My Horizontal Life: A Collection Of One Night Stands by Chelsea HandlerMy Horizontal Life: A Collection Of One Night Stands by Chelsea Handler

My Horizontal Life: A Collection Of One Night Stands

byChelsea Handler

Paperback | July 16, 2013

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In this raucous collection of true-life stories, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.

Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them.My Horizontal Lifechronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty.

Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details.My Horizontal Lifeis one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
Chelsea Handler is the author of 3 #1 bestsellers:My Horizontal Life; Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea,andChelsea Chelsea Bang Bang.
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Title:My Horizontal Life: A Collection Of One Night StandsFormat:PaperbackDimensions:240 pages, 8 × 5.25 × 0.75 inPublished:July 16, 2013Publisher:Grand Central PublishingLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:1455577510

ISBN - 13:9781455577514

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Reviews

Rated 4 out of 5 by from Hilarious She has wit and humor galore. Laugh out loud book
Date published: 2017-10-10
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Hilarious This was a funny laugh out loud book that is worth the money.
Date published: 2017-10-10
Rated 1 out of 5 by from Nah... She is so repetitive. I would say skip this and read a better comedy memoir.
Date published: 2017-09-27
Rated 5 out of 5 by from FUNNY! I'm embarrassed to say I didn't actually realize what the title meant until someone else had read it out loud around me. Chelsea is hilarious
Date published: 2017-07-11
Rated 5 out of 5 by from FUNNY!! Easy to read and funny book. Good for summer reads! :)
Date published: 2017-06-23
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I love her Chelsea is honest, empowering and hilarious as always in this book. She is both self deprecating and confident with who she is. Great read.
Date published: 2017-05-20
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Not my favorite Big Chelsea fan but this book was my least favorite. There are still a lot of funny parts and it is a very easy read I just preferred other books she's written.
Date published: 2017-04-05
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Hilarious! I loved this book it was so funny and easy to digest
Date published: 2017-03-26
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Cried from laughing so hard! This book was hilarious from start to finish. I cried from laughing so hard. Perfect book to read while sipping a glass of wine. Would definitely read her other books.
Date published: 2017-02-21
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Good debut This collection was a good start for Chelsea Handler. She creates a tone that she expands upon in her her future works. Not quite as good as "Are you there vodka."
Date published: 2017-02-05
Rated 5 out of 5 by from The Most Human Book Ive Read You could be anyone from anywhere and just laugh at the chapters of this book. It's candid and its a fast ride. Handler's obvious gift is her candor on literally EVERYTHING she's the epitome of unapologetic frankness.
Date published: 2017-01-23
Rated 5 out of 5 by from My favourite from Handler! I am a huge Chelsea fan - read most of her books. This is my favourite - very funny!
Date published: 2017-01-13
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Laugh Out Loud I had to stop every 10 minutes to read passages out loud to whoever would listen. Hilarious!
Date published: 2017-01-10
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Loved it This book brought me to tears laughing so hard. It's a must read if you want a good laugh
Date published: 2016-12-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY she is amazing! done it again with a brutally honest and hilarious book of her life
Date published: 2016-12-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Too Funny Chelsea Handler is hysterical. After reading all of her other books this is still by far my favorite.
Date published: 2016-11-26
Rated 5 out of 5 by from hilarious #plumreview truly hilarious. Definitely her best work. Thoroughly entertained from beginning to end #plumreview
Date published: 2016-11-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Never Dull Every Chelsea Handler book is amazing to me. Chelsea Handler has quickly become one of my Idols over the years. I first started reading her books at a time in my life where I wasn't in the greatest place. She made me laugh on my darkest days, and for that I am forever grateful.
Date published: 2016-11-12
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I was hooked from page 1 This compilation of Chelsea’s sexual encounters is absolutely hilarious!! Chelsea has no prejudice when it comes to skin tone, income or height. Each story is funnier than the last.
Date published: 2014-10-31
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Too funny! I never really liked Chelsea much, but now I love her!!! I am absolutely getting all her books!
Date published: 2014-02-08
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Too funny! So hilarious! I could read it over and over! Quick read and laugh out loud funny. It's not for people who are offended easily. You won't regret this purchase.
Date published: 2014-02-04
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Too funny! I love all of Chelsea's books... she tells the funniest stories!
Date published: 2013-10-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Too funny! Excellent - funny!
Date published: 2013-10-05
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Really Enjoyed It I really enjoyed this book it was different from all my other reads. It was funny and vulgar. I love Chelsea Handler.
Date published: 2012-01-19
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Funny I liked this book, didnt love it. I enjoyed her other book better. She is funny and can put a nice twist on sex. She can laugh at herself and I like her.
Date published: 2011-09-16
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Some Laughs and Lots of Vulgarity I was recommended this book by a friend. My friend said it was funny and since she rarely reads I thought I would give it a try. It had me laughing out loud in a couple chapters, and it definitely has its vulgar moments, most of which made the stories that much better. However, I found some of the stories missed the mark. Some seemed too forced or so far out there that they just didn’t seem realistic. I do understand that this is Chelsea Handler we’re talking about, but like I said some were just too outrageous to be believable. It definitely had some good moments that I will remember for quite some time, but I don’t think I’ll be looking for anymore of Chelsea Handler’s books in the near future.
Date published: 2011-09-08
Rated 3 out of 5 by from My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands I picked this up as it was recommended to me by a friend who said it was hilarious. I'll admit that it had some funny moments, but all in all I would say it was just average.
Date published: 2011-08-24
Rated 3 out of 5 by from A little disappointing... I picked this book up 'cause I thought it would be as funny as the reviews on the back cover said it was...It wasn't. It had its moments, but I was a little disappointed.
Date published: 2011-01-26
Rated 5 out of 5 by from hilarious Chelsea is one of the funniest writers I have ever read. She doesn't hold back on anything... no matter how vulgar! I couldn't stop laughing and was glad it was the first book of hers that I read. Can't wait to move onto the others.
Date published: 2010-12-08
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Absolutely Hilarious! Comedian, humorist, and TV personality Chelsea Handler's first book is an amusing memoir recounting her vodka-aided sex-capades with the opposite sex during her 20s. The book is broken up into short essay style chapters making for a quick and easy read. If you are familiar with and appreciate Chelsea Handler’s humor like I do, you will likely find this book entertaining. I highly recommend this book if you want a laugh-out-loud funny book to read, but be warned that Chelsea is a bit crass and some of her tales are a bit disturbing, offensive and raunchy. There is something in this book to make everyone squirm and it is definitely not for the easily offended or delicately sensible.
Date published: 2010-06-30
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Hilarious This book had me laughing fom beginning to end. I wished it was longer. Chelsea Handler is phenamenal on tv and even more so in print. Her stories are amusing, oddly relatable and humane. I read this at work laughing my ass off and struggling to keep my chuckles confined. My only wish of what I would have done different, would be the setting. Preferably on a beach, laying beneath the sun and relinquishing this hilarious book from top to bottom. Can't wait to read her other books.
Date published: 2010-05-28
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Too funny for words... What an incredibly funny novel. If you like Chelsea Handler, then you are going to have to read this one. A book about a variety of her One Night Stands. There are certainly 1 or 2 experiences in this book that take the cake!
Date published: 2010-04-03
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Fun Not great literature, but it doesn't pretend to be. An easy, fun. light read...great for the beach or coffee shop
Date published: 2010-01-21
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Could not put it down! I read this book in a day!! i was laughing outloud and smiling to myself the whole time. Such a witty book I loved it!
Date published: 2009-10-05
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Chelsea's Drunken One Night Stands I guess I expected this book to be clever and witty like the humour I've seen on Chelsea Lately or in her stand up comedy. Unfortunately its not. This book is just a mildly entertaining collection of immature stories wherein Chelsea proceeds to get as intoxicated as she can, insults everyone around her and then tries (sometimes unsuccessfully) to find a man who will have sex with her. If you leave your politically correctness at the door and enjoy stories about drunken one night stands then you might enjoy this book. However this is not really a memoir and her lack of compassion is at times insulting. Sure, there are a couple of amusing quips within her tales but nothing that I would really call funny. Chelsea isn't shy and she loves men, lots of men. Oh, and top shelf vodka too (I'm not sure in which order) In MY HORIZONTAL LIFE Chelsea chronicles her escapades with a Vegas stripper, a well endowed little person, a cruise ship performer, her landlord, her gynaecologist, a Washington politician with a coke habit, black men, Latino men, small penised men...you get the idea. She also tries to get `Dumb-Dumb' her virgin roommate some action and all hell breaks loose when she attends her sisters wedding with her gay friend Nathan. Sleazy, aimless and disappointing I kept waiting for this book to get better or for Chelsea to be in some way redeemed by the end and find a steady man. Needless to say I won't
Date published: 2009-07-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from A Very Funny Read! Chelsea Handler is hilarious (obviously) and this book is just as witty and provocative as she is. I loved the book and I didn't expect it to be the page turner that it was. Never has promiscuity been so charming.
Date published: 2009-07-01
Rated 5 out of 5 by from For Wild Girls Not for the faint of heart, but for us former wild girls that love to hear about and chat about our past! Full of laughs!
Date published: 2009-04-22
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Funnier Then Real Life! This was one of the funniest books I have ever read. I picked it up and could not put id down until I finished it four hours later. There are parts in this book that will make you cringe, but for the most part this book is nonstop funny. I recommend this book to anyone who loves a really good laugh. I can't wait to read her next book.
Date published: 2008-11-12
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Absolutely hilarious! I have never laughed so hard while reading a book in my life ! Each chapter contained passages that would provoke uncontrollable laughter; just thinking about some of them now makes me smile. Any girl/woman in her twenties and thirties can relate. I would recommend it to anyone looking for a laugh or two !
Date published: 2008-08-03
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Most Hilarious book I have read Chelsea Handler's memoir is not only one of the best books I've read in a while, it's also the funniest book I have ever read. Now don't get me wrong, this isn't a Nobel Prize winning selection, those aren't my types of book anyways. It is impossible not to laugh out loud through many of the ordeals Chelsea has been through. Some highlights are definitely the nugget chapter, the Halloween party on Valentine's Day , and the High School reunion revenge chapters, just to name a few. The book is filled with witty comments and hilarity is sure to follow. It's a good read and really easy to go through, it's even hard to put down! It's the best memoir I've read in a long time, and I encourage everyone to pick up their copies now!
Date published: 2005-10-16