The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating

Paperback | December 12, 2012

byEric Anderson

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Whether straight or gay, most men start their relationships desiring monogamy. This is rooted in the pervasive notion that monogamy exists as a sign of true love. Yet despite this deeply held cultural ideal, cheating remains rampant. In this accessible book, Eric Anderson investigates why 78%of men he interviewed have cheated despite their desire not to. Combining 120 interviews with research from the fields of sociology, biology, and psychology, Anderson identifies cheating as a product of wanting emotional passion for one's partner, along with a steadily growing desire for emotionally detached recreational sex with others. Anderson coins the term"the monogamy gap" to describe this phenomenon, suggesting that monogamy is an irrational ideal because it fails to fulfil a lifetime of sexual desires. Cheating therefore becomes the rational response to an irrational situation.The Monogamy Gap draws on a range of concepts, theories, and disciplines to highlight the biological compulsion of our sexual urges, the social construction of the monogamous ideal, and the devastating chasm that lies between them. Whether single or married, monogamous or open, straight or gay,readers will find The Monogamy Gap to be an enlightening, intellectually compelling, and provocative book.

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Whether straight or gay, most men start their relationships desiring monogamy. This is rooted in the pervasive notion that monogamy exists as a sign of true love. Yet despite this deeply held cultural ideal, cheating remains rampant. In this accessible book, Eric Anderson investigates why 78%of men he interviewed have cheated despite t...

Professor Eric Anderson is an American sociologist at the University of Winchester. He is known for his research on sex, gender, and sports. Anderson is also the author of 11 books, many of which document the development of pro-gay attitudes in young, heterosexual men. His work examines how this changing culture enables heterosexual me...

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Format:PaperbackDimensions:256 pages, 9.25 × 6.12 × 0.68 inPublished:December 12, 2012Publisher:Oxford University PressLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:019994895X

ISBN - 13:9780199948956

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Table of Contents

Part 1: Introduction1. Overview of the Research2. Developing a Critique of Monogamy3. About the StudyPart 2: Men, Attraction, and Love4. The Hardening and Softening of Men5. The Science of Sexual Attraction6. The Development of Romantic RelationshipsPart 3: Monogamy and its Discontents7. Categorizing Monogamy Types8. Monogamism9. The Monogamy Gap10. Costs of Monogamism11. Jealousy12. Liberation from Monogamous Missionary SexPart 4: The Reality of Cheating13. Prevalence of Cheating14. Spontaneous Cheating15. Cheating Out of Love16. Counter Currents17. Conclusions