From Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #1: School. Hasn''t This
Gone on Long Enough?
Dear Whoever Is Reading My Dumb Diary,
I know you''re hoping to read my diary and find out what it
is about me that makes me so awesome.
And you probably want to steal my beauty secrets, like how
not trying to be beautiful all the time makes me beautifuller. Or
maybe you''re hoping to get a glimpse of my supersecret art
secrets, like how I make glitter stick to things. (Okay, maybe that
one is not that secret, but I do have other things about me that
are way greater than they need to be.)
"Way Greater Than She Needs To Be." I''m getting older now,
and I need to think about the future. So I officially authorize
that saying to be engraved on the first twenty large statues people
create of me. After that, they can choose other super-complimentary
Frequent use of the word "cute" is also authorized, although
I really prefer "kewt." (It''s kewter.)
Also, parents, if you''re reading this, stop reading my
diary now. I know I''m not supposed to point out other people''s
flaws, but I didn''t actually point them out, I only wrote them
out. And if you punish me for it, I''ll know that you read my
diary. Not only am I not giving you permission to do that, it will
just prove how much less awesome you are than me.