Difficult Mothers: Understanding And Overcoming Their Power by Terri ApterDifficult Mothers: Understanding And Overcoming Their Power by Terri Apter

Difficult Mothers: Understanding And Overcoming Their Power

byTerri Apter

Paperback | May 14, 2013

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Mother love is often seen as sacred, but for many children the relationship is a painful struggle. Using the newest research on human attachment and brain development, Terri Apter, an internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer, unlocks the mysteries of this complicated bond. She showcases the five different types of difficult mother—the angry mother, the controlling mother, the narcissistic mother, the envious mother, and the emotionally neglectful mother—and explains the patterns of behavior seen in each type. Apter also explores the dilemma at the heart of a difficult relationship: why a mother has such a powerful impact on us and why we continue to care about her responses long after we have outgrown our dependence. She then shows how we can conduct an “emotional audit” on ourselves to overcome the power of the complex feelings a difficult mother inflicts. In the end this book celebrates the great resilience of sons and daughters of difficult mothers as well as acknowledging their special challenges.
Terri Apter is a writer, psychologist, and retired Fellow of Newnham College, Cambridge. Her nine books include The Sister Knot and What Do You Want from Me? She lives in Cambridge, England.
Title:Difficult Mothers: Understanding And Overcoming Their PowerFormat:PaperbackDimensions:256 pages, 8.2 × 5.49 × 0.59 inPublished:May 14, 2013Publisher:WW NortonLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0393345440

ISBN - 13:9780393345445

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Rated 5 out of 5 by from Thank-you for writing this book! This book talks about the other type of mother, one that I grew up with. While most of the things were things I had learned on my own, it was great to have a Doc sum it up and let me know that I'm 1. not crazy and 2. not alone. There are also some things that I had yet to realize on my own. So by reading and reflecting (and highlighting like mad) I was able to come to terms with them and the damage in my life without more years going by (because it takes years to see this stuff on your own). She also talks about the good things we learn from having a crap mom. It was nice to learn that my childhood wasn't all for not...big thanks to Dr. Apter for writing this book...she is bang on! If you have a not so perfect mom, do yourself a favor and read this book.
Date published: 2017-12-10
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Pretty Good I am glad I read this book, but there wasn't much "earth-shattering" new information in it. However it did help me to understand a lot about myself as a child, an adult, and a relationship with a very difficult mother.
Date published: 2017-09-01
Rated 3 out of 5 by from helpful and easy to read This book was a great quick read to give me a bit of insight into my only challenging relationship with my mother. I found i was a bit disappointed because my mother didn't fit in to any of the categories talked about in the book. I suppose she is her own thing. That isnt a criticism of the writing, more just of my mind set before reading thing. I was hoping for more concrete advice on my personal situation. However this book had good information and helped me with some perspective and ideas on how to challenge and change my current patterns of thought #plumreview
Date published: 2017-05-20

Editorial Reviews

The most intelligent and lucid account I’ve read of human psychology. — Carol GilliganApter . . . risks the wrath of anyone who romanticizes ‘mother love’ as instinctual and universal by describing, candidly and cogently, the framework in which children experience their most significant attachment. — Huffington PostThis sound, intelligent book is a good starting point for a self-examination. — Publishers WeeklyApter’s advice will help readers make sense of difficult mother-child relationships and develop strategies for reshaping responses and expectations. . . . Anyone with a problematic maternal relationship will find empathy and therapeutic approaches for healing. — Library Journal