If I Only Had a Brain by Dennis Globus

If I Only Had a Brain

byDennis Globus

Kobo ebook | February 4, 2014

Pricing and Purchase Info


Prices and offers may vary in store

Available for download

Not available in stores


The author was shoved into the workforce at age five, and he's had some of the most bizarre jobs ever since (such as dressing as the Scarecrow and singing for Judy Garland, auditioning for The Dating Game while on LSD, and running a projector at a porn theater owned by a rabbi). Fans of David Sedaris will love “If I Only Had a Brain,” a collection of gems that takes you through one hilarious work-related misadventure after another.

Dennis Globus happens to have a style that I'm particularly fond of, with an easy to read, well-structured, fascinating story that can be enjoyed purely on that level alone — but upon reflection, actually has  connections and parallels throughout which give it depth. It's like he knows he’s smart, but is comfortable with how smart he is not to have to prove it, but it's clearly there. In his book If I Only Had a Brain, Dennis exposed me to, among other things, sticky floors in porn theaters, acid trips, and syphilis. He has managed to write about almost every topic or image I have spent years trying to repress or forget. If he were one of my kids, I would so punish him for doing this. Instead, I'll just blame him for having the nerve to write a book so unique, well-crafted, and hilarious that I found it almost impossible to put down.

- Emily Colas, author of “Just Checking”

Title:If I Only Had a BrainFormat:Kobo ebookPublished:February 4, 2014Publisher:Dennis GlobusLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:



Rated 5 out of 5 by from When God told Adam that he would have to go it "By the sweat of his brow", he probably did not forsee the possibility of Dennis Globus coming along. If He did see this in advance, then He has quite a sense of humor. "If I Only Had a Brain" is laugh-out-loud, totally unpredictable, and autobiographical to boot. This author writes well. He can turn a phrase in so many surprising ways, I found myself re-reading pages just to be sure to catch any I might have missed. Great idea for reading on holiday, and if you're not on vacation, this is the next best thing. It's in rare company, among the funniest books I've read !
Date published: 2014-06-04