How To Save Your Child From Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, And Anything Else That Might Happen On An Average Tuesday by James BreakwellHow To Save Your Child From Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, And Anything Else That Might Happen On An Average Tuesday by James Breakwell

How To Save Your Child From Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, And Anything Else That Might…

byJames Breakwell

Paperback | November 5, 2019

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about

The parenting humorist behind the viral Twitter account @XplodingUnicorn and author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse presents the long-awaited guide to surviving everything else

In the era of instant parent shaming and viral hot takes, some questions are too dangerous to ask out loud: What's the proper first aid for my toddler’s vampire bite? What should I do if I take a wrong turn on the way to soccer practice and end up in the Cretaceous Period? How can I fend off Godzilla without disrupting my child's nap?

Fortunately, there's now a parenting resource that answers those burning questions and many more.

Professional comedy writer and amateur father James Breakwell’s latest book tackles more than 90 survival challenges ordinary parents might encounter in their everyday lives, including:

  • How to protect your child against tigers, penguins, mastodons, and other animals found in the suburbs.
  • How to defeat ghosts, gremlins, mummies, and any other supernatural force that might prevent you from getting your kid to bed on time.
  • How to survive crashing horses, trains, hot air balloons, and other vehicles you might find in the carpool lane.

This is an essential guide for anyone who has children, might have children someday, or is vaguely aware children exist. Put this book down at your own—and your children’s—risk.



James Breakwell is a professional comedy writer and amateur father of four girls ages 7 and under. His Twitter account @XplodingUnicorn has more than 640,000 followers who check in with him daily as he fails as a parent and a human being.Breakwell's comedy went viral in April 2016 when Buzzfeed featured his kid-centric jokes in an arti...
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Title:How To Save Your Child From Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, And Anything Else That Might…Format:PaperbackProduct dimensions:200 pages, 8 × 6 × 0.68 inShipping dimensions:8 × 6 × 0.68 inPublished:November 5, 2019Publisher:BenBella Books, Inc.Language:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:1948836459

ISBN - 13:9781948836456

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Table of Contents

Contents

Chapter 1: How to Survive Anything
Chapter 2: Wild Animals
Chapter 3: Supernatural Beings
Chapter 4: People
Chapter 5: Public Problems
Chapter 6: Domestic Disasters
Chapter 7: Accidental Time Travel
Chapter 8: Sci-Fi Situations
Chapter 9: Classical Literature
Chapter 10: Video Games
Chapter 11: The Final Challenge