In The Name of Love: Romantic ideology and its victims by Aaron Ben-Zeev

In The Name of Love: Romantic ideology and its victims

byAaron Ben-Zeev, Ruhama Goussinsky

Hardcover | February 21, 2008

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"Because of love I killed her... if I didn't love her, I don't think I would feel so much pain... It's like she took an arrow and stabbed me in the heart." "I knew that it was going to happen. I told her there would be a disaster... that I would take out myself or I'd take her out. Leave me alone. Go away. Leave me alone. Go away." We yearn to experience the idealized love depicted in so many novels, movies, poems and popular songs. Ironically, it is the idealization of love that arms it with its destructive power. Popular media consistently remind us that love is all we need, but statistics concerning the rate of depressionand suicides after divorce or romantic break up remind us what might happen if "all we need" is taken away. This book is about our ideals of love, our experiences of love the actual disparity between the two and how we cope with this disparity. A major case study featured in the book concerns men who have murdered their wives or partners allegedly 'out of love'. It is estimated that over 30% of all female murder victims in the United States die at the hands of a former or present spouse or boyfriend. How can murdering a loved one beassociated with the supposedly moral and altruistic emotion of love? Not only is love intrinsically ambivalent, but it can also give rise to dangerous consequences. Some of the worst evils have been committed in the name of love. A unique collaboration between a leading philosopher in the field of emotions and a social scientist, In The Name of Love presents fascinating insights into romantic love and its future in modern society.

About The Author

Professor Aaron Ben-Ze'ev, the President of the University of Haifa, is Professor of Philosophy. He earned his doctorate at the University of Chicago (1981). He has served as Rector, Dean of Research, Chairperson of the Department of Philosophy, Head of the Haifa University Press, and Head of the Academic Channel. His research focuses...
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Title:In The Name of Love: Romantic ideology and its victimsFormat:HardcoverDimensions:260 pages, 9.21 × 6.14 × 0.83 inPublished:February 21, 2008Publisher:Oxford University PressLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0198566492

ISBN - 13:9780198566496

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Table of Contents

Introduction - "I want to know what love is"1. Romantic ideology - "If you love someone"2. Love at breaking point - "What have I got to do to make you love me?"3. The ambivalent nature of romantic love - "What is this thing called love?"4. Understanding wife killing - "See you at the bitter end"5. Boundaries of the possible - "Never give up on a good thing"6. Structural difficulties in romantic love - "Hard times for lovers"7. Romantic compromises and accommodations - "You've got to take the bitter with the sweet"8. The nurturing approach to love - "We walk in the dream, but dream no more"

Editorial Reviews

"There have been quite a few books on love recently - we're talking romantic love, erotic love, passionate love - and some have been very good. This book by Aaron Ben-Ze'ev and Ruhama Goussinsky may be the best yet. It starts with the longings that so many people experience, it acknowledges the altruism of love, and it takes in interviews with men who murdered their wives. This perspective, beautifully written, and fascinating book will make you think."--Keith Oatley, University of Toronto, author of Emotions: A Brief History "The authors have stripped bare the paradoxes at the heart of our ideals of romantic love. They begin by showing that wife-killers talk just like saccharine pop tunes about love eternal, and that their crime is more than the unfortunate effect of escalating passion. Instead, murder in the name of love stems from a kind of fundamentalism in the ideology of love. This is a shockingly fresh take on an ancient topic, and it makes for a fascinating read. In a time when the possibility of enduring romantic relationships has deteriorated, In the Name of Love offers a novel account of the ideology of romantic love, its surprising staying power, and the prospects for its recuperation."--Ronald de Sousa, University of Toronto "Were we lied to by our love songs? Philosopher Aaron Ben Ze'ev and Ruhama Goussinsky look at the contemporary beliefs about romantic love that saturate our poems, movies, books and minds; then they show us the true face of this intoxicating, yet extreme, sometimes even murderous, emotion. Their aims: to revise our basic attitudes about this primordial feeling; to reveal it's power and it's danger; and to offer a new approach tounderstanding, getting and giving love. It's educated, realistic and smart."--Helen Fisher PhD, Research Professor, Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University, and author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love