How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale CarnegieHow To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends And Influence People

byDale Carnegie

Paperback | October 1, 1998

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You can go after the job you want—and get it!
You can take the job you have—and improve it!
You can take any situation—and make it work for you!

Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. One of the most groundbreaking and timeless bestsellers of all time, How to Win Friends & Influence People will teach you:

-Six ways to make people like you
-Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking
-Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment

And much more! Achieve your maximum potential—a must-read for the twenty-first century with more than 15 million copies sold!
Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (spelled Carnagey until 1922) was born on November 24, 1888 in Maryville, Missouri. He was the son of a poor farmer but he managed to get an education at the State Teacher's College in Warrensburg. After school he became a successful salesman and then began pursuing his dream of becoming a lecturer. At one po...
Title:How To Win Friends And Influence PeopleFormat:PaperbackProduct dimensions:288 pages, 8.25 × 5.31 × 0.7 inShipping dimensions:8.25 × 5.31 × 0.7 inPublished:October 1, 1998Publisher:Gallery BooksLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0671027034

ISBN - 13:9780671027032


Rated 2 out of 5 by from Some helpful tips but overall did not enjoy this read Although I did agree with some of the authors tips on helpful skills with dealing with others. I found the book to be too agreeable and boring to get through at times.
Date published: 2018-12-04
Rated 5 out of 5 by from great book! This was a great book... very encouraging and helpful!
Date published: 2018-09-14
Rated 5 out of 5 by from A Must Read! There is a reason why this book is so famous! It is easy to read, and Carnegie has a knack for illustrating his point across so beautifully
Date published: 2018-08-02
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Incredible This book was 80 years ago but you will never find anything this helpful as this one
Date published: 2018-08-01
Rated 5 out of 5 by from still the winner the ideas in this book really can't be improved on. classic
Date published: 2018-07-30
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Written in 1936 - Still Relevant It boggles my mind at how current this book seems even though it was written in 1936. I read this as part of a marketing class, teaching us the art of persuasion. It will help you with your persuasiveness and teach you good general business manners as well. A very good read and a book I could find useful for years to come.
Date published: 2018-07-28
Rated 5 out of 5 by from A great life learning book I bought this book 8 years ago, and I re-read this every year. I applied a few lessons from this book and changed the atmosphere at my work. I used to hate going to work because of one person, and when I applied some of the lessons from this book, that person has now become a very good friend.
Date published: 2018-07-19
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Read more than once! Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, is a must-read for anyone in business. Although the examples may seem outdated, the core messaging is timelessly relevant. There's plenty of wisdom in this book and I'd recommend it to anyone interested in growing on a personal and professional level. Every office should own a copy of this book. #PlumRewards
Date published: 2018-07-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Must read! My favourite book. It's written well and provides excellent advice about building and maintaining relationships. Everyone should own this book.
Date published: 2018-07-11
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Classic interpersonal relations book Everyone must read. A helpful tool to everyone to improve the interpersonal skills and social skills. This book is very practical and can affect and change people.
Date published: 2018-06-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from A must read! A great read! Practical solutions to creating better relationships and become a better person. Examples may be a bit outdated, but still outline a clear and concise method of fostering collaboration and putting others before ourselves.
Date published: 2018-05-31
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Relevant but not... How to Win Friends and Influence people? Be a doormat apparently... While Carnegie does give a few great points of advice (avoiding pointless arguments, admitting when you're wrong), I feel like the pacifist advice isn't helpful in serious disagreements or when conflict is unavoidable. In addition, I feel this only works when both parties are acting in good faith, which is hard to come by in today's day and age.
Date published: 2018-05-29
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Read This book is old so the examples it provides may seem outdated but I still found them relevant and very practical to today's situations. Highly recommend
Date published: 2018-05-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Epic classic This is probably one of the best books ever written. There is so much wisdom in this book it will blow your mind. Maybe not the first time or the second time, but as you read and re-read this book (at least once a year) you'll find even more magic and wisdom in it. This is a book meant to be read several times. Don't pass this one over!
Date published: 2018-04-30
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Helps you be less of an A**hole It's true. practical well delivered advice you should hear.
Date published: 2018-04-28
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Important book to read and reference. I've read quite a few books on communications and have noted that many reference this particular book. This book is the How-To book for empathy, surprisingly without ever using the word 'empathy'. If you want to improve your listening and communication skills and broaden your network, these old school tips are indispensable.
Date published: 2018-04-10
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great An iconic book that I would say is a must read, helpful and well written
Date published: 2018-04-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Useful tips This book provides many useful tips especially for an introvert like me.
Date published: 2018-04-04
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great stuff to think about. Generally don't read these types of books, however a few tips I found useful to get out of an altercation. This stuff works.
Date published: 2018-03-27
Rated 5 out of 5 by from A absolute must-read! This is an amazing book for both buissnes and life skills!
Date published: 2018-03-18
Rated 3 out of 5 by from An okay book I thought the information in the book is a bit outdated and might not be accurate in all situations. I don't think there really is a method of winning friends that will be completely effective either. Don't get me wrong. I think it is important to smile occasionally, remember people's names, and give people a firm handshake but I think these actions are superficial at best. I think finding friends is mostly about finding the right group of people, people who are like-minded, that is.
Date published: 2018-03-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Excited to read Heard so many good reviews on this book. Excited to give it a read!
Date published: 2018-03-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Excellent book! This book teaches us how to improve the way we approach people and create a positive impact around us!!
Date published: 2018-03-05
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Good book for introverts I am an introvert and found this book to be helpful and realistic
Date published: 2018-02-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Should Be Required Reading No book has had as large an impact on my life as this. I feel it should be required reading for everybody.
Date published: 2018-02-04
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Excellent! Easy read. Easily apply content. Enjoyed this book filled with realistic concepts.
Date published: 2018-01-29
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Just bought this book Just purchased this book today - I'm really looking forward to it as I've heard great things and know many who have started reading it. Will write another review after reading!
Date published: 2018-01-27
Rated 4 out of 5 by from great This is great if you want to be more interactive
Date published: 2018-01-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from If you only read one book on dealing with people and success principles, this should be it. This is the best guide for growing your people skills
Date published: 2018-01-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I always re- read This is one of those books where you learn something new everytime you read it. It changed my life!
Date published: 2017-12-31
Rated 5 out of 5 by from great book! This book is classic, and for good reason it has stayed popular. Style of writing is of that era but very practical and down to earth book. Won't be disappointed if you want genuine tips.
Date published: 2017-11-27
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Lifelong advice I read this as a teenager and still remember it as having great advice to live by - some people are naturals at making friends, others need some help!
Date published: 2017-11-23
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great That book to help be the alpha male or demonstrate leadership.
Date published: 2017-11-23
Rated 5 out of 5 by from love this!! I keep this on my office bookshelf all the time. It is a life changing book, must read for all entrepreneurs!
Date published: 2017-11-08
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great for people looking to be better Communicator I bought this book and read it cover to cover as my interest was peake but, there is so much information that i go back to it and read chapters again that occur in my life. Its dated but still relevant
Date published: 2017-11-02
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazing! Concrete tips on developing interpersonal skills. This is a life changer!
Date published: 2017-10-23
Rated 5 out of 5 by from One of those rare reads that can actually improve your life The biggest idea in the book was that if you make people feel appreciated and respected, they will not only want to be your friend, but you can have a major influence on them. Just understanding this simple principle can help a lot in social situations. The book is filled with amazing and interesting stories that you can learn from. A rarely say this, but it's a Must Read
Date published: 2017-10-10
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great Read Was a good read with some interesting ideas in communicating in different situations!! Alot of people should read this book!
Date published: 2017-10-02
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Highly recommend this awesome book!! Amazing book when applied to daily life! Such a great book and a classic that is more than relevant today. Every relationship in my life has changed for the better! It really helps you understand people and stop thinking about yourself which by taking the focus off yourself and your problems and serving others really helps ease and get rid of your own problems. :)
Date published: 2017-09-02
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Classic Dale Carnegie's classic piece continues to be relevant. His lessons are taught through his own analysis as well as short anecdotes that make the book enjoyable and easy to read. Believe it or not, my wife an I are reading the book together and it's been a lot of fun. It's one of those self help books that tells you things about the world that are so obvious, but then makes you ask your self, "then why don't I behave that way?"
Date published: 2017-08-20
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great read Put the principles to work and change your life!
Date published: 2017-07-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Worth the investment! a great book to coach you how to network and communicate with people in different situation.
Date published: 2017-07-05
Rated 5 out of 5 by from One of those 'classic' must reads! This book should be a mandatory read for everyone! Read this book, implement the thoughts and strategies presented in your relationships and communication with others and you'll be a champ (waaaay ahead of everyone that hasn't gained the knowledge, that you now have).
Date published: 2017-06-27
Rated 3 out of 5 by from good good read with some interesting ideas
Date published: 2017-06-25
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazing concept This book is incredible for anyone wishing to be more comfortable interacting with all kinds of people, or even just reaching people with more confidence in business conditions. If you are shy, an introvert, or lack communication/people skills, this book is especially for you
Date published: 2017-06-25
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great advice! Thus book is great for everyone! I bought it to help improve my small business, but his principles can be applied to every day life! Will help make you a more understanding person!
Date published: 2017-06-08
Rated 5 out of 5 by from One of the best books I ever read! Holds the power to change your life!
Date published: 2017-05-14
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Stands the test of time! So full of common sense that few of us ever think about using in our day to day interactions. Learning so much and imporving my life.
Date published: 2017-05-02
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Must read for everyone! This is one of those books that everyone must read once in their lives as it hold the power to change ones life.
Date published: 2017-04-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Must Read Everyone can apply this to their life #plumreview
Date published: 2017-04-10
Rated 4 out of 5 by from What every professional should read at least once Classic book by Carnegie that should be a requirement for any professional. Easy to read and holds up 80 years later.
Date published: 2017-04-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from First and ONLY self help book Dale Carnegie was a genius in cracking the code of being a better person. This book can be used to get ahead in business and/or personal interaction. Some parts are dated, but unlike most self-help books, this is not some crazy fad, just honest observation.
Date published: 2017-03-03
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Life-changing. My boyfriend lent me his copy and I have never given it back. I re-read it often and always find a new gem of info that inspires me or gives me new perspective.
Date published: 2017-02-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Best Book! So much basic skills but when you read it, it is a "aha" moment! If we all took from this book, the world would be a better place!
Date published: 2017-02-23
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Will never get tired of reading this. This is a must read book for the business oriented & entrepreneurs. I have read this book over 5 times but each time I come across information that I have not picked up before. Highly recommend this book for the growing individuals.
Date published: 2017-01-18
Rated 5 out of 5 by from A book you will want to re-read throughout your lifetime One of the best book I have ever read. It really changes my view point on how to interact with people in terms of their problems, introducing myself to others, and it has in fact help me network with people. It gives great examples of stories of people based on Dale’s real life situations or made up short stories that each provide great lessons you can learn. Overall is a book everyone should buy, no matter if you are into business or just a regular person. It will change the way you interact with people, and get yourself out their to become successful in to gaining friends and influencing others, no matter the personality type.
Date published: 2017-01-17
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Interesting An interesting perspective.
Date published: 2017-01-15
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Must read in your lifetime Very interesting and insightful book. A must read for everyone to prepare for today's society.
Date published: 2017-01-13
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Can't seem to put it down! I received this book a couple days ago and I am hooked! It is extremely interesting! Any book that can help you improve yourself and give you a better understanding of how to interact with the people around is worth a read and this book definitely does that. Will be buying another copy to gift!
Date published: 2017-01-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Carnegie Keep this book handy. You will find yourself going back to re-read it.
Date published: 2016-12-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from good Highly recommended. A good read.
Date published: 2016-11-28
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Everyone should read this book Still applicable and relateable to any generation. Most of it is common sense but it's still nice to know a few tips and tricks. I wish I read this when I was a lot younger.
Date published: 2016-11-16
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Really helpful This book is a gold-mine. Dale includes so many case studies to show us how applicable his principles are. Will definitely go back to this book numerous times.
Date published: 2016-11-16
Rated 5 out of 5 by from awesome book happy i bought this, it is full of wonderful experiences and the author is very smart in getting to the point without being boring.
Date published: 2016-08-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Loving it These are concepts that seem so evident, but until Canergie actually lays them out for you, you do not really realize how simple it is to have better interactions with people. All you have to do is apply these simple yet brilliant principles and practice them! Happy I came across this book
Date published: 2015-09-30
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Awesome I enjoyed reading the book from first page to the last with increasing enthusiasm. This book is filled with practical applications to be an effective leader. Thank you
Date published: 2015-04-29
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Timeless This book never gets old. I still see it selling for a price because the info is just as applicable today as it will be 100 years from now or a 1000 years before. This us the only book my mentors suggest I read every year and God knows I need to. JW
Date published: 2015-02-13
Rated 5 out of 5 by from One of my favourite self-help books The methods presented were applicable right away, and unique. I felt genuinely interested in others and to be honest and ethical. It is a great handbook that you can turn to to reflect on yourself. After reading and applying the methods, I felt happier about my interactions with others in general. Sometimes when I meet really social people, I ask them if they read this book. The usual answer is yes.
Date published: 2014-10-30
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazing This book really help to deal with people and to understand them. I recommend this book for the ones who want to improve their personal growth.
Date published: 2014-10-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from It works for me! This book is practicable for your daily life. I tried to follow the the suggestion and it worked. The book is accompanied with examples from famous and prominent people, so the suggestion came up with real evidence. This book change the way I behave and verily its beneficial for me.
Date published: 2014-06-03
Rated 5 out of 5 by from District Leader-Self employed Amazing teachings of how to deal with people!
Date published: 2014-05-29
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great! Very good and practical lessons. It is timeless!
Date published: 2013-11-11
Rated 4 out of 5 by from a nice reminder I've read some of the reviews of this book calling it "common sense". While granted some of it is, this book is nevertheless a great review/refresher of your perspective and is a nice way to get yourself back on track. If you are concerned that some of the principles in this book are out dated don't be. There is a reason its been around all this time and that is the simple fact that while times and technology have changed human beings and their psychological cores have not. If you are someone who is really struggling with personal and buisness relatonships and have no idea where to start at all then this is the book for you to learn how. If you are even a social butterfly and think you are set there may be things in here for you to brush up on (or even realize that you are doing wrong). Overall the book is worth a read. Would highly recommend for people in their late teens as well ( I wish I had read this in highschool).
Date published: 2013-09-03
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Good read A lot of useful info
Date published: 2013-03-22
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Useful tools for salespeople Presented are ideas like giving sincere compliments, not criticizing others, smiling, being a good listener, making others feel important, remembering people's names, encouraging others, indirectly call attention to other people's mistakes, asking questions instead of giving orders, etc....
Date published: 2011-06-26
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Best of the Best When I started out in sales some 40 years ago this one book led me to great success in my career. PASSIVE sales and marketing as taught by Dale Carnegie is still applicable today just as it was when I first read the book. Gunther G. - GENGRO4success -
Date published: 2008-01-18
Rated 5 out of 5 by from The Greatest motivational book of the century This book is the finest in quality. A good book for several age levels. Dale summarizes the basic simple attitudes anyone can use to acheive their desires. This book gratifies the reader information and the motives for becoming a better person and acquiring a healthier lifestyle.
Date published: 2001-03-15
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Want Friends ??? Read this Book!! Dale Cargenie, The most influential person in Self-Help Books. How to win friends and Influence people is for anyone who wants to change their perception on how to really commuicate with people. When i read through this book i as amazed by the many misinterpretations i had on dealing with people. When i put these new founds ideas to the test, i found that people reacted in a more open and pleasant way. Hey do you want to impress your boss or be a leader in your group,read this book.
Date published: 2000-10-03

Read from the Book

Chapter 1"If You Want to Gather Honey, Don't Kick Over the Beehive"On May 7, 1931, the most sensational manhunt New York City had ever known had come to its climax. After weeks of search, "Two Gun" Crowley -- the killer, the gunman who didn't smoke or drink -- was at bay, trapped in his sweetheart's apartment on West End Avenue.One hundred and fifty policemen and detectives laid siege to his top-floor hideaway. They chopped holes in the roof; they tried to smoke out Crowley, the "cop killer," with tear gas. Then they mounted their machine guns on surrounding buildings, and for more than an hour one of New York's fine residential areas reverberated with the crack of pistol fire and the rat-tat-tat of machine guns. Crowley, crouching behind an overstuffed chair, fired incessantly at the police. Ten thousand excited people watched the battle. Nothing like it had ever been seen before on the sidewalks of New York.When Crowley was captured, Police Commissioner E. P. Mulrooney declared that the two-gun desperado was one of the most dangerous criminals ever encountered in the history of New York. "He will kill," said the Commissioner, "at the drop of a feather."But how did "Two Gun" Crowley regard himself? We know, because while the police were firing into his apartment, he wrote a letter addressed "To whom it may concern." And, as he wrote, the blood flowing from his wounds left a crimson trail on the paper. In his letter Crowley said: "Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one -- one that would do nobody any harm."A short time before this, Crowley had been having a necking party with his girl friend on a country road out on Long Island. Suddenly a policeman walked up to the car and said: "Let me see your license."Without saying a word, Crowley drew his gun and cut the policeman down with a shower of lead. As the dying officer fell, Crowley leaped out of the car, grabbed the officer's revolver, and fired another bullet into the prostrate body. And that was the killer who said: "Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one -- one that would do nobody any harm."Crowley was sentenced to the electric chair. When he arrived at the death house in Sing Sing, did he say, "This is what I get for killing people"? No, he said: "This is what I get for defending myself."The point of the story is this: "Two Gun" Crowley didn't blame himself for anything.Is that an unusual attitude among criminals? If you think so, listen to this:"I have spent the best years of my life giving people the lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time, and all I get is abuse, the existence of a hunted man."That's Al Capone speaking. Yes, America's most notorious Public Enemy -- the most sinister gang leader who ever shot up Chicago. Capone didn't condemn himself. He actually regarded himself as a public benefactor -- an unappreciated and misunderstood public benefactor.And so did Dutch Schultz before he crumpled up under gangster bullets in Newark. Dutch Schultz, one of New York's most notorious rats, said in a newspaper interview that he was a public benefactor. And he believed it.I have had some interesting correspondence with Lewis Lawes, who was warden of New York's infamous Sing Sing prison for many years, on this subject, and he declared that "few of the criminals in Sing Sing regard themselves as bad men. They are just as human as you and I. So they rationalize, they explain. They can tell you why they had to crack a safe or be quick on the trigger finger. Most of them attempt by a form of reasoning, fallacious or logical, to justify their antisocial acts even to themselves, consequently stoutly maintaining that they should never have been imprisoned at all."If Al Capone, "Two Gun" Crowley, Dutch Schultz, and the desperate men and women behind prison walls don't blame themselves for anything -- what about the people with whom you and I come in contact?John Wanamaker, founder of the stores that bear his name, once confessed: "I learned thirty years ago that it is foolish to scold. I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact that God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence."Wanamaker learned this lesson early, but I personally had to blunder through this old world for a third of a century before it even began to dawn upon me that ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don't criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.B. F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.Hans Selye, another great psychologist, said, "As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation."The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.George B. Johnston of Enid, Oklahoma, is the safety coordinator for an engineering company. One of his responsibilities is to see that employees wear their hard hats whenever they are on the job in the field. He reported that whenever he came across workers who were not wearing hard hats, he would tell them with a lot of authority of the regulation and that they must comply. As a result he would get sullen acceptance, and often after he left, the workers would remove the hats.He decided to try a different approach. The next time he found some of the workers not wearing their hard hat, he asked if the hats were uncomfortable or did not fit properly. Then he reminded the men in a pleasant tone of voice that the hat was designed to protect them from injury and suggested that it always be worn on the job. The result was increased compliance with the regulation with no resentment or emotional upset.You will find examples of the futility of criticism bristling on a thousand pages of history. Take, for example, the famous quarrel between Theodore Roosevelt and President Taft -- a quarrel that split the Republican party, put Woodrow Wilson in the White House, and wrote bold, luminous lines across the First World War and altered the flow of history. Let's review the facts quickly. When Theodore Roosevelt stepped out of the White House in 1908, he supported Taft, who was elected President. Then Theodore Roosevelt went off to Africa to shoot lions. When he returned, he exploded. He denounced Taft for his conservatism, tried to secure the nomination for a third term himself, formed the Bull Moose party, and all but demolished the G.O.P. In the election that followed, William Howard Taft and the Republican party carried only two states -- Vermont and Utah. The most disastrous defeat the party had ever known.Theodore Roosevelt blamed Taft, but did President Taft blame himself? Of course not. With tears in his eyes, Taft said: "I don't see how I could have done any differently from what I have."Who was to blame? Roosevelt or Taft? Frankly, I don't know, and I don't care. The point I am trying to make is that all of Theodore Roosevelt's criticism didn't persuade Taft that he was wrong. It merely made Taft strive to justify himself and to reiterate with tears in his eyes: "I don't see how I could have done any differently from what I have."Or, take the Teapot Dome oil scandal. It kept the newspapers ringing with indignation in the early 1920s. It rocked the nation! Within the memory of living men, nothing like it had ever happened before in American public life. Here are the bare facts of the scandal: Albert B. Fall, secretary of the interior in Harding's cabinet, was entrusted with the leasing of government oil reserves at Elk Hill and Teapot Dome -- oil reserves that had been set aside for the future use of the Navy. Did Secretary Fall permit competitive bidding? No sir, He handed the fat, juicy contract outright to his friend Edward L. Doheny. And what did Doheny do? He gave Secretary Fall what he was pleased to call a "loan" of one hundred thousand dollars. Then, in a high-handed manner, Secretary Fall ordered United States Marines into the district to drive off competitors whose adjacent wells were sapping oil out of the Elk Hill reserves. These competitors, driven off their ground at the ends of guns and bayonets, rushed into court -- and blew the lid off the Teapot Dome scandal. A stench arose so vile that it ruined the Harding Administration, nauseated an entire nation, threatened to wreck the Republican party, and put Albert B. Fall behind prison bars.Fall was condemned viciously -- condemned as few men in public life have ever been. Did he repent? Never! Years later Herbert Hoover intimated in a public speech that President Harding's death had been due to mental anxiety and worry because a friend had betrayed him. When Mrs. Fall heard that, she sprang from her chair, she wept, she shook her fists at fate and screamed: "What! Harding betrayed by Fall? No! My husband never betrayed anyone. This whole house full of gold would not tempt my husband to do wrong. He is the one who has been betrayed and led to the slaughter and crucified."There you are; human nature in action, wrongdoers, blaming everybody but themselves. We are all like that. So when you and I are tempted to criticize someone tomorrow, let's remember Al Capone, "Two Gun" Crowley and Albert Fall. Let's realize that criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. Let's realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return; or, like the gentle Taft, will say: "I don't see how I could have done any differently from what I have."On the morning of April 15, 1865, Abraham Lincoln lay dying in a hall bedroom of a cheap lodging house directly across the street from Ford's Theater, where John Wilkes Booth had shot him. Lincoln's long body lay stretched diagonally across a sagging bed that was too short for him. A cheap reproduction of Rosa Bonheur's famous painting The Horse Fair hung above the bed, and a dismal gas jet flickered yellow light.As Lincoln lay dying, Secretary of War Stanton said, "There lies the most perfect ruler of men that the world has ever seen."What was the secret of Lincoln's success in dealing with people? I studied the life of Abraham Lincoln for ten years and devoted all of three years to writing and rewriting a book entitled Lincoln the Unknown. I believe I have made as detailed and exhaustive a study of Lincoln's personality and home life as it is possible for any being to make. I made a special study of Lincoln's method of dealing with people. Did he indulge in criticism? Oh, yes. As a young man in the Pigeon Creek Valley of Indiana, he not only criticized but he wrote letters and poems ridiculing people and dropped these letters on the country roads where they were sure to be found. One of these letters aroused resentments that burned for a lifetime.Even after Lincoln had become a practicing lawyer in Springfield, Illinois, he attacked his opponents openly in letters published in the newspapers. But he did this just once too often.In the autumn of 1842 he ridiculed a vain, pugnacious politician by the name of James Shields. Lincoln lampooned him through an anonymous letter published in the Springfield Journal. The town roared with laughter. Shields, sensitive and proud, boiled with indignation. He found out who wrote the letter, leaped on his horse, started after Lincoln, and challenged him to fight a duel. Lincoln didn't want to fight. He was opposed to dueling, but he couldn't get out of it and save his honor. He was given the choice of weapons. Since he had very long arms, he chose cavalry broadswords and took lessons in sword fighting from a West Point graduate; and, on the appointed day, he and Shields met on a sandbar in the Mississippi River, prepared to fight to the death; but, at the last minute, their seconds interrupted and stopped the duel.That was the most lurid personal incident in Lincoln's life. It taught him an invaluable lesson in the art of dealing with people. Never again did he write an insulting letter. Never again did he ridicule anyone. And from that time on, he almost never criticized anybody for anything.Time after time, during the Civil War, Lincoln put a new general at the head of the Army of the Potomac, and each one in turn -- McClellan, Pope, Burnside, Hooker, Meade -- blundered tragically and drove Lincoln to pacing the floor in despair. Half the nation savagely condemned these incompetent generals, but Lincoln, "with malice toward none, with charity for all," held his peace. One of his favorite quotations was "Judge not, that ye be not judged."And when Mrs. Lincoln and others spoke harshly of the southern people, Lincoln replied: "Don't criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances."Yet if any man ever had occasion to criticize, surely it was Lincoln. Let's take just one illustration:The Battle of Gettysburg was fought during the first three days of July 1863. During the night of July 4, Lee began to retreat southward while storm clouds deluged the country with rain. When Lee reached the Potomac with his defeated army, he found a swollen, impassable river in front of him, and a victorious Union Army behind him. Lee was in a trap. He couldn't escape. Lincoln saw that. Here was a golden, heaven-sent opportunity -- the opportunity to capture Lee's army and end the war immediately. So, with a surge of high hope, Lincoln ordered Meade not to call a council of war but to attack Lee immediately. Lincoln telegraphed his orders and then sent a special messenger to Meade demanding immediate action.And what did General Meade do? He did the very opposite of what he was told to do. He called a council of war in direct violation of Lincoln's orders. He hesitated. He procrastinated. He telegraphed all manner of excuses. He refused point-blank to attack Lee. Finally the waters receded and Lee escaped over the Potomac with his forces.Lincoln was furious. "What does this mean?" Lincoln cried to his son Robert. "Great God! What does this mean? We had them within our grasp, and had only to stretch forth our hands and they were ours; yet nothing that I could say or do could make the army move. Under the circumstances, almost any general could have defeated Lee. If I had gone up there, I could have whipped him myself."In bitter disappointment, Lincoln sat down and wrote Meade this letter. And remember, at this period of his life Lincoln was extremely conservative and restrained in his phraseology. So this letter coming from Lincoln in 1863 was tantamount to the severest rebuke.My dear General,I do not believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortune involved in Lee's escape. He was within our easy grasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connection with our other late successes, have ended the war. As it is, the war will be prolonged indefinitely. If you could not safely attack Lee last Monday, how can you possibly do so south of the river, when you can take with you very few -- no more than two-thirds of the force you then had in hand? It would be unreasonable to expect and I do not expect that you can now effect much. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed immeasurably because of it.What do you suppose Meade did when he read the letter?Meade never saw that letter. Lincoln never mailed it. It was found among his papers after his death.My guess is -- and this is only a guess -- that after writing that letter, Lincoln looked out of the window and said to himself, "Just a minute. Maybe I ought not to be so hasty. It is easy enough for me to sit here in the quiet of the White House and order Meade to attack; but if I had been up at Gettysburg, and if I had seen as much blood as Meade has seen during the last week, and if my ears had been pierced with the screams and shrieks of the wounded and dying, maybe I wouldn't be so anxious to attack either. If I had Meade's timid temperament, perhaps I would have done just what he had done. Anyhow, it is water under the bridge now. If I send this letter, it will relieve my feelings, but it will make Meade try to justify himself. It will make him condemn me. It will arouse hard feelings, impair all his further usefulness as a commander, and perhaps force him to resign from the army."So, as I have already said, Lincoln put the letter aside, for he had learned by bitter experience that sharp criticisms and rebukes almost invariably end in futility.Theodore Roosevelt said that when he, as President, was confronted with a perplexing problem, he used to lean back and look up at a large painting of Lincoln which hung above his desk in the White House and ask himself, "What would Lincoln do if he were in my shoes? How would he solve this problem?"The next time we are tempted to admonish somebody, let's pull a five-dollar bill out of our pocket, look at Lincoln's picture on the bill, and ask, "How would Lincoln handle this problem if he had it?"Mark Twain lost his temper occasionally and wrote letters that turned the paper brown. For example, he once wrote to a man who had aroused his ire: "The thing for you is a burial permit. You have only to speak and I will see that you get it." On another occasion he wrote to an editor about a proofreader's attempts to "improve my spelling and punctuation." He ordered: "Set the matter according to my copy hereafter and see that the proofreader retains his suggestions in the mush of his decayed brain."rdThe writing of these stinging letters made Mark Twain feel better. They allowed him to blow off steam, and the letters didn't do any real harm, because Mark Twain's wife secretly lifted them out of the mail. They were never sent.Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others -- yes, and a lot less dangerous. "Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof," said Confucius, "when your own doorstep is unclean."When I was still young and trying hard to impress people, I wrote a foolish letter to Richard Harding Davis, an author who once loomed large on the literary horizon of America. I was preparing a magazine article about authors, and I asked Davis to tell me about his method of work. A few weeks earlier, I had received a letter from someone with this notation at the bottom: "Dictated but not read." I was quite impressed. I felt that the writer must be very big and busy and important. I wasn't the slightest bit busy, but I was eager to make an impression on Richard Harding Davis, so I ended my short note with the words: "Dictated but not read."He never troubled to answer the letter. He simply returned it to me with this scribbled across the bottom: "Your bad manners are exceeded only by your bad manners." True, I had blundered, and perhaps I deserved this rebuke. But, being human, I resented it. I resented it so sharply that when I read of the death of Richard Harding Davis ten years later, the one thought that still persisted in my mind -- I am ashamed to admit -- was the hurt he had given me.If you and I want to stir up a resentment tomorrow that may rankle across the decades and endure until death, just let us indulge in a little stinging criticism -- no matter how certain we are that it is justified.When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.Bitter criticism caused the sensitive Thomas Hardy, one of the finest novelists ever to enrich English literature, to give up forever the writing of fiction. Criticism drove Thomas Chatterton, the English poet, to suicide.Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of his success? "I will speak ill of no man," he said, "...and speak all the good I know of everybody."Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain -- and most fools do.But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving."A great man shows his greatness," said Carlyle, "by the way he treats little men."Bob Hoover, a famous test pilot and frequent performer at air shows, was returning to his home in Los Angeles from an air show in San Diego. As described in the magazine Flight Operations, at three hundred feet in the air, both engines suddenly stopped. By deft maneuvering he managed to land the plane, but it was badly damaged although nobody was hurt.Hoover's first act after the emergency landing was to inspect the airplane's fuel. Just as he suspected, the World War II propeller plane he had been flying had been fueled with jet fuel rather than gasoline.Upon returning to the airport, he asked to see the mechanic who had serviced his airplane. The young man was sick with the agony of his mistake. Tears streamed down his face as Hoover approached. He had just caused the loss of a very expensive plane and could have caused the loss of three lives as well.You can imagine Hoover's anger. One could anticipate the tongue-lashing that this proud and precise pilot would unleash for that carelessness. But Hoover didn't scold the mechanic; he didn't even criticize him. Instead, he put his big arm around the man's shoulder and said, "To show you I'm sure that you'll never do this again, I want you to service my F-51 tomorrow."Often parents are tempted to criticize their children. You would expect me to say "don't." But I will not. I am merely going to say, "Before you criticize them, read one of the classics of American journalism, 'Father Forgets.'" It originally appeared as an editorial in the People's Home Journal. We are reprinting it here with the author's permission, as condensed in the Reader's Digest:"Father Forgets" is one of those little pieces which -- dashed off in a moment of sincere feeling -- strikes an echoing chord in so many readers as to become a perennial reprint favorite. Since its first appearance, "Father Forgets" has been reproduced, writes the author, W. Livingston Larned, "in hundreds of magazines and house organs, and in newspapers the country over. It has been reprinted almost as extensively in many foreign languages. I have given personal permission to thousands who wished to read it from school, church, and lecture platforms. It has been 'on the air' on countless occasions and programs. Oddly enough, college periodicals have used it, and high-school magazines. Sometimes a little piece seems mysteriously to 'click.' This one certainly did."FATHER FORGETSW. Livingston LarnedListen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive -- and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding -- this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy -- a little boy!"I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. "To know all is to forgive all."As Dr. Johnson said: "God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.."Why should you and I?Principle 1Don't criticize, condemn or complain.Copyright © 1936 by Dale Carnegie

Table of Contents


Preface to 1981 Edition by Dorothy Carnegie

How This Book Was Written -- and Why by Dale Carnegie

Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book


Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

"If You Want to Gather Honey, Don't Kick Over the Beehive"

2 The Big Secret of Dealing with People

3 "He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way"


Six Ways to Make People Like You

Do This and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere

2 A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression

3 If You Don't Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble

4 An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist

5 How to Interest People

6 How to Make People Like You Instantly


How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

You Can't Win an Argument

2 A Sure Way of Making Enemies -- and How to Avoid It

3 If You're Wrong, Admit It

4 A Drop of Honey

5 The Secret of Socrates

6 The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints

7 How to Get Cooperation

8 A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You

9 What Everybody Wants

10 An Appeal That Everybody Likes

11 The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don't You Do It?

12 When Nothing Else Works, Try This


Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin

2 How to Criticize -- and Not Be Hated for It

3 Talk About Your Own Mistakes First

4 No One Likes to Take Orders

5 Let the Other Person Save Face

6 How to Spur People On to Success

7 Give a Dog a Good Name

8 Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct

9 Making People Glad to Do What You Want

A Shortcut to Distinction by Lowell Thomas

The Dale Carnegie Courses

Other Books

My Experiences in Applying the Principles Taught in This Book


From Our Editors

For more than six decades, Dale Carnegie’s classic has helped readers improve their personal and professional lives. How to Win Friends and Influence People explains the fundamental techniques of handling people, ways to make folks like you, 12 tricks of persuasion, methods to change people without resentment and dozens of other tips for successful interpersonal relations.