I Let You Go by Clare MackintoshI Let You Go by Clare Mackintosh

I Let You Go

byClare Mackintosh

Paperback | May 3, 2016

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THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

Now in paperback—the next blockbuster thriller for those who loved The Girl on the Train and Gone Girl... “a finely-crafted novel with a killer twist.” (#1 New York Times bestselling author Paula Hawkins)

 
On a rainy afternoon, a mother's life is shattered as her son slips from her grip and runs into the street...
 
I Let You Go follows Jenna Gray as she moves to a ramshackle cottage on the remote Welsh coast, trying to escape the memory of the car accident that plays again and again in her mind, desperate to heal from the loss of her child and the rest of her painful past.
 
At the same time, the novel tracks the pair of Bristol police investigators trying to get to the bottom of this hit-and-run. As they chase down one hopeless lead after another, they find themselves as drawn to each other as they are to the frustrating, twist-filled case before them.
Clare Mackintosh is an award-winning New York Times and international bestselling author. She spent twelve years on the police force in England and has written for the Guardian, Good Housekeeping, and other publications. A columnist for Cotswold Life, she is the founder of Chipping Norton Literary Festival and lives in North Wales with...
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Title:I Let You GoFormat:PaperbackDimensions:384 pages, 9 × 6 × 0.97 inPublished:May 3, 2016Publisher:Penguin Publishing GroupLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0451488598

ISBN - 13:9780451488596

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Reviews

Rated 5 out of 5 by from Can't Put it Down This book was recommended to me and I am so happy it was....I honestly can't put it down!!!! It has you at the edge of your seat and when you think you have it figured out there is a twist thrown in to keep you guessing!!! This is a must read!
Date published: 2017-10-10
Rated 3 out of 5 by from ok A good plot with some slow spots, but overall a good read.
Date published: 2017-10-10
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Unexpectedly loved it! As most reviews have said, the plot twistSSSSSSS totally caught me off guard. Recommend this book for sure!
Date published: 2017-10-03
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Awesome twist! I really enjoyed how this book was written and the twist in the middle. It totally caught me off guard and made me appreciate the whole book.
Date published: 2017-09-30
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Got me good !! Loved It So amazing. Multiple twists and when you think you understand/know what happened, they flip it around again. All I could say when I finished the first part was, "Ohhhhh, they got me." Because I was definitely blindsided and super confused.
Date published: 2017-09-14
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Thriller with Great Writing I listened to this mostly in the car, and Part One was a bit of a slow-go. I do like the style of writing, but Jenna sometimes grated the ol' nerves... However, stick with it because: BAM. Cookin' with gas. You can't really review this without spoilers, but I will say there may be triggers if anyone has been in an abusive relationship. I'd say if you liked Girl on a Train, you'll like this
Date published: 2017-08-25
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazing By far one of the best thrillers I've read so far. The plot twist was fantastic!
Date published: 2017-08-18
Rated 5 out of 5 by from cool Nice touch, great collaboration...
Date published: 2017-08-04
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Loved it!! Am on a thriller reading binge and this one is one of my favorites. Half way through you can predict the twist...but it still manages to keep you reading and very much interested. This is a must read, you will not regret it.
Date published: 2017-07-30
Rated 4 out of 5 by from The book that made me fall in love with thrillers. This was truly amazing. I loved all the characters and the way this story was written is honestly clever. Highly recommend it!
Date published: 2017-07-25
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great book I enjoyed this one and the twist although somewhat predictable as your keep reading keeps you on your toes.
Date published: 2017-07-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Loved this book! I did not see the twist coming. Highly recommend reading this book.
Date published: 2017-07-04
Rated 5 out of 5 by from AMAZING I absolutely loved this book! I had heard that the twist in the middle is shocking and I was a bit skeptical because I figured I had thought of every possibility... but I was very wrong! The twist made my jaw drop and sent me back to the beginning to re-read certain parts and figure out how the author was able to pull off such a twist. The second half of the book after the twist was so addicting, I couldn't put it down. I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a page-turning read.
Date published: 2017-06-27
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I absolutely loved this book! I couldn't put this book down! Definitely recommend this. #plumreview
Date published: 2017-06-27
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Biggest twist I've read! Hands down the biggest plot twist I've read in a book so far. Was not expecting it, and it was so addicting to keep reading. Couldn't put it down.
Date published: 2017-06-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from awesome book loved the book. real page turner.
Date published: 2017-06-08
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Highly Recommended! I loved this book, it had me stay up till 3 am because I couldn't put it down. I really cared about the characters and empathized with them throughout. Highly recommended.
Date published: 2017-06-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Very good book! I read this one in a few days. I don't want to give anything away, but I can usually figure out books long before the ending and there were several surprises for me in this book. Very well written. I would read this author again.
Date published: 2017-06-01
Rated 5 out of 5 by from One of my favourite new books. This book was cleverly written using different perspectives to give the audience a glance into the life of an abused woman. The ending is definitely worth waiting for - read this one so quick!
Date published: 2017-05-26
Rated 5 out of 5 by from So Good Total page turner, cannot wait to read more from this author
Date published: 2017-05-19
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I loved this book!! This book has been one of my best reads of all time. Just when you think you've got it figured out - you don't!! Unbelievable twist at the end. If you plan on reading this book before you go to bed, then plan on being up late.
Date published: 2017-05-17
Rated 2 out of 5 by from I couldn't finish it Hard to get into this one, I couldn't finish it.
Date published: 2017-05-17
Rated 2 out of 5 by from predictable if you've read a lot of mystery/thriller novels with that giant twist in the middle, then don't bother reading this one. it's so predictable once I realized there was a twist, I basically knew how the rest of the book would turn out. Too many of these female protagonist / thriller novels these days...
Date published: 2017-05-16
Rated 4 out of 5 by from great read loved i...a book with a lot of twists
Date published: 2017-05-13
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great read This had a few different twists that I was actually surprised by, I had to go back a couple chapters to double check I was following the story correctly. It was a great, tragic, intense book.
Date published: 2017-05-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Terrific Really great plot, awesome from start to finish
Date published: 2017-05-03
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Couldn't let go The first part of the book was a little slow, and I kept waiting for something to happen, something that would explain all the raving reviews. And then I got to part two, and boom...I just couldn't put the book down until it was over because the anxiety I was feeling was killing me. I don't remember the last time a book had me so stressed out. Freaking awesome book. Applause. Two thumbs up.
Date published: 2017-05-02
Rated 5 out of 5 by from AMAZING BOOK!! Lots of great twists!! Couldn't put it down!! Amazing book! Very well laid out, and kept me guessing until the very end. You think one thing for quite a long time (without giving away too much) and then the author flips your world upside down with twist, after twist, after twist. The story still lingers months later. I am very happy with the book, and cannot wait to read more from this author. The main characters are very relatable. I couldn’t put the book down, it was so good. Highly recommended!!
Date published: 2017-04-27
Rated 2 out of 5 by from Disappointed. Slow to start. Predictable. Terribly written ending. I would not recommend.
Date published: 2017-04-20
Rated 5 out of 5 by from MUST READ!!! For once when someone on the cover says it's a must read they were correct! Don't want to give anything away but it's got a twist like Gone Girl did and keeps you reading to the end. Loved how the author came up with the idea for the story. Great / Must Read!
Date published: 2017-04-16
Rated 5 out of 5 by from excellent this book was really really good. had me hooked from the get go.
Date published: 2017-04-15
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Yes, must read It had me hooked from the start. Very good story.
Date published: 2017-04-10
Rated 5 out of 5 by from One of my favourites This was one of the best books I've ever read. It has many twists and turns and always keeps you engaged. It's interesting and has really good writing. I would definitely recommend it. #plumreview
Date published: 2017-03-31
Rated 5 out of 5 by from hands down best read of 2016 couldn't put this book down- such a great read
Date published: 2017-03-30
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Totally loved it, what a great book, a real eye opener. Really fantastic stuff in here. So happy we got it, even works as a gift. Definately going into our library, in our permanent collection. What more can I say, we are are trully pleased.
Date published: 2017-03-28
Rated 4 out of 5 by from I couldn't put it down I took this on a weekend getaway and couldn't put it down! The start made me a bit weepy, but I was hooked. Don't start it if you have to wake up early the next day!
Date published: 2017-03-28
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Had me hooked 'till the end! I thoroughly enjoyed this book, it definitely kept me enthralled from start to finish, I couldn't put it down!
Date published: 2017-03-27
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Loved it Slow at first, but it really picked up! Didn't see all the twists and turns coming!
Date published: 2017-03-26
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Well written, excellent plot This started a bit slow but was an excellent plot. Got a bit predictable near the end but doesn't change the fact that it's a great story. Really strong characters
Date published: 2017-03-26
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great example of this genre Loved it, with the plot twist halfway into the book, instead of at the end. I was a bit disconcerted by the ending - too vague.... However, the characters were believable and the descriptions really helped immerse you into the story.
Date published: 2017-03-25
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Keeps you guessing I really enjoyed this book! It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster! I couldn't help but love the main character's strength and that's what got me hooked.
Date published: 2017-03-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from AMAZING BOOK I LOVED this book. I read it in two days. It is incredibly written. Chilling character development. I was almost uncomfortable reading from the husband's point of view in part 2. The ending!! SUCH A GOOD BOOK. Cannot recommend this book enough.
Date published: 2017-03-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from WOW! My head is spinning! I just finished reading it. I wish I could rate it more than five stars. I've never sworn so much as I did while reading it. I hated cops who didn't do anything in half of the book. I hated Jenna who didn't reveal anything till the end and mostly I hated the bastard Ian Peterson. I've never hated a character so much but it was such a page-turner. Last few chapters left me breathless. I loved it
Date published: 2017-03-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I couldn't put it down. I agree with lots of the other reviews. This book has a very slow start. But stick with it. Once you get to the second half you won't be able to stop until you finish it. Now that I have read the whole book I understand why the author took her time in the beginning. This is one of those books that will stay with you long after you're done.
Date published: 2017-03-23
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Emotional I loved this book, it was a thriller and emotional. The perfect mix.
Date published: 2017-03-19
Rated 3 out of 5 by from very good suspense and surprise that keeps you interested
Date published: 2017-03-18
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Thrilling and emotional Felt so many emotions and couldn't put it down for a minute
Date published: 2017-03-16
Rated 5 out of 5 by from What a story! A great addition to your library.
Date published: 2017-03-10
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Thrilling! Enjoyed this book very much. Reminded me of Gone Girl with the suspense, however I enjoyed this book more
Date published: 2017-03-10
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Loved it! I could not put this book down, especially once I hit part 2 of it. I haven't read for a while and this book really got me excited to read again :)
Date published: 2017-03-08
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Couldn't Let It Go! I've never read a book quite like this! So, so, so many twists and surprises! It was a total shock to me. I love mystery and thrillers, but find that they can be predictable at times, but Claire Mackintosh had my head spinning from start to finish. I was only able to piece things together a couple pages before the reveal. A true page turner indeed!
Date published: 2017-03-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Read! I found this book to be a real page turner. I loved the twist at the end, didn't see that coming. I can't wait to read her second book. #plumreview
Date published: 2017-03-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I Let You Go This book is a page turner. I recently saw the author speak and was amazed when she said that the whole second half of the book could've had different meaning if the punctuation was changed from a colon to a semi-colon.
Date published: 2017-03-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Novel! Had this book on my to read shelf, once I picked it up I couldn't put it down!
Date published: 2017-03-05
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Quick, Page Turner. I really, really liked this book. It was definitely a page turner and I read it in just a few sittings. I didn't find the big twist, as unexpected as I had read in other reviews. I kind of figured it would progress and turn out exactly the way it did.
Date published: 2017-03-05
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great novel with a shocking twist This was a well written book that brought up many emotions for me. The twist in this novel was completely unexpected and threw me for a loop. It really got me hooked into finishing this story. It chilled me to the bone and broke my heart many times. It's a really good story and I could not put this book down. The story is just beautiful and evoked so many emotions within: sadness, anger, happiness.
Date published: 2017-03-03
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great thriller that isn't what you expect! I am really glad that I was told beforehand that this book was a bit slow at the beginning, because I really found it hard to get into until about the halfway point. It was a great thriller though, and sadder and more intense than I was expecting (I completely expected it to be more focused on something that it was not). Highly recommend it if thrillers with a twist are your kind of thing.
Date published: 2017-03-03
Rated 2 out of 5 by from Did Not Enjoy AT ALL Honestly, I'm so confused by the other reviews. I hated this book. It was written poorly, the storyline was very jumpy and predictable. I finished it just for the purpose of finishing it. I would not recommend this. If you're looking for a good thriller - Megan Miranda's "All the Missing Girls" or any of Gillian Flynn's books. Not this.
Date published: 2017-03-03
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Beatutiful Story This author is such a wonderful writer. This book will break your heart.
Date published: 2017-03-02
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Wow, Wow, What?!!! A very smart, very clever psychological mystery. This book does live up to it's hype. A great ride, you will not be disappointed.
Date published: 2017-03-02
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Looks good Heard good things about this one and am looking forward to reading it
Date published: 2017-03-01
Rated 5 out of 5 by from great book! So many twists always keeping you guessing !
Date published: 2017-02-28
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Looks good Heard so many good things about this book and look forward to reading it
Date published: 2017-02-25
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Loved this book Fabulous read, love the twists.
Date published: 2017-02-25
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Loved it I had to pick a novel I had never read before for english class, and I am so happy I came across this book! I have always had terrible luck when choosing a book for english, but i actually enjoyed all the light we cannot see. I couldnt put it down! a must read!
Date published: 2017-02-25
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Loved! Read this book awhile ago. Was so shocked with the twist!!! Just bought her second book.
Date published: 2017-02-25
Rated 5 out of 5 by from A must read Bought this and read it through without stopping. I loved it. A page turner. Can't wait to read more from this author
Date published: 2017-02-23
Rated 5 out of 5 by from GOOD READ! confusing to begin with but half way through you fly though it and cant get enough
Date published: 2017-02-23
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great Read I really enjoyed this book. Very well written and keeps you on the edge of your seat, particularly in the second half of the book. I agree with other reviewers that the first half is a bit slow but even then, there is a payoff halfway through. Definitely did not see the twists coming. If you want a good thriller, one that is well written at that with nuanced characters, then I would definitely recommend this book! Look forward to reading more by this author.
Date published: 2017-02-22
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Good Read Suspenseful and thrilling. The first half of the book is slow but the second half is worth it! Well written and a very interesting twist #plumreview
Date published: 2017-02-20
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Haunting The challenging topic presented in this novel makes me hesitate to say I enjoyed it - and yet I did. My prediction of how the plot was going to play out proved to be totally off the mark; the turning point caught me by surprise. I would read more by this author.
Date published: 2017-02-20
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great, loved it! A bit slow to start off, but after the big twist (which doesn't happen at the end) it picked up and the plot became excellent. Highly recommended!
Date published: 2017-02-19
Rated 1 out of 5 by from Moves from tedious to horrifically violent This was a horrible book. I had to force myself to get through Part One because NOTHING HAPPENED. The characters are boring and unlikeable and although this book was marketed as a thriller, there was no action in the first part. In Part Two the story began to move forward but it was very disturbing, and not in a good way. Why the author spent so much time describing landscapes rather than developing sympathetic characters is beyond me. The book opens with a boy being hit by a car. She gives us no reasons to care about/connect to this boy other than the fact that he was a child, he existed, and he was killed. Even a few descriptive paragraphs about the child might have sufficed to make the read feel connected to him. Unfortunately I think the author chose not to do that because she didn't want to give away the convoluted direction this book was heading in. It's a shame. This book could have been much better than it is. I can't understand all the rave reviews for I Let You Go. I have to conclude that most (if not all) of those reviewers received free copies in exchange for their kind words.
Date published: 2017-02-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Couldn't put it down! When I found this book, it looked interesting and I'm glad I bought it! It was an amazing book, that kept me on the edge of my seat, kept me thinking & was well written. I loved it & have already recommended it to 2 other friends
Date published: 2017-02-16
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Emotional I was taken aback by how quickly things got moving in this book. The relationships in this book are heartbreaking: mother and son, cop and partner, man and woman. Some parts made me cringe. I had to reread pages over and over as I was slow to catch on to the twist - did not see it coming. Emotional roller coaster!
Date published: 2017-02-16
Rated 5 out of 5 by from better writting than "I see you" really great book, totally worth reading
Date published: 2017-02-13
Rated 5 out of 5 by from better writting than "I see you" really great book, totally worth reading
Date published: 2017-02-13
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Read Looking forwards to reading this book
Date published: 2017-02-12
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great read A really good read with an interesting plot line. I fiund the structure of the book a bit artificial. Its one we've seen a lot of lately and i prefer a more linear organization. That said, its a book worth reading and one that will challenge what you thought you knew.
Date published: 2017-02-11
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Intersting Very interesting and captivating. Made me want to keep reading!
Date published: 2017-02-10
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Never Saw it Coming I never saw the twist in this book coming. Amazingly written!
Date published: 2017-02-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from WOW! Grabs you from the first page
Date published: 2017-02-09
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Holy plot twist Batman! This is a thrilling ride from cover to cover and *spoiler alert* nothing is as it seems. A complex and multi-layered plot takes the reader on a roller coaster ride of emotion. The end is a bit lack luster compared to the rest of the novel but truly a book to make you question what it means to be guilty.
Date published: 2017-02-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazing What a book, half way through and my jaw dropped, I couldn't believe the twist.
Date published: 2017-02-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great book Love this book. Great plot, definitely worth the read and my money
Date published: 2017-02-05
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Awesome twist! I loved this book! I did not see THAT twist coming, and I could not put it down! #plumreview
Date published: 2017-02-04
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Read! Definitely had a hard time putting this book down. Lots of twists and turns. A great read.
Date published: 2017-02-03
Rated 4 out of 5 by from great story page turner , enjoyed the read
Date published: 2017-02-02
Rated 2 out of 5 by from Alright Wasn't my favourite book but it was definitely worth a read.#plumreview
Date published: 2017-02-02
Rated 3 out of 5 by from decent Decent mystery, the atmosphere was great.
Date published: 2017-02-01
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Liked it I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone who likes a good mystery.
Date published: 2017-01-31
Rated 4 out of 5 by from as expected I expected this to have a creepy character -and it did. I expected some plot twist - and there was (but I felt the twist was author playing tricks on the reader, very underhand in my opinion). The ending annoyed me because why leave it open like that? It undermines the whole story but oh well, I guess it leaves room for interpretation (or a sequel).
Date published: 2017-01-30
Rated 4 out of 5 by from On your seat I really enjoyed this book and am interested in reading a sequel if there is one.
Date published: 2017-01-30
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I was floored. This book was captivating, I did not see where it was going at all. The author manipulated us so well, I am extremely impressed with them. Great job with this creation!
Date published: 2017-01-30
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Blind buy Blind buy but glad I did! Great read!
Date published: 2017-01-30
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Made me sad The title and summary made me hesitate to read it (as I'm a mother of a toddler) but I'm glad I did, as that plot was well set up.
Date published: 2017-01-30
Rated 3 out of 5 by from great book not bad to read it is good to think after read
Date published: 2017-01-29
Rated 3 out of 5 by from waiting to read this book is being passed between family members. still waiting my turn.
Date published: 2017-01-29
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Happy to read it I just got the book today. I already read the first chapter and all I can say is that I know I will love it. I surely will recommend it.
Date published: 2017-01-27
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Read We read this for our book club and everyone enjoyed it and found the writing very realistic. No one could predict the plot twists! #plumreview
Date published: 2017-01-25
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Couldn't Put it Down There have been a lot of books in the suspense thriller vein of late and I love them, especially in the summer when I just want to give my brain a break from school. Publishers always want to draw comparisons to Gone Girl, which is the book that perhaps kick-started this newest craze, but I think it’s better to let a book stand on its own bookish merits. Clare Mackintosh’s novel I Let You Go is definitely top of the thriller heap. I couldn’t put this book down and galloped through it in just a couple of sittings. In the book’s opening pages, a mother is walking home in the pouring rain with her young son. Just at the road across the street from their home, he lets go of her hand and runs across the street. Out of nowhere, a car comes barreling down the street and hits the boy. From this point on, I Let You Go is a grab-you-by-the-throat suspense thriller that follows Jenna Gray as she goes to the Welsh coast to escape the tragic death and the police detectives, Ray and Kate, who are trying to find the driver behind the wheel. Jenna’s grief is palpable. “Everything has changed,” she muses. “The instant the car slid across the wet tarmac, my whole life changed.” She stays until she can’t anymore and then, packing only what will fit into her holdall, including a box of treasures from her life, she runs away. "Unable to resist, I open the box and pick up the uppermost photo: a Polaroid taken by a soft-spoken midwife on the day he was born. He is a tiny scrap of pink, barely visible beneath the white hospital blanket." As a mom, it’s hard to imagine how Jenna will ever survive this tragedy, but survive she must. She finally settles in a tiny tourist town called Penfach, somewhere outside of Swansea. There she rents an isolated, dilapidated cottage and begins the arduous process of overcoming her grief. In the meantime, Ray and Kate sift through the non-existent evidence, hoping for a break in the case. Mackintosh spent twelve years as a police officer and so these sections are authentic, but don’t weigh the narrative down with unnecessary police jargon. In addition, Ray and Kate – especially Ray – are given interesting personal lives, which add another dimension to the story. It doesn’t always work, but it does here – Mackintosh pushes the story along and months pass. Jenna starts to make a life for herself; Ray and Kate are taken off the hit and run case because they’ve done all they can do and then all hell breaks loose in a totally WTF fashion. You’ll know what I mean when you get there and from that moment on, it is a breathless race to the book’s conclusion. LOVED IT!
Date published: 2017-01-24
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Pretty Good Read This was a pretty good read by a debut author - I'll definitely pick up more by Mackintosh. The twist in the middle half of the book was fantastic, but the rest of the book kind of dragged out and was predictable.
Date published: 2017-01-24
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Almost a 5 This was a great book. Just when I thought I'd figured it out it took a surprising turn. I highly recommend it.
Date published: 2017-01-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Fantastic I couldn't put it down. Absolutely intriguing and action packed and emotional. I almost finished it in one sitting. Highly recommend
Date published: 2017-01-23
Rated 5 out of 5 by from amazing read one of those books that I couldn't put down. Must read!
Date published: 2017-01-23
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I couldn't put this book down I was emotional reading this book..that's how good it was. At one point while reading this book, I had to stop, take a deep breath and wipe away a tear. What a book.
Date published: 2017-01-21
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Story! This book kept me on the edge of my seat. I couldn't put it down! You think you know what's going on and then there's another twist. Looking forward to reading the other book by this author #plumreview
Date published: 2017-01-20
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Love Read this so fast, story pulls you in. And the twist is so good! #plumreview
Date published: 2017-01-20
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazing read! #plumreview Read this book as part of my book club and we all loved it! Could not put it down, and did not see all these twists coming! Highly recommend! #plumreview
Date published: 2017-01-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Love!!!!! I really enjoyed this book, so may twists, just when u think it's about one thing it twist on u. Shared with my sister!!! Great read.
Date published: 2017-01-16
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Page turner This is a book that you can't put down! This book made my palms sweat. The twists keep coming.
Date published: 2017-01-14
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Heartbreaking This booked pulled me in from the get go. So tragic and such surprises that you won't see coming!
Date published: 2017-01-14
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Twisty, Turny Once you get to the half way mark, you won't be able to put this one down! It is full of surprises that you won't see coming! I have already leant this out to two friends who have also loved it!
Date published: 2017-01-12
Rated 4 out of 5 by from AMAZING! I bought this as it was one of Heathers Picks (at 8 months preggo). At first, I thought the book was horribly slow so I stopped reading it, then baby came and I forgot about it. Eventually I saw it on my nightstand and thought, maybe I ought to return this pick as I really was not enjoying it. - However, I decided I will give it one more shot and if after few chapters I'm still bored I will return. WELL...needless to say the book was finished that night with an amazing twist! Moral of the story - this book starts really slow but if you keep going you will not be disappointed!
Date published: 2017-01-12
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Good... Really good... But not great I am a sucker for this genre. Any and every thriller is my kind of book. I liked the ending, but I was confused throughout the book... The main character is a little tough to follow. That said, it is definitely worth a read. It is a good story (with some twists you don't see coming!)
Date published: 2017-01-11
Rated 4 out of 5 by from A 2016 Favourite I really enjoyed this book and read it over a couple of days. The plot line and characters were interesting and believable, and I was hooked to the story almost right away. I'd definitely recommend this book, especially if you like modern British mysteries!
Date published: 2017-01-10
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazing read I found the book a little hard to get into at first. But by the middle, I was on the edge of my seat . the end was so unexpected I will never saw it coming. Great read!!
Date published: 2017-01-10
Rated 4 out of 5 by from very good book! At the start of the book it was a little slow.. but once I hit the middle I could not put this book down. Did not expect the ending at all.
Date published: 2017-01-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from enjoyed it This is a good book. You need to read!
Date published: 2017-01-08
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Would recommend It took me awhile to get into it, but once I did, I couldn't stop reading! The twist will leave you with your jaw dropping!
Date published: 2017-01-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from great read I really enjoyed this book, wasn't disappointed
Date published: 2017-01-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I let you go I read this book during the summer. At first I found the book a little hard to get into. Needless to say it most definitely became one of my favourite books. I absolutely loved her writing technique in this book, it kept you on edge and wanting more. It has a very dramatic plot twist that you will never see coming. I was speechless! I recommend that everyone reads this, you will not be disappointed.
Date published: 2017-01-06
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Read! I enjoyed this book so much that I read it all in a day. I just couldn't put it down! It was full of the twists and turns you would expect from a thriller, but I still could not guess the ending!
Date published: 2017-01-05
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Really Good This book keeps you on edge and has great twists. Be prepared to be surprised!
Date published: 2017-01-05
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Haunting Heartbreaking. A great twist
Date published: 2017-01-04
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Great read This book is a page turner. The twist is so unexpected.
Date published: 2017-01-04
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Page Turner Great twist, shock when the truth is revealed.
Date published: 2016-12-29
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I loved this! Phenomenal book with great twists and turns. A+
Date published: 2016-12-29
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Book I read this book in one sitting! The plot had so many twists that kept me guessing and intrigued. For anyone interested in the genre, this book is highly recommended.
Date published: 2016-12-29
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great Book This was a pretty quick read since I was unable to put it down... there were so many good twists since the beginning. My jaw was dropped to the very last page. Highly recommend!
Date published: 2016-12-26
Rated 5 out of 5 by from So good! I couldn't put it down! Going to suggest it to my Book Club ladies.
Date published: 2016-12-25
Rated 4 out of 5 by from such a good book i loved this book, i finished it in such a short period of time. amazing
Date published: 2016-12-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from such a good book i didn't want to put this down. i read it in a few days. great read from start to finish!
Date published: 2016-12-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Excellent book This was a real pager turner...I couldn't put it down. Interesting twists right to the end!
Date published: 2016-12-23
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Good book! Read it while back...really good book
Date published: 2016-12-23
Rated 5 out of 5 by from 5 stars loved this book! must read and a page turner
Date published: 2016-12-22
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Excellent read This book was suspenseful right to the very end. I was convinced that I was reading about how the mother of the lost child was coping with the tragedy but surprisingly it was not. An emotional story with a twist that keeps you reading and reading and reading until the very end.
Date published: 2016-12-22
Rated 5 out of 5 by from great read one of the best books I've read in 2016!
Date published: 2016-12-21
Rated 3 out of 5 by from A good read I enjoyed the twists. Will look into other books by this author.
Date published: 2016-12-20
Rated 5 out of 5 by from READ IT! ...Awesome. I'm so glad to see it on my shelf.
Date published: 2016-12-20
Rated 5 out of 5 by from couldn't put it down absolutely a "can't put down" book!!
Date published: 2016-12-19
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazing I couldn't put this one down! Great dramatic read
Date published: 2016-12-19
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I couldn't put it down! It didn't take long to get into the book. There were points where I felt sick and couldn't believe some of the things happening. At other points I was crying because of the emotions. It was such a great book, I finished it in 2 days!
Date published: 2016-12-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazing This book was one of the best I've read all year!
Date published: 2016-12-16
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Amazing i could not put the book down, such an amazing read!! it had a lot of heart pounding moments
Date published: 2016-12-15
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Heartbreaker with a Twist I Let you Go is a heartbreaking mystery with an unexpected twist. There was also some fantastic role reversal going on in this book; we have a working father trying to find balance between a demanding career and family, rather than the typical frazzled working mother. I love this, bravo Clare! I really enjoyed this book, and as a mother I felt the pain so deeply.
Date published: 2016-12-15
Rated 5 out of 5 by from i looooved this book Claire Mackintosh might be my new favourite. I couldn't put this down & had alot of heart pounding moments.
Date published: 2016-12-13
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazing read with unpredictable twist Great book that will keep you reading right until the end! Love books with unexpected twists!
Date published: 2016-12-12
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I loved this book so much! You know how sometimes when you are reading a suspense novel, you can sort of tell how things will unfold midway to the end. This is not the case with I Let You Go! In fact, at one point I had to go back and reread the first few chapters to make sense of what I was reading..because I had NOT expected this twist in the plot! I love it when a book surprises me! This was my first Clare Mackintosh novel but it won't be my last! Excellent writing and great story!
Date published: 2016-12-11
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Caution: Will finish in one day ! I really enjoyed this novel ! Despite the fact that there are more and more thrillers being written, this is definitely one to add to your list. A must-read.
Date published: 2016-12-11
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Great twist, very suspensful I Let You Go has a really compelling story and has a twist that even I couldn't have predicted. My only critique is that I'm growing a bit tired of these Gone Girl-esque thrillers.
Date published: 2016-12-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Captivating Read! Devoured this book in a day! I could not put it down once I started
Date published: 2016-12-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Couldn't put it down. Love the book from start to finish. Excellent read.
Date published: 2016-12-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from You wont be able to put it down! I love this book!! it was such an exhilarating read, took me only a few days to read as I wasnt able to put it down. Extremely well written and you'll be shocked at the end twist!
Date published: 2016-12-07
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great book I wasn't expecting the twist at all!
Date published: 2016-12-06
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Good read Makes your heart hurt for mothers out there. I liked the twist!
Date published: 2016-12-06
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Psych Was definatly a good read and a psychological thriller.
Date published: 2016-12-05
Rated 4 out of 5 by from A haunting thriller Clare Mackintosh's novel left me wanting more at the end. Although I'm usually pretty good at figuring out twists and turns, Mackintosh was able to surprise me. A good thriller with an exceptional twist.
Date published: 2016-12-05

Read from the Book

***This excerpt is from an advance uncorrected proof***Copyright © 2016 Clare MackintoshPROLOGUEThe wind flicks wet hair across her face, and she screws up her eyes against the rain. Weather like this makes everyone hurry; scurrying past on slippery pavements with chins buried into collars. Passing cars send spray over their shoes; the noise from the traffic making it impossible for her to hear more than a few words of the chattering update that began the moment the school gates opened. The words burst from him without a break, mixed up and back to front in the excitement of this new world into which he is growing. She makes out something about a best friend; a project on space; a new teacher, and she looks down and smiles at his excitement, ignoring the cold that weaves its way through her scarf. The boy grins back and tips up his head to taste the rain; wet eyelashes forming dark clumps around his eyes.“And I can write my name, Mummy!”“You clever boy,” she says, stopping to kiss him fiercely on his damp forehead. “Will you show me when you get home?”They walk as quickly as five-year-old legs will allow, her free hand holding his bag, which bangs against her knees.Nearly home.Headlights glint on wet tarmac, the dazzle blinding them every few seconds. Waiting for a break in the traffic they duck across the busy road, and she tightens her grip on the small hand inside the soft woolen glove, so he has to run to keep up. Sodden leaves cling to the railings, their bright colors darkening to a dull brown.They reach the quiet street where home lies just around the corner, its seductive warmth a welcome thought. Secure in the environs of her own neighborhood she lets go of his hand to push away the strands of wet hair from her eyes, laughing at the cascade of droplets it causes.“There,” she says, as they make the final turn. “I left the light on for us.” Across the street, a redbrick house. Two bedrooms, the tiniest kitchen,and a garden crammed with pots she always means to fill with flowers. Just the two of them.“I’ll race you, Mummy . . .”He never stops moving; full of energy from the second he wakes until the moment his head hits the pillow. Always jumping, always running.“Come on!”It happens in a heartbeat; the feeling of space by her side as he runs toward home, seeking out the warmth of the hall, with its porch-light glow. Milk; biscuit; twenty minutes of television; fish-fingers for tea. The routine they have fallen into so quickly, barely halfway through that first term at school.The car comes from nowhere. The squeal of wet brakes, the thud of a five- year-old boy hitting the windshield and the spin of his body before it slams onto the road. Running after him, in front of the still-moving car. Slipping and falling heavily onto outstretched hands, the impact taking her breath away.It’s over in a heartbeat.She crouches beside him, searching frantically for a pulse. Watches her breath form a solitary white cloud in the air. Sees the dark shadow form beneath his head and hears her own wail as though it comes from someone else. She looks up at the blurred windshield, its wipers sending arcs of water into the darkening night, and she screams at the unseen driver to help her.Leaning forward to warm the boy with her body, she holds her coat open over them both, its hem drinking surface water from the road. And as she kisses him and begs him to wake, the pool of yellow light that envelops them shrinks to a narrow beam; the car backs up the street. Engine whining in admonishment, the car makes two, three, four attempts to turn in the narrow street, scraping in its haste against one of the huge sycamore sentries lining the road.And then it is dark.             PART ONE  1Detective Inspector Ray Stevens stood next to the window and contemplated his office chair, on which an arm had been broken for at least a year. Until now he had simply taken the pragmatic approach of not leaning on the left side, but while he was at lunch someone had scrawled “Defective” in black marker pen across the back of it. Ray wondered if Business Support’s newfound enthusiasm for equipment audits would extend to a replacement, or whether he was destined to run Bristol CID from a chair that cast serious doubts over his credibility.Leaning forward to find a marker pen in his chaotic top drawer, Ray crouched down and changed the label to “Detective.” The door to his office opened and he hastily stood up, replacing the lid on the pen.“Ah, Kate, I was just . . .” He stopped, recognizing the look on her face almost before he saw the Command and Control printout in her hand. “What have you got?”“A hit-and-run in Fishponds, guv. Five-year-old boy killed.”Ray stretched out a hand for the piece of paper and scanned it while Kate stood awkwardly in the doorway. Fresh from shift, she had only been on CID for a couple of months and was still finding her feet. She was good though: better than she knew.“No registration number?”“Not as far as we know. Shift have got the scene contained and the skipper’s taking a statement from the child’s mother as we speak. She’s badly in shock, as you can imagine.”“Are you all right to stay late?” Ray asked, but Kate was nodding before he’d even finished the question. They exchanged half-smiles in mutual acknowledgement of the adrenaline rush it always felt so wrong to enjoy when something so horrific had happened.“Right then, let’s go.”They nodded a greeting to the throng of smokers clustered under cover by the back door.“All right, Stumpy?” Ray said. “I’m taking Kate out to the Fish- ponds hit-and-run. Can you get on to Area Intelligence and see if any- thing’s come in yet?”“Will do.” The older man took a final drag of his roll-up. Detective Sergeant Jake Owen had been called Stumpy for so much of his career that it was always a surprise to hear his full name read out in court. A man of few words, Stumpy had more war stories than he chose to share, and was without a shadow of a doubt Ray’s best DS. The two men had been on shift together for several years, and with a strength that belied his small stature, Stumpy was a handy crewmate to have on your side.In addition to Kate, Stumpy’s team included the steady Malcolm Johnson and young Dave Hillsdon, an enthusiastic but maverick DC, whose determined efforts to secure convictions sailed a little too close to the wind for Ray’s liking. Together they made a good team, and Kate was learning fast from them. She had a fiery passion that made Ray nostalgic for his days as a hungry DC, before seventeen years of bureaucracy had ground him down.Kate drove the unmarked Corsa through mounting rush-hour traffic to Fishponds. She was an impatient driver; tutting when a red light held them back, and craning her neck to see past a holdup. She was perpetually in motion: tapping fingers on the steering wheel, screwing up her nose, shifting in her seat. As the traffic started moving again, she leaned forward as though the movement would propel them forward faster.“Missing blues and twos?” Ray said.Kate grinned. “Maybe a bit.” There was eyeliner smudged around her eyes, but otherwise her face was clean of makeup. Dark brown curls fell messily about her face, despite the tortoiseshell clip presumably intended to hold them back.Ray fished for his mobile to make the necessary calls, confirming that the Collision Investigation Unit was en route, the duty superintendent had been informed, and that someone had called out the Ops wagon—a lumbering vehicle stuffed to the gunnels with tenting, emergency lights, and hot drinks. Everything had been done. In all honesty, he thought, it always had been, but as duty DI the buck stopped with him. There was usually a bit of hackle-rising from shift when CID turned up and started going over old ground, but that was just the way it had to be. They’d all been through it; even Ray, who had spent as little time in uniform as possible before moving on.He spoke to Control Room to let them know they were five minutes away, but didn’t call home. Ray had taken to phoning Mags instead on the rare occasion when he was going to be on time, which seemed a much more practical approach to the long hours the job demanded of him.As they rounded the corner Kate slowed the car to a crawl. Half a dozen police cars were strewn haphazardly down the street; lights throwing a blue glow across the scene every other second. Floodlights were mounted on metal tripods, their strong beams picking out the fine mist of rain, which had thankfully abated in the last hour.Kate had stopped on their way out of the station to grab a coat and exchange her heels for wellies. “Practicality before style,” she had laughed, throwing the shoes into her locker and pulling on the boots. Ray rarely gave much thought to either principle, but he wished now he’d at least brought a coat.They parked the car a hundred meters away from a large white tent, erected in an attempt to protect from the rain whatever evidence might have been left. One side of the tent was open, and inside they could see a crime scene investigator on her hands and knees, swabbing at something unseen. Farther up the road a second paper-suited figure was examining one of the huge trees that lined the road.As Ray and Kate drew near to the scene they were stopped by a young PC, his fluorescent jacket zipped so high Ray could barely make out a face between the peak of his hat and his collar.“Evening, sir. Do you need to come in? I’ll have to sign you in.” “No, thank you,” said Ray. “Can you tell me where your sergeant is?” “He’s at the mother’s house,” the PC said. He pointed down thestreet to a row of small terraced houses before retreating into his col- lar. “Number four,” came the muffled afterthought.“God, that’s a miserable job,” said Ray, as he and Kate walked away. “I remember doing a twelve-hour scene watch in the pouring rain when I was a probationer, then getting told off by the DCI for not smiling when he turned up at eight o’clock the next morning.”Kate laughed. “Is that why you specialized?”“Not entirely,” Ray said, “but it was certainly part of the appeal. No, it was mainly because I was sick of passing all the big jobs over to the specialists and never seeing anything through to the end. How about you?”“Sort of similar.”They reached the row of houses the PC had pointed toward. Kate carried on talking as they looked for number four.“I like dealing with the more serious jobs. But mainly it’s because I get bored easily. I like complicated investigations that make my head hurt to figure them out. Cryptic crosswords rather than simple ones. Does that make sense?”“Perfect sense,” said Ray. “Although I’ve always been useless at cryptic crosswords.”“There’s a knack,” said Kate. “I’ll teach you sometime. Here we are, number four.”The front door was smartly painted and slightly ajar. Ray pushed it open and called inside. “CID. All right if we come in?”“In the sitting room,” came the response.They wiped their feet and walked up the narrow hallway, pushing past an overloaded coat rack, beneath which sat a pair of child’s red wellies, neatly placed beside an adult pair.The child’s mother was sitting on a small sofa, her eyes fixed on the blue drawstring school bag clutched on her lap.“I’m Detective Inspector Ray Stevens. I’m so sorry to hear about your son.”She looked up at him, twisting the drawstring so tightly around her hands the cord gouged red grooves in her skin. “Jacob,” she said, dry-eyed. “His name is Jacob.”Perched on a kitchen chair next to the sofa, a uniformed sergeant was balancing paperwork on his lap. Ray had seen him around the station but didn’t know his name. He glanced at his badge.“Brian, would you mind taking Kate into the kitchen and filling her in on what you’ve got so far? I’d like to ask the witness a few questions, if that’s okay? It won’t take long. Perhaps you could make her a cup of tea at the same time.”From the reaction on Brian’s face, it was clear this was the last thing he wanted to do, but he stood up and left the room with Kate, no doubt to moan to her about CID pulling rank. Ray didn’t dwell on it.“I’m sorry to ask you even more questions, but it’s vital we get as much information as we can, as early as possible.”Jacob’s mother nodded, but didn’t look up.“I understand you couldn’t see the car’s number plate?”“It happened so quickly,” she said, the words triggering a release of emotion. “He was talking about school, and then . . . I only let go for a second.” She pulled the drawstring cord tighter round her hand, and Ray watched the color drain from her fingers. “It was so fast. The car came so fast.”She answered his questions quietly, giving no sign of the frustration she must surely be feeling. Ray hated causing such intrusion, but he had no choice.“What did the driver look like?” “I couldn’t see inside,” she said. “Were there passengers?”“I couldn’t see inside the car,” she repeated, her voice dull and wooden. “Right,” said Ray. Where on earth were they going to start?She looked at him. “Will you find him? The man who killed Jacob. Will you find him?” Her voice cracked and the words fell apart, morphing into a low moan. She bent forward, hugging the school bag into her stomach, and Ray felt a tightening in his chest. He took a deep breath, forcing the feeling away.“We’ll do everything we can,” he said, despising himself for the cliché. Kate came back from the kitchen with Brian behind her, carrying a mug of tea. “All right if I finish this statement now, guv?” he asked.Stop upsetting my witness, you mean, Ray thought. “Yes, thank you—sorry for interrupting. Got everything we need, Kate?”Kate nodded. She looked pale, and he wondered if Brian had said something to upset her. In a year or so he would know her as well as he knew the rest of the team, but he hadn’t quite sussed her out yet. She was outspoken, he knew that much, not too nervous to put her point across at team meetings, and she learned fast.They left the house and walked in silence back to the car.“Are you okay?” he asked, although it was clear she wasn’t. Her jaw was rigid; the color had completely drained from her face.“Fine,” Kate said, but her voice was thick and Ray realized she was trying not to cry.“Hey,” he said, reaching out and putting an awkward arm round her shoulder, “is it the job?” Over the years Ray had built a defensive mechanism against the fall-out of cases like this one. Most police officers had one—it’s why you had to turn a blind eye to some of the jokes bandied about the cafeteria—but perhaps Kate was different.She nodded and took a deep, juddering breath. “I’m sorry, I’m not normally like this, I promise. I’ve done dozens of death knocks, but . . . God, he was five years old! Apparently Jacob’s father never wanted any- thing to do with him, so it’s always been the two of them. I can’t imagine what she’s going through.” Her voice cracked, and Ray felt the tightness in his chest return. His coping mechanism relied on focusing on the investigation—on the hard evidence before them—and not dwelling too deeply on the emotions of the people involved. If he thought too long about how it must feel to watch your child die in your arms, he would be no use to anyone, not least to Jacob and his mother. Ray’s thoughts flicked involuntarily to his own children, and he had an irrational desire to call home and check they were both safe.“Sorry.” Kate swallowed and gave an embarrassed smile. “I promise I won’t always be like this.”“Hey, it’s okay,” Ray said. “We’ve all been there.”She raised an eyebrow. “Even you? I didn’t have you down as the sensitive type, boss.”“I have my moments.” Ray squeezed her shoulder before taking his arm away. He didn’t think he’d ever actually shed tears at a job, but he’d come pretty close. “You going to be okay?”“I’ll be fine. Thank you.”As they pulled away, Kate looked back at the scene, where the CSIs were still hard at work. “What sort of bastard kills a five-year- old boy, then drives off?”Ray didn’t hesitate. “That’s exactly what we’re going to find out.”     2 I don’t want a cup of tea, but I take it anyway. Cradling the mug in both hands I press my face into the steam until it scalds me. Pain pricks my skin, deadening my cheeks and stinging my eyes. I fight the instinct to pull away; I need the numbness to blur the scenes that won’t leave my head.“Shall I get you something to eat?”He towers over me and I know I should look up, but I can’t bear to. How can he offer me food and drink as though nothing has happened? A wave of nausea wells up inside me and I swallow the acrid taste back down. He blames me for it. He hasn’t said so, but he doesn’t have to, it’s there in his eyes. And he’s right—it was my fault. We should have gone home a different way; I shouldn’t have talked; I should have stopped him . . .“No, thank you,” I say quietly, “I’m not hungry.”The accident plays on a loop in my head. I want to press pause but the film is relentless: his body slamming against the windshield time after time after time. I raise the mug to my face again, but the tea has cooled and the warmth on my skin isn’t enough to hurt. I can’t feel the tears forming, but fat droplets burst as they hit my knees. I watch them soak into my jeans, and scratch my nail across a smear of clay on my thigh.I look around the room at the home I have spent so many years creating. The curtains, bought to match the cushions; the artwork, some of my own, some I found in galleries and loved too much to leave behind. I thought I was making a home, but I was only ever building a house.My hand hurts. I can feel my pulse beating rapid and light in my wrist. I’m glad of the pain. I wish it were more. I wish it had been me the car hit.He’s talking again. Police are out everywhere looking for the car . . . the papers will appeal for witnesses . . . it will be on the news . . .The room spins and I fix my gaze on the coffee table, nodding when it seems appropriate. He strides two paces to the window, then back again. I wish he would sit down—he’s making me nervous. My hands are shaking and I put down my untouched tea before I drop it, but I clatter the china against the glass tabletop. He shoots me a look of frustration.“Sorry,” I say. There’s a metallic taste in my mouth, and I realize I’ve bitten through the inside of my lip. I swallow the blood, not wanting to draw attention to myself by asking for a tissue.Everything has changed. The instant the car slid across the wet tarmac, my whole life changed. I can see everything clearly, as though I am standing on the sidelines. I can’t go on like this.When I wake, for a second I’m not sure what this feeling is. Every- thing is the same, and yet everything has changed. Then, before I have even opened my eyes, there is a rush of noise in my head, like an underground train. And there it is: playing out in Technicolor scenes I can’t pause or mute. I press the heels of my palms into my temples as though I can make the images subside through brute force alone, but still they come, thick and fast, as if without them I might forget.On my bedside cabinet is the brass alarm clock Eve gave me when I went to university—“Because you’ll never get to lectures, otherwise”— and I’m shocked to see it’s ten thirty already. The pain in my hand has been overshadowed by a headache that blinds me if I move my head too fast, and as I peel myself from the bed every muscle aches.I pull on yesterday’s clothes and go into the garden without stop- ping to make a coffee, even though my mouth is so dry it’s an effort to swallow. I can’t find my shoes, and the frost stings my feet as I make my way across the grass. The garden isn’t large, but winter is on its way, and by the time I reach the other side I can’t feel my toes.My garden studio has been my sanctuary for the last five years. Little more than a shed to the casual observer, it is where I come to think, to work, and to escape. The wooden floor is stained from the lumps of clay that drop from my wheel, firmly placed in the center of the room, where I can move around it and stand back to view my work with a critical eye. Three sides of the shed are lined with shelves on which I place my sculptures, in an ordered chaos only I could understand. Works in progress, here; fired but not painted, here; waiting to go to customers, here. Hundreds of separate pieces, yet if I shut my eyes, I can still feel the shape of each one beneath my fingers, the wetness of the clay on my palms.I take the key from its hiding place under the window ledge and open the door. It’s worse than I thought. The floor lies unseen beneath a carpet of broken clay; rounded halves of pots ending abruptly in angry jagged peaks. The wooden shelves are all empty, my desk swept clear of work, and the tiny figurines on the window ledge are unrecognizable, crushed into shards that glisten in the sunlight.By the door lies a small statuette of a woman. I made her last year, as part of a series of figures I produced for a shop in Clifton. I had wanted to produce something real, something as far from perfection as it was possible to get, and yet for it still to be beautiful. I made ten women, each with their own distinctive curves, their own bumps and scars and imperfections. I based them on my mother; my sister; girls I taught at pottery class; women I saw walking in the park. This one is me. Loosely, and not so anyone would recognize, but nevertheless me. Chest a little too flat; hips a little too narrow; feet a little too big. A tangle of hair twisted into a knot at the base of the neck. I bend down and pick her up. I had thought her intact, but as I touch her the clay moves beneath my hands, and I’m left with two broken pieces. I look at them, then I hurl them with all my strength toward the wall, where they shatter into tiny pieces that shower down onto my desk.I take a deep breath and let it slowly out.I’m not sure how many days have passed since the accident, or how I have moved through the week when I feel as though I’m dragging my legs through molasses. I don’t know what it is that makes me decide today is the day. But it is. I take only what will fit into my holdall, knowing that if I don’t go right now, I might not be able to leave at all. I walk haphazardly about the house, trying to imagine never being here again. The thought is both terrifying and liberating. Can I do this? Is it possible to simply walk away from one life and start another? I have to try: it is my only chance of getting through this in one piece.My laptop is in the kitchen. It holds photos; addresses; important information I might one day need and hadn’t thought to save else- where. I don’t have time to think about doing this now, and although it’s heavy and awkward I add it to my bag. I don’t have much room left, but I can’t leave without one final piece of my past. I discard a jumper and a fistful of T-shirts, making room instead for the wooden box in which my memories are hidden, crammed one on top of another beneath the cedar lid. I don’t look inside—I don’t need to. The assortment of teenage diaries, erratically kept and with regretted pages torn from their bindings; an elastic band full of concert tickets; my graduation certificate; clippings from my first exhibition. And the photos of the son I loved with an intensity that seemed impossible. Precious photographs. So few for someone so loved. Such a small impact on the world, yet the very center of my own.Unable to resist, I open the box and pick up the uppermost photo: a Polaroid taken by a soft-spoken midwife on the day he was born. He is a tiny scrap of pink, barely visible beneath the white hospital blanket. In the photo my arms are fixed in the awkward pose of the new mother, drowning in love and exhaustion. It had all been so rushed, so frightening, so unlike the books I had devoured during my pregnancy, but the love I had to offer never faltered. Suddenly unable to breathe, I place the photo back and push the box into my holdall.Jacob’s death is front-page news. It screams at me from the petrol station I pass, from the corner shop, and from the bus-stop queue where I stand as though I am no different than anyone else. As though I am not running away.Everyone is talking about the accident. How could it have happened? Who could have done it? Each bus stop brings fresh news, and the snatches of gossip float back across our heads, impossible for me to avoid.It was a black car. It was a red car.The police are close to an arrest. The police have no leads.A woman sits next to me. She opens her newspaper and suddenly it feels as though someone is pressing on my chest. Jacob’s face stares at me; bruised eyes rebuking me for not protecting him, for letting him die. I force myself to look at him, and a hard knot tightens in my throat. My vision blurs and I can’t read the words, but I don’t need to—I’ve seen a version of this article in every paper I’ve passed today. The quotes from devastated teachers; the notes on flowers by the side of the road; the inquest—opened and then adjourned. A second photo shows a wreath of yellow chrysanthemums on an impossibly tiny coffin. The woman tuts and starts talking: half to herself, I think, but perhaps she feels I will have a view.“Terrible, isn’t it? And just before Christmas, too.” I say nothing.“Driving off like that without stopping.” She tuts again. “Mind you,” she continues, “five years old. What kind of mother allows a child that age to cross a road on his own?”I can’t help it—I let out a sob. Without my realizing, hot tears stream down my cheeks and into the tissue pushed gently into my hand. “Poor lamb,” the woman says, as though soothing a small child.It’s not clear if she means me, or Jacob. “You can’t imagine, can you?” But I can, and I want to tell her that, whatever she is imagining, it is a thousand times worse. She finds me another tissue, crumpled but clean, and turns the page of her newspaper to read about the Clifton Christmas lights switch-on.I never thought I would run away. I never thought I would need to.

Bookclub Guide

1) How does the title, I Let You Go, link to the themes in the novel?   2) The author of I Let You Go is a former police officer. Do you think this is evident in the storytelling?   3) How does the author pull the wool over the reader’s eyes in preparation for the first major twist? How did you feel when you reached it?   4) Discuss the relationship between Ray and Kate.   5) Some of the scenes in I Let You Go present a high level of violence. Are these sections hard to read? Are they necessary for the story? Why did the author include them?   6) The ending is intentionally ambiguous: what do you think happened at the end of the story, and do you think it was the right ending? How would you have resolved the story?   7) What does the future hold for Jenna?

Editorial Reviews

“Chilling, compelling, and compassionate.”—Paula Hawkins, #1 New York Timesbestselling author of The Girl on the Train “Astonishingly good.”—Lee Child, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author of Make Me   “Genuinely shocking...[A] cunning psychological thriller.”—Marilyn Stasio, The New York Times Book Review   ‘“On the level of the movie The Sixth Sense for its cleverness...This kind of sharp, cunning writing makes one eagerly look forward to Mackintosh’s next novel.”—Shelf Awareness   “An intense psychological thriller…[that] revels in surprises and twists…Outstanding.”—Associated Press “You'll be shocked by the twist in the middle of I Let You Go—just don't spoil it for everyone else!”—PopSugar   “Thrilling...a tense psychological thriller.”—Real Simple   “Jaw-dropping...the kind of book that sticks in the reader’s mind well after the final sentence.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review) “A wonderfully layered thriller that skillfully builds from that one tragic event. It makes a good match for fans of Sophie Hannah and Erin Kelly.”—Library Journal (starred review)    “Mind-bending.”—Booklist   “Addictive...one thrill after another.”—Samantha Hayes, author of What You Left Behind