Fashionably Dead In Diapers by Robyn PetermanFashionably Dead In Diapers by Robyn Peterman

Fashionably Dead In Diapers

byRobyn PetermanRead byJessica Almasy

Audio Book (CD) | September 27, 2016

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And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard.... That's nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren't any books on raising True Immortals, so let me give you a few tips....

Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion, and a map will help if you have only seven minutes and 31 seconds. You're welcome.

Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/half Demon, I would suggest not using parenting books at all - they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this.

Have sex.

When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Oftentimes your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy, it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home, and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances.

Have sex again.

When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid, you could consider putting a chip in your child. If you do this, don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird.

At least cuddle.

Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist.

Find a closet, and go to town.

NYT and USA Today best selling author, Robyn Peterman, writes because the people inside of her head won’t leave her alone until she gives them life on paper. She writes snarky, sexy, funny paranormal and snarky, sexy, funny contemporaries.Her addictions include laughing really hard with friends, shoes (the expensive kind), Target, Coke...
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Title:Fashionably Dead In DiapersFormat:Audio Book (CD)Dimensions:6.75 × 5.25 × 0.5 inPublished:September 27, 2016Publisher:Brilliance AudioLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:1536607746

ISBN - 13:9781536607741

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