The Inheritance Of Shame: A Memoir by Peter Gajdics

The Inheritance Of Shame: A Memoir

byPeter Gajdics

Paperback | May 16, 2017

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Author Peter Gajdics spent six years in a bizarre form of conversion therapy that attempted to "cure" him of his homosexuality. Kept with other patients in a cult-like home in British Columbia, Canada, Gajdics was under the authority of a dominating, rogue psychiatrist who controlled his patients, in part, by creating and exploiting a false sense of family. Juxtaposed against his parents' tormented past-his mother's incarceration and escape from a communist concentration camp in post-World War II Yugoslavia, and his father's upbringing as an orphan in war-torn Hungary-The Inheritance of Shame: A Memoir explores the universal themes of childhood trauma, oppression, and intergenerational pain. Told over a period of decades, the story shows us the damaging repercussions of conversion therapy and reminds us that resilience, compassion, and the courage to speak the truth exist within us all.

Details & Specs

Title:The Inheritance Of Shame: A MemoirFormat:PaperbackDimensions:352 pages, 8 × 5 × 0.75 inPublished:May 16, 2017Publisher:Brown Paper PressLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:1941932088

ISBN - 13:9781941932087

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Boys turned into men, and when I was fourteen, I had sex with another man. I had skipped out of school, was steps off the bus downtown, when I saw him, a perfect stranger, on the street. He was blonde, with a handlebar moustache, and I remember that he licked his lips and motioned for me to follow him, which I did, like a sleepwalker, through the underground shopping mall, into a department store parkade, and down into the bottom of a concrete stairwell. Neither of us said a word the whole time we walked. Words weren't necessary. The stink of piss and cum dizzied my mind as the stranger pushed me up against the graffitied wall and kissed me, hard, on the lips; held my hands above my head and devoured me, as I did him, each of us like sexual cannibals, starved for what the other had to give. When I opened my eyes two other men were five steps up, like on a balcony, rubbing crotches through bulging 501's, kissing, entering each other's flesh while spitting, sweating, watching.When he knelt down before me, for an instant the image of Sunday mass flashed across my mind, then joined the memory of the fat man in my elementary school toilet that seemed suddenly like it had never left me, and had now only surfaced. But then a pressure peaked in my groin as the man's hands slid up inside my shirt and out came from inside of me all thought, and memory, and fear."Thanks, boy," he said, wiping his mouth, zipping up.There was a gap in my thinking where I followed his lead and thanked him as well. I looked up the stairs but the other men had disappeared. When he pushed open the heavy aluminum door, the sight of an alleyway lined with drunks and junkies rushed inside of me with a gust of fresh fear.With every panicked step toward the bus around a corner, I repeated to myself that what I'd done could not be done again, would not be done again.

Editorial Reviews

"Reflective but passionate, Gajdics takes the reader on an exploration beyond the what of his experience as a young, conflicted gay man and deeply into the chasm of his search to discover who he was.. This exploration is a hero's journey in which any reader, gay or straight, can find inspiration." -- LAMBDA LITERARY, April 2017"Peter Gajdics' multi-faceted memoir offers help for abuse survivors and those who care about them. His healing speaks to the power and fortitude of the human spirit. The Inheritance of Shame is both about damage and healing. This is a work of love." -- MIKE LEW, author of Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse"Cults come in many forms and unfortunately those who want to be normal sometimes become victims of these cults. The book focuses on the triumph of the human spirit and shows how everyone may be different in some ways but no one is born to be what others think they should be. At the end, be yourself and be happier is the theme of the book." -- BEV SELLARS, Bestselling author of They Called Me Number One