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From the Publisher
What Room Are You In?
Ask any woman how she''s feeling. Even when things look pretty darn
great from the outside, chances are that at least one thing (and it
may seem minor to others) is nagging at her, making her feel less
than spectacular, bringing her down: I''m too fat. My husband
doesn''t help enough around the house. My friend is going to be mad
if I don''t call her back. Why don''t my kids try harder at school?
My job is less than inspiring. Whatever happened to that old
boyfriend, the one who got away?
Whether it''s the size of our thighs or our bank accounts, there
always seems to be something that isn''t measuring up to our high
standards--and we let the dissatisfaction spill over into other
areas of our lives, distracting us from taking pleasure in
everything that''s going right.
In The Nine Rooms of Happiness, Lucy Danziger, editor in
chief of Self magazine, and women''s-health psychiatrist
Catherine Birndorf use the metaphor of a house to release us from
this phenomenon. In this house, the living room is where we deal
with friendships and our social life; the bedroom is where we
explore intimacy, romance, relationships, and sex; the bathroom is
for issues relating to health and body image; the kitchen is for
nourishment and the division of chores; and so on.
Our "inner house" can have eight beautifully designed, neat and
tidy rooms, and one messy one, and still we focus on the
The Nine Rooms of Happiness pinpoints common
self-destructive patterns of behavior and offers key processes that
will help readers clean up their emotional architecture. After each
room is "clean," Danziger and Birndorf show us how we can spend
time on ourselves figuring out what is most meaningful to
us--finding larger passion and purpose that makes returning to the
rest of our house a pleasure, no matter what calamity or mess
The result? After reading this book you''ll think differently about
the things that are bringing you down and be able to live a
happier, more joy filled life, in every room of your emotional
From the outside, you''d think I have it all: beautiful house,
wonderful children, devoted husband. But am I happy? I think so.
There''s nothing that has gone terribly wrong. There''s no reason
for me not to be happy. But I don''t feel happy so much as I feel
I''m just going through the motions. Sometimes I have the feeling
that there''s more and I just haven''t found it yet. But what . . .
and how dare I want more? Isn''t all that I have enough?
--from The Nine Rooms of Happiness