Just talks on common themes by Arthur Gray StaplesJust talks on common themes by Arthur Gray Staples

Just talks on common themes

byArthur Gray Staples

Paperback | February 7, 2012

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This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated.1919 Excerpt: ... ON "THE COW" HE COW does not resemble the pump; altho there once was confusion, on this point, before the discovery of butter-fat. The cow has four legs and the pump has only one. The subsequent leg of the cow on the right hand side is elastic and can reach farther than the arm of the law. The cow also has a tail with a fly-slapper on the end of it. This she uses to wrap around the neck of the freckled milkman and hold him while she kicks his union suit off of him. A cow is always associated with cold weather, in my mind, because I never seem to remember milking a cow when it was warm weather. Sitting on a cold milkstool, on the port side of a cow, in a frosty morning and extracting the milk in frosty streams, is as far from interpreting Tennyson as anything I ever did. Mephistopheles had horns and a tail. The only thing he has on the cow is that he did not give milk. And Mephistopheles generally lived in a warmer climate. If you ever milked a cow in below-zero weather you know that you had to be tender to the cow. If there is a Hell, there will be cows to milk in it, in winter. I prefer some other job, in Heaven. There is a tradition that the cow is a mild and gentle beast of absolutely moral conviction and general ascetic practice. I have my doubt. The cow is a natural born thief. She rather steal than eat. She rather go out and eat Monday's washing than feed on clover. You give a cow the slightest chance to accumulate the education and she will unbutton the lock on a six-barred gate and eat all of the green peas before you can put on your cowhides and get there preparatory to giving her a kick in the rump. I have seen more agile farmers chasing cows than I ever saw chasing reform. I have seen my grandfather leap over the wood-pile; scale a ten-foot barny...
Title:Just talks on common themesFormat:PaperbackDimensions:84 pages, 9.69 × 7.44 × 0.17 inPublished:February 7, 2012Publisher:General Books LLCLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0217963765

ISBN - 13:9780217963763