How I Lost You by Janet GurtlerHow I Lost You by Janet Gurtler

How I Lost You

byJanet Gurtler

Paperback | April 23, 2013

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I always thought we'd be friends to the end." Grace and Kya always do everything together, and nothing can get in the way of their friendship. They have a pact: Sisters Before Misters. Buds Before Studs. Only Grace knows what Kya's been through, or how much she needs someone to stick by her. No matter what. Besides, Kya keeps life exciting-pulling Grace into things she'd never dare to do on her own. But inch by inch, daring is starting to turn dangerous. And Grace will have to decide how far she can go to save her friendship with Kya? before she ends up losing everything else. "Fascinating and unique."-Jennifer Brown, author of Hate List, on Who I Kissed "Gurtler handles complex issues of friendship and fidelity with laugh-out-loud humor and engaging frankness."-RT Book Reviews, on If I Tell "Gurtler's writing unfurls with the exquisite grace of a flower."-Sarah Ockler, bestselling author of Fixing Delilah and Twenty Boy Summer on I'm Not Her"
Janet Gurtler lives in Calgary, Canada with her husband and son and a puppy blessed with cuteness rather than brains. Janet does not live in an Igloo or play hockey, but she does love maple syrup and says eh" a lot. Visit"
Title:How I Lost YouFormat:PaperbackDimensions:320 pages, 8.25 × 5.5 × 0.85 inPublished:April 23, 2013Publisher:SourcebooksLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:1402277946

ISBN - 13:9781402277948


Rated 4 out of 5 by from One of my favourite young adult authors Buds before studs. That's the motto that has been Grace and Kya's motto, they've been best friends for many years and share everything including their serious love of paintball. They've planned their future to include a future with college and playing paintball on a team. But how much is too much to accept from a friend? Grace is always there for Kya, many times at a personal sacrifice but is Kya there for Grace in the same way? Because of Kya's history and their being best friends so long, Grace accepts actions and behaviours that are more and more hurtful and destructive. She has always made excuses for the things Kya has done until now when she's struggling to hold on to her best friend but knowing it isn't in her best interests. When is it okay to let go of a friendship? Sometimes we let history or other factors dictate the rules and losing a friend is hard; you have such a history of memories and swore you'd be bff's forever but (and I have to say I hated that whole but/butt thing and the amount of times someone gave the finger was getting old) sometimes you don't make it to forever. People change and grow, when friendships become one sided, or destructive, or dangerous, it's no longer the friendship it was and cutting ties altogether is often better. Grace's mother compared it to the death of a loved one and that there is a grieving process that follows, yet I think it's sometimes harder as that person is still around, it's hard to let to go of the hope that they will change or they will be back the way they used to be. I really liked James, I would love a friend like him and while he may not get all he wants in a relationship with Grace, their friendship is more honest and sincere and I think realistically they could go from a threesome to two. I also liked Grace's parents, down to earth and pretty cool parents but not too cool. They still had guidelines and rules Grace and her brother Indie were expected to follow and they had so much concern for what was happening in their children's lives. This book is a pretty quick read, mostly the story of the friendship of Grace and Kya, with a little sweet romance thrown in. There is a lot of talk about paintball but not a lot of details that will bore the reader. I have read a lot of Janet Gurtler's books and can say she is definitely one of my favourite teen/young adult authors. She's light on the romance with some very real and relevant issues. I have enjoyed them all.
Date published: 2015-11-16
Rated 4 out of 5 by from A wonderful Canadian talent! Thank you to Raincoast Books & NetGalley for sending me an eCopy of this book for review! Janet Gurtler is constantly surprising me. I discovered her work last year and fell in love with her writing — and then I realized that she lives only a few hours away from me! It was wonderful to find such a talented author in my home province. Of course, now whenever I see her books, I jump at the chance to read them! At first, I was a little confused because the main characters, Grace and Kya, were playing paintball — I really didn’t read much into the story before I started actually reading the story, so it was kind of neat to have two professional paintball players. It’s not something I see that much in books that have a sporting angle. I did really like Grace and Kya, though I probably liked Grace a little bit more. I found Kya was really hard to like and even though she had been through certain things in her life, it was hard to like her only for that reason. A thing that I liked in this story was the main theme — Grace and Kya’s relationship. We’ve all had best friends and it’s interesting to see that relationship where two people have been friends forever, not only growing up together but going through horrible events together. The question that the story seems to ask is whether that’s enough to maintain a friendship. At what point do two people decide to not be friends anymore? Especially when they’re drifting apart? I felt like this was very well told and I was so torn at certain parts of the story on whether or not the friendship should continue. I felt like I was part of the decision process and I didn’t want to do it. One thing that Janet Gurtler writes very well is the family dynamic. Unlike a lot of YA books where the family, mainly the parental units, are pretty much absent, Gurtler’s characters have family and they’re very prominent in the book. Grace’s parents come up a lot in the story, with them knowing about Kya’s circumstances, and James — Grace and Kya’s best friend — has a mother with MS. It’s nice to see that the characters are close with their families, and that they have problems with their families. It seems to be much more realistic than having parental figures that never seem to make an appearance. I feel like I’ve definitely found a favourite author in Janet Gurtler. She does have quite the catalogue that I still have to make my way through, but I look forward to seeing what she comes up with next. At this rate, she can only get better and better!
Date published: 2013-08-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Story/Message In How I Lost You by Janet Gurtler created this amazing book about friendships, romance the the true meaning of finding who you want to be and the meanings of being a friend. In this powerful story about friendship, Grace and Kya are best friends who do everything together, with their one rule that friends come first. Janet tells a beautiful story with a powerful message that a lot of people can relate to. Grace is fun character who I liked from the very beginning. Her love for paintball is another thing I like about her because she has so much passion for this sport as well as it deals with her friendship with Kya. Grace acted like herself and is happy with who she is as a teenager. Kya made me want to hit her sometimes for her stupid moments, but understanding her story, I felt bad for what happened. With that almost near the end she drove me crazy. She was unstable and never actually dealt with her issues and disasters she created. As we become older, some friends disconnect with you for reasons like being busy, but when you stop talking automatically you know that friendship has changed. I felt like Grace most of the time. Grace actually gets to fall in love with Levi who was the sweets character ever! He is shy and sweet. Without him Grace would have never been able to stand up to Kya for all her mistakes in there friendship. Levi really was an important character, as is that the romance was not the main focus. The ending was perfect and I could have not been happier for Grace! Gurtler is a great writer who knows how to place a topic that has so much meaning. You will definitely fall in love with this book! Contemporary novels are one of my favorites that show a lot of control and are different. I will for sure be reading more of Janet's books!!
Date published: 2013-05-28
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Light and serious, a great combination! This is the first time I've read one of Janet Gurtler's books and I have to say that I was very happy with it. I have seen them around a lot and they looked good, I just didn't get a chance to try one until now. I'm glad I read this one because it does deal with a pretty heavy topic, rape, but at the same time, it was a light, quick read. I really liked that about it. Gurtler's writing style really appealed to me and I really liked how she could make me feel about the characters. The character building is great and you really learn to sympathise with them. The protagonist is Grace, she's a paintballer with ambitions of going pro. She takes a lot of crap from the guys who think that it's not a sport for girls, so she has to be extra tough. She is fine with it though because she has her BFF Kya right there with her, kicking the boys butts. Together they are unstoppable on the field. Kya has a secret that Grace keeps for her, even from their other BFF James. Grace always sticks up for Kya, someone needs to and she just feels bad for her. I felt bad for her in the beginning too. Kya was raped and the guy got off with a slap on the wrist. Unfortunately, I know that's how those types of things work. Most times girls don't even report rapes because you are just going to suffer more than you already are and somehow they feel like it's their fault. So yes, I felt bad for her. However, this happened four years ago and while I know it can take a long time for these traumas to heal, Kya was completely using it as a crutch to get whatever she wanted. She always guilted Grace into doing things for her and Grace's life was suffering for it. So as the book went on, I began to despise Kya. She used guys, James hated her, drunk and just seemed to not care in general about anything. They had a very toxic friendship and I was waiting the whole time for Grace to finally stand up to her. Despite my growing dislike of Kya, I still really enjoyed this book and the lightish writing style. I was able to read it quite quickly, barely pausing to put it down because I was just waiting for that moment when Grace would finally realise that Kya was bad for her. I also didn't realise that paint ball was a sport that people played professionally, so that was very interesting. I don't know much about it, so I got to learn a bit while reading. I can say that I will definitely be looking to read more by Janet Gurtler, she writes a great book! *A copy was provided for review from the publisher*
Date published: 2013-05-09