English As A Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively, Explained in Detail with Numerous Examples Taken From Everyday Life by Sterling JohnsonEnglish As A Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively, Explained in Detail with Numerous Examples Taken From Everyday Life by Sterling Johnson

English As A Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively, Explained in Detail with Numerous…

bySterling Johnson

Paperback | June 15, 1996

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In the English language, swearing is essential to effective communication. In this hilarious and illuminating guide, you will learn just how to do it - no f*cking problem.

Whether you want to succeed in business, school, or social circles, a strong command of vocabulary is absolutely necessary. Just imagine a stranger to our shores, trying to comprehend the following conversation:

John: Mary, would you like to attend the opera this evening?
Mary: F*cking-A. should I wear my black dress?
John: Why the f*ck not?
Mary: F*cked if I know-Oh, f*ck! I just remembered. It got f*cked up in the wash.
John: Well, f*ck the opera. Let's stay home and f*ck.
Mary: Good f*cking idea.

English as a Second F*cking Language (ESF*L) is the perfect way for nonnative speakers to learn the basics of swearing. At the same time, it also offers native speakers a wide variety of twists and new refinements. Page after page, ESF*L provides a smorgasbord of swearing synonyms designed to boost your vocabulary-everything from the conventional d*mn and sh*t to a host of more inventive terms that would make any truck driver blush. And when you're finished reading, our Final F*cking Exam is the perfect test of your swearing skills. You'll be surprised by how much you've learned!

"Great f*cking book!" -Stephen King

World-renowned for his innovative lectures and workshops, Professor Sterling Johnson has been teaching English as a second language for over twenty years. He now lives in Pacific Grove, California, where he enjoys a "nice f*cking day" as much as the next fellow.
Title:English As A Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively, Explained in Detail with Numerous…Format:PaperbackDimensions:96 pages, 7.99 × 4.52 × 0.29 inPublished:June 15, 1996Publisher:St. Martin's Press

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:031214329X

ISBN - 13:9780312143299

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Rated 4 out of 5 by from A Must-Have for Language Learners As an ESL teacher, you'd be hard pressed to find a textbook that teaches you how to use or recognize profanity. To many of my students, when they left their home countries and went abroad, they were surprised, embarrassed and confused when they encountered this part of the language. They couldn't understand or participate in this aspect of Western culture, and were humiliated when they said "thank you" if someone cursed at them. This textbook was a great little going away present for them. It shows you how to use every level of profanity in its every context- to the friendly, to the defensive and insulting. It also organizes the profanity into "outdated" uses to avoid, and the most common in the language. The examples are fabulous and easy to understand. A short, concise, and entertaining read, it's a must-have for any ESL student or second language learner who needs to acquaint themselves with this part of the English language.
Date published: 2008-01-19

Read from the Book

English as a Second F*cking LanguageFUCKFuck is the mother of all words. Short and effective, it gets to the root of creation.The euphemisms for fuck are cumbersome and inexact. One example will make our point: example: Some Romeo! What a namby-pamby mouthful! In the time it takes to say it, you could fuck a half-dozen times. Fuck is sometime called the F-Word. Avoid that term. Just say fuck. fuckThe word's meaning, both as noun and verb, is sexual and positive. However, many of its extended, nonsexual meanings can be negative.example:Sigmund: How come you're mad at Carl?Rudolph: The no-good fuck fucked me out of ten dollars.fuck aroundThis sometimes means to fuck people other than your mate. It can also mean to engage in idle fun.example:fuck itThe non-sexual meaning is similar to "the hell with it." It's a useful term for dismissing nonessential or irrelevant matters.example:fuck upAs a noun, fuck-up refers to a botched situation or an incompetent person. As a verb, fuck up refers to the action that caused it.example: Fuck you!This is one of the most useful phrases in the lexicon of swears. It eliminates the need to argue--or even reason--with people whose purposes or opinions are different from your own.example:(NOTE: Marcel's words are italicized to indicate that he is acting them out rather than speaking them.)example:EQUIVALENTS OF FUCKThere are a number of equivalents for the word fuck. Our panel sees no need for them, but we offer a few for informational purposes.VERBSballThis comes from the expression "to have a ball"--a good time. The "ball" in this case refers to a gala event, not a testicle. However, in order to ball, you need to have the testicular type of ball. You only need one, but two is the norm.example: bangOf the many aggressive words for fuck, this is the most common. Others include boff and thump.examples:dickThis term comes from the tool used in the act.example: get it, etc.Combinations with get that mean fuck include: get a little, get in, get it, get it on, get laid, get some, and get your ashes hauled.hide the weenieThis is a jocular way to say fuck. Avoid it.layThis is a mild term for fuck, and a common one. It's based on the strange idea that people always lay down to fuck (see basket fuck in the IDIOMS section).screwExcept in a basket fuck (see the IDIOMS section) there is no actual rotation involved. Like fuck, screw can have a negative, non-sexual meaning.example:NOUNSlay fuck piece of ass quickie  FUCK ANALYSISNight at the Opera1. Fucking-A: This is a strong affirmation.2. the fuck: This is an intensifier.3. Fucked: This is short for "I'll be fucked if I know," which has nothing to do with actual fucking. It's the equivalent of "I'll be damned if I know," which has nothing to do with damnation. In other words: "I don't know."4. Oh, fuck! This is an interjection. The Oh isn't necessary; Fuck! by itself is a complete interjection.5. fucked up: This means damaged.6. fuck: Here, fuck is used in a negative sense, similar to, "The hell with the opera."7. fuck: Here, fuck is used in its primary sense.8. fucking: A novice might think the intended meaning is: "This is a good idea about fucking." In fact fucking in the sexual sense isn't intended; the word is merely an intensifier. And a fucking good one at that.  Copyright © 1995 by Sterling Johnson. All rights reserved.

From Our Editors

In English, swearing is essential to effective communication. Whether one wants to succeed in business, school, or social circles, a strong command of unprintable language is absolutely necessary. Employing a helpful "Need to Know", "Nice to Know", and "Forget It" system for identifying swear words, English as a Second Fcking Language offers an informative--and funny--look at taboo words and expressions to boost readers' vocabularies

Editorial Reviews

"Great f*cking book!" -Stephen King