The Quotable Poker Player - Funny Poker Quotes from Stud to Hold Em by Colin M JarmanThe Quotable Poker Player - Funny Poker Quotes from Stud to Hold Em by Colin M Jarman

The Quotable Poker Player - Funny Poker Quotes from Stud to Hold Em

EditorColin M Jarman

Paperback | November 5, 2010

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The Fun-Packed Book of Poker Quotes - 1500 Humorous Poker Quotations

This volume of 1500 funny poker quotes covers all aspects of poker games - online, tournament, home games, friendly and the World Series of Poker.

The Quotable Poker Player

celebrates the fun-side of poker covering the funniest poker sayings and quotations from professional players, poker stars, poker legends, poker greats, poker celebrities, authors, humorists and journalists, as well as a choice selection from film and TV characters.

A Comic Collection of 1500 Humorous Poker Quotations from Five Card Stud to No Limit Texas Hold 'em, from the World Series of Poker (WSOP) to the European Poker Tour (EPT), from Phil Hellmuth to Daniel Negreanu, from Doyle Brunson to Gus Hansen, from Victoria Coren to the Hendon Mob, from Online Poker to Home Games, from Aces & Eights to Rounders.

The Quotable Poker Player

also has special chapters on Poker Movies, Poker Books and Poker on TV, as well as a comprehensive A to Z of poker subjects from Advice to Zen Poker ... covering every angle of the poker world ...

From The Cincinnati Kid to the Poker Brat

From bad beats to Goodfellas

From Holly Madison to Phil Ivey

From home games to House of Games

From Go Fish to the Devilfish

From Poker 101 to Ocean’s 11

From green felt greenhorns to Barry Greenstein

From Poker Face [not Lady Gaga] to Poker Chips

From Texas Hold ‘em to California Split

From The Odd Couple to Phil Laak & Jennifer Tilly

From Full Tilt to Free Rolls

Title:The Quotable Poker Player - Funny Poker Quotes from Stud to Hold EmFormat:PaperbackProduct dimensions:200 pages, 6.69 × 9.61 × 0.43 inShipping dimensions:6.69 × 9.61 × 0.43 inPublished:November 5, 2010Language:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:1907338055

ISBN - 13:9781907338052


Read from the Book

READ ‘EM AND WEEP (with laughter) - The Fun-Packed Book of Poker Sayings SAMPLE QUOTATIONS & CHAPTER HEADINGS POKER IS ... "Poker is the new pornography. The Internet is awash with it … it’s banned in China and it’s full of excitable Scandinavians." Rick Dacey on (2006) "Poker is bungee jumping for the couch potato." Henry Porter in The Daily Telegraph (1995) POKER AS WARFARE "Poker is like war; there is no tomorrow. You have to pick the hill you want to defend and die trying, or be king of the hill." Johnny Hale on (2009) POKER 101 "Every bluff is now revealed as the product of untold computations, every bullying all-in raise seen for the science that it is, the arithmetic of incomplete knowledge. Unless, of course, it’s just a bad guess." Richard Hoffer in Sports Illustrated magazine (2003) "Do not raise in No-Limit Hold ‘em - especially tournaments - if there is a reasonable chance that a re-raise will make you throw up." David Sklansky, Tournament Poker for Advanced Players (2002) POKER CARDS and HANDS "The cards have no regard for sex; they’ll just as soon make a straight for a woman as a man - only it will sting worse if you have a scrotum." Michael Konik (2001) POKER GAMES "No-Limit Texas Hold ‘em may be the Cadillac of poker games, but there are plenty of other fine cars out there in the showroom." Conrad Brunner on (2006) "I played Texas Hold ‘em that night, but the only thing I was holding when I went home was my MetroCard. I had been cleaned out by men who knew how to fold early, bet strong and run the table like Rudy Giuliani runs the city." Brian Koppelman in The New York Observer (2001) POKER PLACES "The card clubs of California are vast sheds of frenetic activity filled with noise and excitement, proffering some 200 tables divided between American poker and Chinese games. They are good fun in their own way. But for true believers, Binion’s in May is better than April in Paris." David Spanier in The Independent (1995) "The Horseshoe Casino in Vegas is a ramshackle affair - deep maroon carpets, crimson upholstery and cocktail waitresses who look old enough to have served an underage Doyle Brunson his first margarita." Alex Wade (2005) W.S.O.P. "The Americans tip the odds in their own favor, with World Series tournaments like Limit Razz and Ace To Five Draw; such un-British games that they might as well be competitions to see who can name the most Texan garden centers." Victoria Coren in The Guardian (2001) POKER PEOPLE "Professional poker players make me more sick than a man taken sick on his day off. They come straight from central casting - smug, pasty faces, shades to hint at mystery, a prop (like a Stetson) to suggest menace, and supposedly sardonic dialogue plucked straight from a 50s B movie. No people look more permanently pleased with themselves than professional poker players … They are without exception so plug ugly you suspect they’ve pulled more royal flushes than women … They are the living dead, clinging desperately to an artificial image of devil-may-care recklessness forged by purely fictional characters like the Cincinnati Kid and Maverick." Derek McGovern in The Daily Mirror (2006) POKER PLAYERS "Joe Beevers and his crew, the fabled Hendon Mob, are to the card tables what the Rat Pack were to ring-a-ding-dinging." Simon Mills in The Times (2004) "Daniel Negreanu is known for his friendly and chatty nature with time for anyone but beware, whilst you’re making friends with a poker legend, he’s reading your soul!" Shaun Dean on (2010) "Clonie Gowan is articulate, thoughtful, animated, funny. And, let’s be honest, she’s beautiful, which is a pretty good weapon to bring to a table full of pale, pudgy, balding men sick to death of looking at other pale, pudgy, balding men all day." Robert Wilonsky in The Dallas Observer (2004) POKER BOOKS "Anthony Holden, author of the bestselling book about poker, Big Deal, goes out of his way to emphasize that poker is not gambling because it is a game of skill, and yet he won’t go down to the tables without wearing his lucky watch." Mike Atherton, Gambling (2006) "There is a book called How to Win the World Series of Poker by Pat Walsh, who has never won the World Series of Poker. That’s all right: Dr. Phil has a book on how to lose weight." Ken Hoffman in The Poker Gazette (2006) POKER MOVIES "Hollywood often uses gambling, and less often card playing, to add a flavor to a movie. Unfortunately most of these movies have silly scenes (House of Games) or stink (Honeymoon in Vegas) or both (Maverick)." Steve Badger on POKER ON T.V. "Be advised that a Poker Craze is sweeping the nation. Almost every night there are poker tournaments on television. And if you think that watching people play cards on television would be boring, I have three words for you: correct-o-mundo. The problem is that there's not a lot of action in televised poker, where the most strenuous thing the players do is push small plastic chips a distance of about 15 inches. (Granted, this is more action than you see in televised golf.) To make matters worse, poker players do not betray any feelings. So, most of the time what you have, visually, is a bunch of grim-faced guys sitting around a table, looking like a hemorrhoid support group." Dave Berry in The Washington Post (2004) POKER SONG "Poker Tips You Won’t Learn From Kenny Rogers #3: 'No matter how much you’re tempted, DO NOT hum or sing any portion of The Gambler by Kenny Rogers.' " Richard Roeper in The Chicago Sun-Times (2005) POKER EXTRAS [A to Z] Advice "Here’s a freebie: Don’t play poker with a kid who can read minds." James Patterson, Maximum Ride: Final Warning (2008) Zen "Poker is the ultimate Zen experience. What is the sound of one hand folding? If a player has a royal flush and nobody is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Satori comes in a pile of chips." Thomas Legendre

Editorial Reviews

"Many of the 'diamond-studded' quotes had me laughing aloud"London-born author Colin M. Jarman has had 30+ books published in North America and the UK, having written books covering such diverse subject areas as James Bond, Doctor Who, Judge Dredd, biographies, dance, science, sports, humor and quotations. The Quotable Poker Player is one of his newest books in Jarman's "quotable" series of books. The two years taken to compile the quotations for the book are evident in the painstakingly investigated material crammed between its 200 pages, which combine originality and humor in their content. The Quotable Poker Player includes quotations from the vast majority of poker players and personalities, organized in a coherent fashion. The book has a seemingly deliberate idiosyncratic ambience and the eclectic assortment of quotations impressed me greatly.The Quotable Poker Player is a superb, enjoyable reference book, which is ideal for the "pick up, put down reader", making for entertaining and amusing browsing.With a recent publication date, the content of The Quotable Poker Player is remarkably current and will provide a great read for casual players or more serious exponents of the game. Review by --------------------------------------------------------- "There are some really, really funny quotes in here"You learn the game. You play the game. You play the game online. You watch it on television. You may even read instructional books or pro player biographies. But have you ever imagined being able to quote poker? Or rather dish out famous poker quotations and quips?I admit I never really considered anyone would compile an encyclopedia of poker quotations. That is, until I received Colin M. Jarman’s The Quotable Poker Player in the mail. Essentially, The Quotable Poker Player (TQPP) is a thorough compilation of over 1500 poker quotes or attributed remarks taken from pro players, celebrities, films, historical figures, etc.Now I’m not a huge reader. Despite being an English and Theatre major in university, I have rarely found the time to pick up a book for a good read. And when I do, it’s usually related to my businesses or technical in nature. So I was understandably relieved to see that TQPP is more a reference book than a suspense-laden page-turner. But the funny thing is, once I started flipping through it… I couldn’t put it down! There are some good, funny, and smart quotations in the TQPP. And improbably, it IS a good read.I highly recommend checking out the author’s site []. If you want to preview some quotations prior to purchasing, the author’s site is peppered with interesting quotes. Overall, The Quotable Poker Player is a great flip-through-read book that makes for an interesting browse. The special treat was the movie quotes and lines that related to poker, as well as music lyrics, etc. And given the recent publication date, it’s pretty up-to-date with 2009 and 2010 references.Review by Andrew Kicak on