The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Whiny Unfed by Mike SpohrThe Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Whiny Unfed by Mike Spohr

The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Whiny Unfed

byMike Spohr, Heather Spohr

Paper over Board | August 1, 2017

Pricing and Purchase Info


Earn 120 plum® points

Prices and offers may vary in store


In stock online

Ships free on orders over $25

Available in stores


Get the baby gates, lock the cupboards, and load up Elmo's Song, toddlers are on the loose. The Toddler Survival Guide is here to get you to the other side.

Toddlers and zombies
both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler's case), and--upon entering your life--leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived.

The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brooks's The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler ("Elmo's Song," mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler--or you--bursting into tears.

Chapters include: Preparing the Home for a Toddler Invasion, Communicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation.

Mike Spohr is an editor at BuzzFeed, where he runs the Parents and Family vertical. He is notorious for his love of Diet Coke, the Beatles, and the San Francisco Giants, but loves his wife, kids, and dog even more. Follow him on Twitter @TheNewBornIdenityHeather Spohr started blogging on a whim back in 2002. She's since blogged through...
Title:The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Whiny UnfedFormat:Paper over BoardProduct dimensions:192 pages, 8.38 × 5.38 × 0.88 inShipping dimensions:8.38 × 5.38 × 0.88 inPublished:August 1, 2017Publisher:Voyageur PressLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0760352194

ISBN - 13:9780760352199


Editorial Reviews

Your toddler will try to destroy you, but thanks to this guide you will always have the upper hand. The world needs this book!
- Mary Ann Zoellner, Emmy Award winning producer of NBC The Today Show