Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love

Paperback | April 1, 1997

byRobert Karen

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The struggle to understand the infant-parent bond ranks as one of the great quests of modern psychology, one that touches us deeply because it holds so many clues to how we become who we are. How are our personalities formed? How do our early struggles with our parents reappear in the way werelate to others as adults? Why do we repeat with our own children--seemingly against our will--the very behaviors we most disliked about our parents? In Becoming Attached, psychologist and noted journalist Robert Karen offers fresh insight into some of the most fundamental and fascinatingquestions of emotional life. Karen begins by tracing the history of attachment theory through the controversial work of John Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst, and Mary Ainsworth, an American developmental psychologist, who together launched a revolution in child psychology. Karen tells about their personal and professionalstruggles, their groundbreaking discoveries, and the recent flowering of attachment theory research in universities all over the world, making it one of the century's most enduring ideas in developmental psychology. In a world of working parents and makeshift day care, the need to assess the impact of parenting styles and the bond between child and caregiver is more urgent than ever. Karen addresses such issues as: What do children need to feel that the world is a positive place and that they have value?Is day care harmful for children under one year? What experiences in infancy will enable a person to develop healthy relationships as an adult?, and he demonstrates how different approaches to mothering are associated with specific infant behaviors, such as clinginess, avoidance, or secureexploration. He shows how these patterns become ingrained and how they reveal themselves at age two, in the preschool years, in middle childhood, and in adulthood. And, with thought-provoking insights, he gives us a new understanding of how negative patterns and insecure attachment can be changedand resolved throughout a person's life. The infant is in many ways a great mystery to us. Every one of us has been one; many of us have lived with or raised them. Becoming Attached is not just a voyage of discovery in child emotional development and its pertinence to adult life but a voyage of personal discovery as well, for it isimpossible to read this book without reflecting on one's own life as a child, a parent, and an intimate partner in love or marriage.

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From Our Editors

In this "provocative primer on the nature versus nurture debate" ("Mirabella"), psychologist and noted journalist Robert Karen offers fresh insights into some of the most fundamental questions of emotional life. He traces the history of attachment theory through the controversial work of John Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst, and Mary A...

From the Publisher

The struggle to understand the infant-parent bond ranks as one of the great quests of modern psychology, one that touches us deeply because it holds so many clues to how we become who we are. How are our personalities formed? How do our early struggles with our parents reappear in the way werelate to others as adults? Why do we repe...

Robert Karen is a clinical psychologist in private practice and an award-winning author. In addition to two previous books, he has written articles for The Atlantic, New York magazine, Mirabella, The Nation, and The Yale Review. He is Assistant Clinical Professor at the Derner Institute of Advance Psychological Studies, Adelphi Uni...

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Kobo ebook|Dec 18 2015

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Format:PaperbackDimensions:512 pages, 5.91 × 9.02 × 1.42 inPublished:April 1, 1997Publisher:Oxford University Press

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0195115015

ISBN - 13:9780195115017

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Customer Reviews of Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love

Reviews

Rated 4 out of 5 by from Fascinating Read I am not a parent or a psychologist, but I found this book to be a fascinating read. It goes back to the roots of attachment theory, and traces the theories to the present. It is not purely academic, and Karen has a lot of real-life examples to help those who are not psychologists to understand. I did find some of the history a bit too detailed for my taste though, and had to take a long break in the middle of reading it. That being said, I think anyone who is interested in people, and what motivates them should pick up this book.
Date published: 2010-01-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Thought provoking This was a fascinating look into the growth of attachment theory and it's founders. What a wonderful world we'd live in if every child's parents read this book.
Date published: 2010-01-15
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Excellent book everyone should read Excellent book , everyone who has a baby and/or children or is planning on having a baby should read this book ! This is by far one of the best books I have read in a long time. I am going to give this book as a gift to any one I know expecting a baby.
Date published: 2005-12-05

Extra Content

From Our Editors

In this "provocative primer on the nature versus nurture debate" ("Mirabella"), psychologist and noted journalist Robert Karen offers fresh insights into some of the most fundamental questions of emotional life. He traces the history of attachment theory through the controversial work of John Bowlby, a British psychoanalyst, and Mary Ainsworth, an American developmental psychologist, who together launched a revolution in child psychology

Editorial Reviews

"Eminently readable, long needed, excellent both as a history of attachment research and a history of social science understanding."--Linda Sperry, Indiana State University