Why start a sexual wellness practice?

A sexual wellness practice, or the practice of exploring pleasure for the sake of pleasure, has numerous benefits, says Smile Makers marketing manager Cecile Gasnault. This includes boosting self-confidence and mental health, and improving intimacy with a partner. It can also lead to safer, more empowering sex. “Since you know what you like, and don’t like, you feel empowered to say no,” says Gasnault, who developed Vulva Talks, Smile Makers’ education platform.

Think about what brings you pleasure

If you’re looking to try a vibrator, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. “One of the best places to start is to think about how you most enjoy pleasure, either with a partner or alone,” says sex educator Sandra Carpenter, who is the moderator of the Dame Labs Facebook group and a doctoral candidate in gender studies. “If you’re just beginning and this is an intimidating experience … I would suggest thinking about what you already like and then finding something that literally sits there,” Carpenter says. Find a vibe made for those areas like Dame’s Fin or Pom.

Both Dame and Smile Makers are trying to close the pleasure, or orgasm, gap. In studies, cis-gender women in heterosexual relationships had fewer orgasms when with a partner than any other group. Carpenter and Gasnault stress that many women do not achieve orgasm through penetrative sex, and both brands have developed a suite of products for all types of stimulation (from vibes that stimulate the entire vulva, to Smile Makers’ Frenchman, which mimics the feeling of a tongue and can be used all over the body—whether you’re using them alone, with a partner, or both). When it comes to exploring your body and choosing a vibrator, Gasnault says many people buy what they think they should have instead of reflecting on what they truly need. “Society would have us think there’s a very standard way to have sex … The idea is to realize there are many ways your body can experience pleasure,” she says.

Make it a multi-sensory experience

“There are so many different ways you can make yourself feel very, very connected to yourself, and sexy,” says Carpenter, noting that it’s important to engage all of your senses, including touch. To show yourself a little extra love, both Carpenter and Gasnault recommend seducing yourself by making your space inviting—with nice sheets, candles, scents, and sounds that make you feel comfortable, relaxed, and confident.

Gasnault suggests bringing in your imagination, too, by writing your own erotica or sexual fantasies. All of Smile Makers’ vibrators are named after real-life sexual fantasies (there’s the Fireman, the Ballerina, the Surfer, and more). “We like to validate that women do have fantasies as well,” she says. But no matter how you embrace sexual wellness, it’s all about making yourself feel good.