The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Whiny Unfed by Mike SpohrThe Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Whiny Unfed by Mike Spohr

The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Whiny Unfed

byMike Spohr, Heather Spohr

Paper over Board | August 1, 2017

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Toddlers and zombies both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler's case), and--upon entering your life--leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived.

The Toddler Survival Guideis a hilarious parody of Max Brooks'sThe Zombie Survival Guide(and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler ("Elmo's Song," mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler--or you--bursting into tears.

Chapters include: Preparing the Home for a Toddler Invasion, Communicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation.

Mike Spohris an editor at BuzzFeed, where he runs the Parents and Family vertical. He is notorious for his love of Diet Coke, the Beatles, and the San Francisco Giants, but loves his wife, kids, and dog even more. You can read blog posts by him at Mike's BuzzFeed posts can be found at
Title:The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection From The Whiny UnfedFormat:Paper over BoardDimensions:192 pages, 8.38 × 5.38 × 0.88 inPublished:August 1, 2017Publisher:Voyageur PressLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0760352194

ISBN - 13:9780760352199

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Editorial Reviews

The scariest part about The Toddler Survival Guide is that it’s all true! Build a bunker, buy a copy of this book, and read every single word. And may God have mercy on your soul.
- Matt Logelin, author of New York Times Bestseller Two Kisses for Maddy