my laughter on a plane. I loved the stories in here and the quotes at the end of each chapter just make it even more brilliant. If you are offended by 4 letter words than this book is not for you, but if you are willing to look past that and see the love this father has for his son, then you are in for a treat. I recommend it. Also, I could see some of my dad in Mr. Halpern, which made the book a hoot.
Date published: 2011-07-05
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Funny Funny. You'll finish it off in an hour or two... and then probably read it again later.
Date published: 2011-06-12
Rated 5 out of 5 by from This is Funny Stuff!! Although you will read this book in it's entirety in only a few hours, it will be a few hours spent laughing your butt off. This is hands down the funniest book I've read in at least 10 years. I usually find humour books funny with a few laugh-out-loud moments, but Sh*t my Dad Says had me laughing to the point of tears from the first page to the last. I highly recommend this gem!
Date published: 2011-05-05
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Fantastic This book is funny. Just get it! Everyone that read a few quotes from the book burst out laughing at least once, myself included.
Date published: 2011-01-19
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Hilarious! The dad reminds me a lot of Red Forman on "That's 70's show". I thought the book was hilarious. I laughed at every chapter for sure. The honesty of his father's words is embarrassing if you were his kid. It's a quick read for sure. This book is only for entertainment. There is nothing in depth about it; it was just fun to read.
Date published: 2011-01-11
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Excellent As funny as the show, a joy to read.
Date published: 2011-01-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Hilarious I bought this for my dad as a fun birthday gift and he absolutely loved it. It's hard to hold his concentration on one thing for a long time so the short blurbs and quotes perfectly peaked his interest.
Date published: 2010-12-02
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Enjoyed every second! This book was hilariously entertaining from beginning to end & I could not put it down until I had read every single page. The witty & comedic comments of Justin's dad had me laughing out loud!
Date published: 2010-11-03
Rated 2 out of 5 by from Ok to read if that's the only option Not impressed at all, I think stories are not that interesting and not that funny. Easy to read and bringing a couple of giggles, but it's as easy to put it away and never continue reading.
Date published: 2010-10-26
Rated 5 out of 5 by from i laughed so hard I cried ♥ The funniest Sh!t i hav ever read. omigosh i couldnt stop laughing! i was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down my face! i had to read the book thrice! I STRONGLY RECCOMEND THIS BOOK TO EVERYONE, WHO NEEDS A REALLY GOOD LAUGH! afterall, laughing is life`s best medecine.♥♥♥♥
Date published: 2010-09-18
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great I couldn't put this book down. I loved it. I sailed through it and I can't wait for the T.V show to come out. Smart, funny, and vulger Halpern's dad rocks.
Date published: 2010-09-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Read this!!! Sh t my dad says is the story of Justin Halpern's early life crisis. Having been dumped by his girlfriend, Justin finds himself without a home. So what does a young writer do - he moves back in with his parents. Specifically he moves back in with his larger than life father Sam, a retired medical researcher. Sh t is about the relationship Justin thought he never had with his father, and by the end of this book he realizes just how much his father cares for him. The title comes from the Twitter account he started, posting all the little pearls of wisdom his father would graphically impart on him and his brothers. Everytime his dad would drop one, he would post it while his followers grew into the millions. The books is a series of anecdotes around his father's musings on the topics of the day and situations he happened upon in his everyday life. If you read this you will think that he is talking about your own father, I know I did. Not for everybody because of the language, but you should read this it is funny and it is life. Buy it!!!
Date published: 2010-09-15
Rated 5 out of 5 by from HYS-F**King-sterical!!!!!!! This has to be the best book out there! It's such and easy read and like the other reviewers, DEPENDS may be...errr....are definitely required! Mr. Halpern, thank you for making us laugh, your father has some of the most memorable quotes and yet this book shows how families are close in there own ways!! Congratulations on such a success!
Date published: 2010-09-08
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Funniest ever probably one of the funniest books I have read in a long long time....the language gets a little colourful but you cannot argue the humor.
Date published: 2010-08-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Hilarious You can read the book easily in a day but it's better to read it over time - to savour the laughs you'll actually get from it :) The perfect book for the person who wants something different or needs cheering up!
Date published: 2010-08-03
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazinly Funny I started laughing as soon as I picked up the book! If I wasn't on an airplane I think I would have peed my pants. I will be telling everyone about this book.
Date published: 2010-07-26
Rated 1 out of 5 by from My father says it isn't worth the paper it was written on Disgusting use of language, too much profanity and not funny.
Date published: 2010-07-17
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Good "I've nothing else to read"... Funny at times
Date published: 2010-06-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Have you in stitches Excellent book I started laughing the minute i picked it up
Date published: 2010-06-23
Rated 3 out of 5 by from sorbet to clear your mind between novels This book is vulgar since his father's quips have the F bomb in every sentence. However, once you get past that it is a good laugh and a short, fast read. Much like a sorbet between courses to cleanse your palate it clears your mind between novels. I enjoyed it and laughed out loud a number of times so I would reccomend to a friend and as a father's day gift!
Date published: 2010-06-10
Rated 1 out of 5 by from Very short on english language skills If you enjoy reading a book that is f**k this and f**k that you will enjoy this book. I can't believe that a parent would talk this way to a child. There are one or two humourous items but for the most part it is a repetition of of the famous swear word. It almost becomes monotonous. What a waste of money and time.
Date published: 2010-06-08
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great comedy All i could hear when i read this book was George Costanza's dads voice. I laughed my A** off at parts of this. There are so many parts that really show you the essence of our aging parents and how we look at them. If you like Sienfeld.... or king of Queens this author is up your alley. Even my teen aged son got a kick out of it. For even older readers ( in a good way of course) You might hear some Archie bunker in there. I am 3/4 of the way through the book but wanted to put my 2 cents in. Somebody give this guy a comedy show.
Date published: 2010-06-02
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Freakin HILARIOUS! This book had me in stitches. I literally cried laughing.
Date published: 2010-05-19
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Laughed out loud! This is the funniest book I have ever read. It has such character and heart. It reminded me of some of the truly wonderful men I know... There are so many lessons and truths in this book. Read it!
Date published: 2010-05-06

– More About This Product –

Sh*t My Dad Says

by Justin Halpern

Format: Hardcover

Dimensions: 176 pages, 7.38 × 5.88 × 0.75 in

Published: April 15, 2010

Publisher: HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS

Language: English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10: 0061992704

ISBN - 13: 9780061992704

About the Book

In the vein of bestselling humor collections by Chelsea Handler, David Sedaris, and Laurie Notaro, "Sh*t My Dad Says" is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

From the Publisher

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won''t screw you. Don''t do it for them."

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern''s philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny''s, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns'' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts,Sh*t My Dad Saysis a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

About the Author

Justin Halpern is the author of the #1New York TimesbestsellerSh*t My Dad Says, inspired by his massively popular Twitter feed. SPOILER ALERT: He lives with his wife in Los Angeles.

Editorial Reviews

"If you''re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes." (Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like)