Crooked Little Vein: A Novel

Kobo ebook | March 17, 2009

byWarren Ellis

not yet rated|write a review

Burned-out private dick Michael McGill needs to jump-start his career. What he gets instead is a cattle prod to the crotch. The president's heroin-addicted chief of staff wants McGill to find the Constitution—the real one the Founding Fathers secretly devised for the time of gravest crisis. And with God, civility, and Mom's homemade apple pie already dead or dying, that time is now. But McGill has a talent for stumbling into every imaginable depravity—and this case is driving him even deeper into America's darkest, dankest underbelly, toward obscenities that boggle even his mind.

Pricing and Purchase Info


Available for download
Not available in stores

From the Publisher

Burned-out private dick Michael McGill needs to jump-start his career. What he gets instead is a cattle prod to the crotch. The president's heroin-addicted chief of staff wants McGill to find the Constitution—the real one the Founding Fathers secretly devised for the time of gravest crisis. And with God, civility, and Mom's homemade ap...

Format:Kobo ebookPublished:March 17, 2009Publisher:HarperCollinsLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0061740977

ISBN - 13:9780061740978

Look for similar items by category:


Rated 4 out of 5 by from A laugh out loud romp Ellis is frankly and outrageously disgusted with the moral decline of society, but spins a good tale and is reminiscent of Dave Barry in his delivery and wit. He seems to have a great time shocking while also greatly entertaining his readers.
Date published: 2014-11-16
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Brilliant Great pace, brilliantly observed, funny, generally a great read.
Date published: 2013-07-04
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Perverts ahoy. Anyone who's read anything by Warren Ellis knows what to expect when they pick up one of his books. And yet, I was still laughing hysterically with surprise and gleeful horror at the things that manage to come from his fantastic, twisted mind. I can't wait for Ellis' next foray into novels.
Date published: 2009-10-01
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Reader Response Book Review Questionnaire What led you to pick up this book? --- Crooked Little Vein was included at my library in a local feature where library workers choose their favourite titles. I had seen this featured on many lists so I decided to check it out. What did you like most about the book? --- This book is filled with lewd people, disgusting sexual practices and disturbing perversions ... that all are probably pretty easy to find in our society, which is even more shocking. But the thing that I liked is how Ellis managed to place these things into everyday life and find the humour behind it. Because every once in awhile, amidst the daily horrors we see on CNN and local news, you've got to just take a breath and laugh. What did you like least? --- It was way too short - I am hoping that we will see McGill return in a sequel. He would make the perfect main character for a detective series. What did you think of the writing style? --- I loved the style of writing in Crooked Little Vein. It was rough, blunt and to the point, which was perfect for the story. The pacing was also a key ingredient, as it pulls the reader along on the speeding fast journey of the main character. Which readers are most likely to enjoy this book? Why? --- This would be easier if I said who I don't think would enjoy this book. If you are not interested in graphic descriptions of sex, profanity, insanity or a negative view of American politics - you should probably stay away. Also if you don't want to read about Godzilla Bukkake or you are scared to find out what that is - you should probably read something else. Have you read any other books by this author? What did you think of those books? --- Warren Ellis is an amazing comic book/graphic novel author and I have enjoyed his Transmetropolitan series and his various contributions to the X-Men comics. Crooked Little Vein is my first read of his novels, but I will be looking forward to more, What did you think of the main character? --- I adored the main character, private detective Michael McGill. He is the type of guy that knows his life sucks, his luck sucks and whatever bad things can happen - will happen. But he takes it all in stride and doesn't give up, he just shrugs it off with dark humour and a "what did I expect?" attitude. Any other particularly interesting characters? --- His partner Trix, is very likable, if weird. Also the many people he meets on his journey are incredibly interesting, although even weirder. The saline-addicted body builders were hilarious as was the serial killer, who I would love to hear more about. Write about the relationship between two characters. --- Michael and Trix decide to join together as partners, along the way their relationship changes many times, but the chemistry between them, whether romantic or otherwise, is always very strong. I really enjoyed seeing how each experience they had together changed them as people. Share a quote from the book: --- This quote is a description that was given about the specific book that Michael McGill was hired to find. I laughed so much after reading this. “It is a small, handwritten volume reputedly bound in the skin of the extraterrestrial entity that plagued Benjamin Franklin’s @ss over 6 nights in Paris during his European travels. Benjamin Franklin wasn’t some nancy-boy novelist who wrote sensitive books about aliens sticking things up his rectum, you know. On the seventh night he got right up and killed the little b@st@rd with one punch” Share a favourite scene from the book: --- My favourite scene from Crooked Little Vein is when Michael and Trix meet with the bodybuilders to find a lead. Normally a detective needs to exchange something for information, but this time he is forced to accept something if he plans to get the information he wants. What he gets and how he gets it are achingly funny. What's more hilarious about this particular scene is how he reacts afterwards while running (make that shuffling) to his car. Do you recommend this book? If you use a rating system, what’s your rating? --- I would recommend this book as it was a very enjoyable, fun read. But again, I must say it is not a read for the sensitive or easily offended. If you aren't put off by Chuck Palahniuk or if you enjoy his shocking satire, then you'll probably also enjoy Crooked Little Vein. Below all of the shocking images and descriptions there is a very strong message about how our society has changed (for better or for worse?) and where the lines need to be drawn in order for humanity to remain human.
Date published: 2008-12-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Caveat Emptor IF you are up to it, this is a great read. This is 'the detective novel' taken someplace it has never gone before - the result is hilarious, disturbing and "impossible to put down." It's not lengthy (277 sparse pages) and flows at a furious pace. I had it finished within about 24 hours of purchasing it. It's difficult to come up with a comparison; Hunter Thompson and William Burroughs are about all I can think of. Imagine what might have happened had Raymond Chandler experimented with hallucinogenic substances and there you go. The premise is brilliant: the protagonist is hired by the heroin-addled White house Chief of Staff to locate and secure the Second Constitution - the one with the 23 'Invisible Amendments.' Possession of same would allow the administration to return America to the societal values intended by the forefathers. What happens along the way is weird and wonderful, if bukkake, scatological references, 'testicular saline infusion fetishists,' and well... a lot of other strange occurrences won't upset you. Ultimately, it is an Outsider's perspective on the ruination of the American Empire. If you think the U.S. is 'going to hell in a hand basket' (seems like it) and things are only going to get worse (can you say 'President John McCain') and yet still have a sense of humor about it, then this is the book for you. I agree with the review that prognosticates it is destined to be one of the great underground classics of the 21st Century. It's a beautiful mess. If you liked the Da Vinci Code...well, you are probably going to hate this. Just skip it - read the comics in your local newspaper instead or go watch Reality TV. You'll be happier and so will the rest of us. It's best that our paths never cross.
Date published: 2008-07-24