The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive In An Extrovert World by Marti Olsen LaneyThe Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive In An Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney

The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive In An Extrovert World

byMarti Olsen Laney

Paperback | February 1, 2002

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At least one out of four people prefers to avoid the limelight, tends to listen more than they speak, feels alone in large groups, and requires lots of private time to restore their energy. They're introverts, and here is the book to help them boost their confidence while learning strategies for successfully living in an extrovert world.

After dispelling common myths about introverts-they're not necessarily shy, aloof, or antisocial--The Introvert Advantage explains the real issues. Introverts are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation-chitchat, phone calls, parties, office meetings-can easily become "too much."

The Introvert Advantage dispels introverts' belief that something is wrong with them and instead helps them recognize their inner strengths-their analytical skills, ability to think outside the box, and strong powers of concentration. It helps readers understand introversion and shows them how to determine where they fall on the introvert/extrovert continuum. It provides tools to improve relationships with partners, kids, colleagues, and friends, offering dozens of tips, including 10 ways to talk less and communicate more, 8 ways to showcase your abilities at work, how to take a child's temperament temperature, and strategies for socializing. Finally, it shows how to not just survive, but thrive-how to take advantage of the introvert's special qualities to create a life that's just right for the introvert temperament, to discover new ways to expand their energy reserves, and even how, when necessary, to confidently become a temporary extrovert.
Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is a researcher, educator, author, and psychotherapist. One of America’s foremost authorities on introversion, she speaks and leads workshops on the topic in the United States and Canada. She and her extroverted husband have two grown daughters and four grandchildren. They live in Portland, Oregon.
Title:The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive In An Extrovert WorldFormat:PaperbackDimensions:336 pages, 9 × 6 × 0.75 inPublished:February 1, 2002Publisher:Workman Publishing CoLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0761123695

ISBN - 13:9780761123699

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Rated 3 out of 5 by from It's okay Expected more from this book by its name. As I saw another person said, it is very simplistic and I wish it gave more helpful tips about how we can use our strengths in situations where introverts typically struggle. #plumreview. Still enjoyable but not as expected.
Date published: 2017-04-12
Rated 2 out of 5 by from Can't compare to Quiet If you were speaking to a class of introverted kindergarteners, this would suit nicely. Compared to "Quiet" which was a life changer for me, this was so very simplistic that it came close to being patronizing. Instead of little lists of what to do and what we are not, how about celebrating our strengths? At 43, I know how to take walks and eat properly. I also know how to concentrate. Despite personality types, we are also individuals with unique characteristics. This book was just very dumbed down and disappointing.
Date published: 2016-12-17
Rated 5 out of 5 by from GREAT Simple and easy to read! Helped a lot!
Date published: 2016-11-29
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Wonderful This book really helped me get through a really tough time in my life! Such a great read!
Date published: 2016-11-24
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Just introverted all these years! After over 40 years of marriage, I gave this to my parents to read. My dad (extroverted) says he FINALLY understands my mom (very introverted). I grew up thinking there was something seriously wrong with me when I chose to spend time at home instead of going out all the time. Now I know I am wired differently than extroverts and have a lot to contribute to the world. This will be required reading for anyone who marries my daughters (both more on the introverted side).
Date published: 2015-11-25
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Excellent Well written and easy to understand. This book gives good descriptions of behaviours and explains why. It also has strategies for coping in the real world. I learned quite a bit about myself and others.
Date published: 2014-01-10
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Very helpful tool I found this book to be both inspiring and useful, helping to understand the physiological differences between introverts and others. There are some key tools for discovering talents that introverts can tend towards ( thoughtfulness, perseverance...) and encouragement about how to relate to people who are more extroverted. It is a valuable tool to help both introverts and extroverts understand and cooperate better.
Date published: 2013-12-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Excellent Resource You don’t have to be an Introvert to get something from this book. Dr. Laney explains in very clear language how the brains of Introverts and Extroverts differ, and why they have such different needs. Written as a coping manual for the Introvert minority, it is also full of tips for the Extroverts who live or work with them. There are strategies and advice for all in the chapters on work, communication, relationships and parenting. Whether you are new to type and temperament or have years of experience, you can learn from this book. Although I have been facilitating MBTI workshops for 15 years, it deepened my understanding and I recommend it to my clients on a regular basis.
Date published: 2009-11-28
Rated 5 out of 5 by from A Must Read for Introverts and those Living with Them This book is incredibly useful for introverts, but extroverts can benefit from this book as well. Our world encourages extroverted thought and behaviour when it is perfectly fine to be who we are no matter where we find ourselves on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Those of us who find ourselves to be more introverted find it is harder to deal with the extroverted world, and this is precisely the book to show us how to deal with it and get the best out of it. This book shows how introverts can better manage one's lifestyle and take full advantage of one's little quirks. Extroverts reading this book can also understand what it is like to be introverted and learn how to better interact with them to get the best out of a relationship, whether that may be a romantic or professional relationship. Friends and family can definitely benefit too. Readers can also get a glimpse at how to handle an introverted child. Read it from cover to cover or start reading it from a random page. Whether you're introverted or you must interact with one on a daily basis, this book is recommended to help build better relationships. Visit for more book reviews.
Date published: 2009-06-21
Rated 4 out of 5 by from For anyone who thinks they understand introversion! This book is an incredible resource for those who want to know what makes an introvert tick. It highlights surprising introvert traits and challenges, and explains some of the brain chemistry responsible. In addition to descriptive information, there are tips provided both for introverts struggling to keep up with their lives AND extroverts who are puzzled by introverted behaviour. These range from how to manage your energy to working with colleagues of opposite disposition. I highly recommend this book to anyone who self-identifies as introverted, or knows an introvert (i.e. everyone)!
Date published: 2009-01-29
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Great relationship builder! After living with an extreme extrovert and constantly feeling that I was socially inadequate, this book helped me understand myself, increase my confidence and self-esteem. With these strengths and the book's articulated points, I was able to enter a dialogue with my husband that resulted in a greater mutual understanding and appreciation for our differences. It is easy to read and follow. I love the highlighted points and lists of strategies. It will continue to sit on our reference shelf.
Date published: 2006-05-30
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Life changing The relief that comes with learning that so many of those 'annoying' characteristics of one's personality and physical health are actually neurological, genetic and unchangeable is amazing! It frees up so much energy to the task of adjusting, compensating and pacing that life gets much easier and ever so much more enjoyable for you and the people around you. If you've ever been told you are 'secretive', 'anti-social' or a 'party pooper' this book is for you (because you really are not any of those things).
Date published: 2006-05-15
Rated 5 out of 5 by from I could totally relate to this book! This is an excellent book. I couldn't put it down! It's an easy read with so many stories that anyone who deals with introversion everyday could identify with. It was very informative, insightful, and funny. I would recomend the book to anyone who is an introvert or anyone who is an extrovert and doesn't understand us introverts, and you'll realize how truly normal we are!
Date published: 2002-12-22

Read from the Book

Self-Assessment for Introverts Take the test for introversion on a day when you are feeling relaxed and not stressed out. Pick a cozy nook where you won't be interrupted. Consider each statement in terms of what is generally true or false for you, not how you wish you were or how you are some of the time. Don't analyze or think too deeply about each statement. Your first impression is usually the best. For an outside view of yourself, it can be enlightening to have a partner or friend answer for you. Compare your results with your friend's score. If the two tallies differ, talk about both of your views. Answer the following questions T or F, then add up your True answers and check the scoring at the end of the list to see if you're an introvert, fall in the middle of the continuum, or are an extrovert. -- When I need to rest, I prefer to spend time along or with one or two close people rather than with a group. -- When I work on projects, I like to have larger uninterrupted time periods rather than smaller chunks. -- I sometimes rehearse things before speaking, occasionally writing notes for myself. -- In general, I like to listen more than I like to talk. -- People sometimes think I'm quiet, mysterious, aloof, or calm. -- I like to share special occasion with just one person or a few close friends, rather than have big celebrations. -- I usually need to think before I respond or speak. -- I tend to notice details many people don't see. -- If two people have just had a fight, I feel the tension in the air. -- If I say I will do something, I almost always do it. -- I feel anxious if I have a deadline or pressure to finish a project. -- I can "zone out" if too much is going on. -- I like to watch an activity for a while before I decide to join it. -- I form lasting relationships. -- I don't like to interrupt others; I don't like to be interrupted. -- When I take in lots of information, it takes me a while to sort it out. -- I don't like overstimulating environments. I can't imagine why folks want to go to horror movies or go on roller coasters. -- I sometimes have strong reactions to smells, tastes, foods, weather, noises, etc. -- I am creative and/or imaginative. -- I feel drained after social situations, even when I enjoy myself. -- I prefer to be introduced rather than to introduce others. -- I can become grouchy if I'm around people or activities too long. -- I often feel uncomfortable in new surroundings. -- I like people to come to my home, but I don't like them to stay too long. -- I often dread returning phone calls. -- I find my mind sometimes goes blank when I meet people or when I am asked to speak unexpectedly. -- I talk slowly or have gaps in my words, especially if I am tired or if I am trying to speak and think at once. -- I don't think of casual acquaintances as friends. -- I feel as if I can't show other people my work or ideas until they are fully formulated. -- Other people may surprise me by thinking I am smarter than I think I am. Add up the number of Trues. Then read the following to see where you fall. 20-29 True: Pretty darn introverted. As a result, it is extremely important for you to understand how to keep your energy flowing and how our brain processes information. You relate to life through your ideas, impressions, hopes and values. You are not at the mercy of your external environment. This book can help you use your inner knowledge and create your own path. 10-19 True: Somewhere in the middle. Like being ambidextrous, you are both introverted and extroverted. You may feel torn between needing to be alone and wanting to be out and about. So it's very helpful to notice when and how you consistently feel more energized. You judge yourself by your own thoughts and feelings and by the standards of other people. This gives you a broad view, but at times you may get caught up in seeing both sides of a situation and not know where you stand. It is important to learn to assess your temperament so you can maintain your energy and balance.1-9 True: You are more extroverted. You judge yourself in the light of the values and reality of others. You work within the bounds of what exists to bring about change. As you reach midlife and your body slows down, you may surprise yourself by wanting to take a break from socializing or needing time to yourself and then not knowing what to do. You can develop techniques to help yourself remember what is best for you to do when you need solitude. To do this you will have to balance your extroverting skills by learning more introverting skills.