My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands by Chelsea HandlerMy Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands by Chelsea Handler

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

byChelsea Handler

Paperback | May 20, 2005

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In this raucous collection of true-life stories, actress and comedian Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, strange, irresistible, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand.
You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
Chelsea Handler was born in Livingston, New Jersey, and has toured doing stand-up. Now settled in Los Angeles, she is one of the stars on Oxygen’s Girls Behaving Badly and has guest-starred on programs such as Spy TV, My Wife and Kids, The Bernie Mac Show and The Practice. Her stand-up will soon be televised on VH1’s Love Lounge, Comed...
Title:My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night StandsFormat:PaperbackDimensions:224 pages, 8.25 × 5.5 × 0.65 inPublished:May 20, 2005Publisher:Bloomsbury USALanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:1582346186

ISBN - 13:9781582346182

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Rated 4 out of 5 by from Hilarious This was a funny laugh out loud book that is worth the money.
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Rated 1 out of 5 by from Nah... She is so repetitive. I would say skip this and read a better comedy memoir.
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from FUNNY! I'm embarrassed to say I didn't actually realize what the title meant until someone else had read it out loud around me. Chelsea is hilarious
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from FUNNY!! Easy to read and funny book. Good for summer reads! :)
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from I love her Chelsea is honest, empowering and hilarious as always in this book. She is both self deprecating and confident with who she is. Great read.
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Rated 3 out of 5 by from Not my favorite Big Chelsea fan but this book was my least favorite. There are still a lot of funny parts and it is a very easy read I just preferred other books she's written.
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Rated 4 out of 5 by from Hilarious! I loved this book it was so funny and easy to digest
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from Cried from laughing so hard! This book was hilarious from start to finish. I cried from laughing so hard. Perfect book to read while sipping a glass of wine. Would definitely read her other books.
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Rated 3 out of 5 by from Good debut This collection was a good start for Chelsea Handler. She creates a tone that she expands upon in her her future works. Not quite as good as "Are you there vodka."
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from The Most Human Book Ive Read You could be anyone from anywhere and just laugh at the chapters of this book. It's candid and its a fast ride. Handler's obvious gift is her candor on literally EVERYTHING she's the epitome of unapologetic frankness.
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from My favourite from Handler! I am a huge Chelsea fan - read most of her books. This is my favourite - very funny!
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from Laugh Out Loud I had to stop every 10 minutes to read passages out loud to whoever would listen. Hilarious!
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from Loved it This book brought me to tears laughing so hard. It's a must read if you want a good laugh
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY she is amazing! done it again with a brutally honest and hilarious book of her life
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from Too Funny Chelsea Handler is hysterical. After reading all of her other books this is still by far my favorite.
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from hilarious #plumreview truly hilarious. Definitely her best work. Thoroughly entertained from beginning to end #plumreview
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from Never Dull Every Chelsea Handler book is amazing to me. Chelsea Handler has quickly become one of my Idols over the years. I first started reading her books at a time in my life where I wasn't in the greatest place. She made me laugh on my darkest days, and for that I am forever grateful.
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from I was hooked from page 1 This compilation of Chelsea’s sexual encounters is absolutely hilarious!! Chelsea has no prejudice when it comes to skin tone, income or height. Each story is funnier than the last.
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from Too funny! So hilarious! I could read it over and over! Quick read and laugh out loud funny. It's not for people who are offended easily. You won't regret this purchase.
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from Too funny! I love all of Chelsea's books... she tells the funniest stories!
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from Too funny! Excellent - funny!
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Rated 5 out of 5 by from Really Enjoyed It I really enjoyed this book it was different from all my other reads. It was funny and vulgar. I love Chelsea Handler.
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Rated 3 out of 5 by from Funny I liked this book, didnt love it. I enjoyed her other book better. She is funny and can put a nice twist on sex. She can laugh at herself and I like her.
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Rated 3 out of 5 by from Some Laughs and Lots of Vulgarity I was recommended this book by a friend. My friend said it was funny and since she rarely reads I thought I would give it a try. It had me laughing out loud in a couple chapters, and it definitely has its vulgar moments, most of which made the stories that much better. However, I found some of the stories missed the mark. Some seemed too forced or so far out there that they just didn’t seem realistic. I do understand that this is Chelsea Handler we’re talking about, but like I said some were just too outrageous to be believable. It definitely had some good moments that I will remember for quite some time, but I don’t think I’ll be looking for anymore of Chelsea Handler’s books in the near future.
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Rated 3 out of 5 by from My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands I picked this up as it was recommended to me by a friend who said it was hilarious. I'll admit that it had some funny moments, but all in all I would say it was just average.
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Rated 3 out of 5 by from A little disappointing... I picked this book up 'cause I thought it would be as funny as the reviews on the back cover said it was...It wasn't. It had its moments, but I was a little disappointed.
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Editorial Reviews

In a word: hilarious. In two: absolutely hilarious. These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read and they''re also some of the most unexpectedly heartfelt." -- Laura Zigman, author of Animal Husbandry, Dating Big Bird, and Her