Gods Behaving Badly by Marie PhillipsGods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips

Gods Behaving Badly

byMarie Phillips

Paperback | October 28, 2008

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From Marie Phillips, hailed by the Guardian Unlimited website as a “hot author” destined to “break through” in 2007, comes a highly entertaining novel set in North London, where the Greek gods have been living in obscurity since the seventeenth century.

Being immortal isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Life’s hard for a Greek god in the twenty-first century: nobody believes in you any more, even your own family doesn’t respect you, and you’re stuck in a dilapidated hovel in North London with too many siblings and not enough hot water. But for Artemis (goddess of hunting, professional dog walker), Aphrodite (goddess of beauty, telephone sex operator) and Apollo (god of the sun, TV psychic) there’s no way out… until a meek cleaner and her would-be boyfriend come into their lives and turn the world upside down.

Gods Behaving Badly is that rare thing, a charming, funny, utterly original novel that satisfies the head and the heart.

From the Hardcover edition.
Marie Phillips is a Cambridge anthropology graduate who left her job at the BBC to write and, until recently, she worked in a bookshop in Central London. She writes a popular blog, which has just now acquired the subtitle The Increasingly Inaccurately Named Blog of a Soon-to-Be Published Writer. She lives in London, England.From the Ha...
Title:Gods Behaving BadlyFormat:PaperbackDimensions:288 pages, 7.98 × 5.24 × 0.74 inPublished:October 28, 2008Publisher:Random House of CanadaLanguage:English

The following ISBNs are associated with this title:

ISBN - 10:0307355934

ISBN - 13:9780307355935

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Rated 3 out of 5 by from O.k. The hype was better than the book. O.k.story and some good humour but only a single story line, no build up to tension , or emotional release at the end
Date published: 2018-02-19
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Loved it! This is one of my favorites! I love the how she takes the Greek Gods and puts them in modern day London; she gives them jobs, human issues, and of course a quest. The perfect weekend read
Date published: 2017-12-07
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Clever A cute take on what the greek gods would be like in today's world. Easy read.
Date published: 2017-09-08
Rated 5 out of 5 by from A creative, funny, thoroughly entertaining book I have read this and plan to buy it just to own a copy as I loved it so much. Brilliant concept and executed perfectly.
Date published: 2017-08-01
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Amazingly funny GREAT BOOK from page one. So funny and an interesting twist on classic characters that u want to finish it in one sitting.
Date published: 2016-12-21
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Funny book This book was a light and funny read, it is a good beach read.
Date published: 2016-12-16
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Entertaining and a Fun Take on Greek Mythology I don't normally read comedy, and I don't know that I'll race back to read something intended to make me laugh, but this was a genuinely fun read. Lighthearted until it wasn't, this book does exactly what it promises to. Gives a funny, modern twist to Greek gods and myth
Date published: 2016-11-23
Rated 2 out of 5 by from Not good value I could have easily bypassed this book but the idea of gods and goddesses living in modern times intrigued me. It really was not what I had imagined. There was a bit of a story but it never really grabbed my attention or lived up to what I imagined. I regret that I paid what I did, I should obviously try previews of unknown authors. The writing style was very simplistic and the story seemed to drag quite a bit. I would suggest that anyone thinking of reading this to try the preview first!
Date published: 2015-06-07
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Gods Behaving Badly This is a clever and witty book about the possibility of the Greek Pantheon living perhaps not so well in London. It is loads of fun, adventurous and amusing. The read is entertaining right to its very satisfying end.
Date published: 2015-01-23
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Fun and sinful An enjoyable look at the Greek gods that will make you smile knowingly whenever the characters do something in line with their mythology. A great ride, although it slows down a bit towards the end.
Date published: 2014-11-12
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Gods Behaving Badly Hilarious and engaging
Date published: 2014-10-23
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Quick witted pleasure Thoroughly enjoyed this fast paced, dry humoured quick witted romp... Would make an interesting screen play... A pleasure...
Date published: 2014-06-25
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Read it with a Smile Nice, easy, entertaining read.
Date published: 2014-02-25
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Hilarious! As silly as the book might be, it portrays what I think would be an accurate description of what the Greek gods would be like in modern times. With so many reality TV shows based around a variety of personalities living under one roof, this book goes the extra mile of entertainment. If you're a Greek mythology lover and have the guilty pleasure of watching reality TV shows, I highly recommend this read to relax, unwind and enjoy the drama of your favourite Greek deities.
Date published: 2013-07-14
Rated 2 out of 5 by from Cute but over-rated A bit of fluff to cheer my day between world suffering and pandemics. Gods Behaving Badly answers the question: Whatever happened to those old Greek gods once everyone stopped believing in them? An amusing look at the ultimate dysfunctional family struggling to get along in modern-day London...it doesn't take much to draw parallels between the mythic characters in the book and people in our own lives (sadly). If you don't know Greek mythology, don't worry about it. Just think Kardashians or Osbournes but with incredible supernatural power. But you'll get a little more out of the book if you're familiar with the mythological context. Homer himself (the writer, not the cartoon character) couldn't have come up with this on his best day."
Date published: 2011-02-23
Rated 3 out of 5 by from gods behaving sadly So the Olympian gods aren't as popular as they used to be. They live in a dirty, broken down house in London, have to take jobs (phone sex operator--Aphrodite, dog walker--Artemis, TV psychic--Apollo, sleazy bar owner--Dionysus) just to pay for basic amenities, they're lives are boring, boring, boring, and they're running out of powers. And then there's the humans. Alice, a timid cleaning lady in love with her friend Neil, an engineer who is also madly in love with Alice. The books starts out pretty fast paced, having Alice and Neil attend a taping of Apollo's TV show, while Eros (Cupid) shoots a love arrow at Apollo, who proceeds to fall in love with Alice. But then it all slows down from there. Alice and Neil are boring, plain and simple. The gods have boring lives, and therefore it's incredibly boring reading about it. I felt sad for all the characters and didn't really care what happened to them. I tried to like this book more, but I just couldn't. It isn't "hilarious" as described (I don't think I ever once smiled or even thought to myself that something was funny), but it was sort of clever at times. All in all, it could have been better developed. It wasn't that original and I've read better like it.
Date published: 2009-10-08
Rated 1 out of 5 by from Great concept, disappointing reality I thought this sounded like a really clever and interesting premise - the Greek Gods from Olympus trapped in modern-day London, losing their powers and all sharing a broken-down house. Unfortunately, the book just doesn't live up to it's potential. The characters are painfully unlikable, and the story is just not that interesting. I have read other books about the Greek Gods, and they are always selfish and clueless about the mortals they came into contact with, but there can be a whimsy and tongue-in-cheek flavour to that self-absorbtion, which makes reading about them fun and entertaining. Unfortunately, that flavour is completely missing from this book. Even the mortal characters are so pathetic and whiny and unfortunate that you just don't care how mean the Gods are to them! This was a big disappointment.
Date published: 2009-07-23
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Clever and entertaining Very funny and clever. You can't help but fall in love with those silly gods and their mortal friends. An easy entertaining read.
Date published: 2009-06-25
Rated 2 out of 5 by from It was ok but I was hoping for more. I picked this one up because I thought it had such an interesting concept. What do Gods do in a modern world full of people who have forgotten they exist? It started off quite funny, I liked their lack of concern for mortals & the jobs they managed to come up with to survive. However, it wasn’t enough, by the middle the story simply fell flat. It continued with more of the same jokes with characters, Gods & Mortals alike, who were simply not that likeable. Also, by the midpoint in the novel, the solution to “the problem” will be obvious to anyone who reads sci-fi/fantasy/mythology/fairy tales. This makes for a pretty anti-climatic ending… Overall, it was a quick, simple story that I doubt I'll read again.
Date published: 2009-06-17
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Gods Behaving, well, like Gods This book made me laugh a lot. I had to re-read it and savour it to catch the references as I tore through it the first time. Fast, funny and with its own logic-anyone read it and have any suggestions for a book that sounds similar?
Date published: 2009-06-10
Rated 2 out of 5 by from Meh.... Prior to reading this book I thought the concept sounded great and that it would be a really fun book, however, the story was just poorly executed. I found that the god characters were pretty boring and didn't really find them interesting at all. In fact, I looked forward to reading the chapters about the mortals rather than the gods. I thought that there would be more interaction between the gods and mortals, but the gods really only interact with each other. Overall, it took me awhile to get through it simply because it wasn't interesting at all until the last few chapters. I probably wouldn't recommend this book to anyone, there are far more entertaining ones out there.
Date published: 2009-05-09
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Lots of Fun Is this book at times senseless, mindless and weird? - YES, but it is fun, enjoyable and pleasure to read. Phillips tells the story of how the Greek gods are living and coping in modern times, living in a flat in London. No one believes or knows of their existence. Due to their laziness, their place is a mess. So they have to hire a cleaning lady. From there, the fun starts. The best part of the book is how Phillips adapts each god's "special power" to what contemporary career they are doing. It is an enormously fun book, with some great laughs.
Date published: 2009-04-12
Rated 4 out of 5 by from A Twist I love Myths...and I also LOVE Greek Gods. This book was made for anyone who loved stories of Gods and Goddess while growing up. That and after reading this book you couldn't help but want to hug Apollo and thank him for the sun .... good, happy, fun, silly, read!
Date published: 2009-03-30
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips An imaginative first novel for Marie Phillips, Gods Behaving Badly is a unique take on what happens when belief in the Greek gods no longer exists. They move to London. They become bored and disrupt the lives of mortals. Immortal and immoral, Apollo is a TV psychic and all-around tomcat, Aphrodite is a telephone sex operator, and Dionysus owns the Bacchanalia nightclub. A little too much promiscuity for my personal taste, but what else are you going to do with the characters of Apollo and Aphrodite? They and almost all of the gods and goddesses live in a crumbling, ancient house that barely contains them. Artemis, goddess of hunting and chastity, and currently professional dog-walker, appears to be somewhat more rational than the others. Eros has taken up Christianity to the disgust of his mother, Aphrodite. It appears that most of the family do some type of work. Enter two mortals, probably the most non-intimidating and ordinary of the species, attending Apollo’s TV show, the very time that Aphrodite has ordered her son Eros to shoot a love arrow at Apollo so that he will fall in love with the first mortal woman he sees, and a hate arrow into the one his eyes alight on. Eros is extremely unhappy about this, and when Apollo spots Alice in the audience he immediately falls irrevocably in love with her, as only the god of the sun could, Eros does not send the hate arrow. When the program is aired, Alice, who is the cleaner at the TV station and not allowed to be in the audience, is spotted and fired. Neil, who attended the show with Alice, convinces her to freelance as a cleaner and as luck or the gods would have it, she arrives at the door of their house, and Artemis hires her as their cleaner, the gods being slovenly for the most part much to Artemis’ disgust. And now, with all the players in place, the story really begins to unfold. This extremely dysfunctional family is hilarious with their antics, Apollo in particular with his oversized ego and undersized thought processes. This book is certainly a rare breed, vastly different from any other book I’ve read. The journey to the underworld is quite fascinating, and the interaction of the family, and the two mortals, is well-done. A fantasy of fun, life and death, and a wealth of imagination.
Date published: 2009-02-09
Rated 5 out of 5 by from Gods Behaving Hilariously! When I met Marie and talked to her about this book I was intrigued. I couldn't put it down. Her treatment of the "gods" living in modern day London is upbeat and funny. Their day-to-day challenges and meddling is quite reminiscent of Roman mythology -- but in a modern rollicking way!
Date published: 2009-02-02
Rated 3 out of 5 by from Funny Ending was a let down, but i sitll enjoyed the book. I mean, all the major Greek gods living in a London flat pretending to be mortal and sucking at it. Artemis is a dog walker, Aphrodite is a phone sex operator, Apollo's a tv psychic, and as for the other gods...well you'll need to find that out for yourself....enjoy!
Date published: 2008-12-30
Rated 4 out of 5 by from Original and amusing I quite enjoyed this first-novel from Marie Phillips. It was a unique approach to greek mythology and very entertaining. I do think that the reader with a better-than-basic memory of greek mythology would enjoy the book more, just because they'll pick up more on the little things. The ending was a tad sappy, but not dissatisfying. A very good book.
Date published: 2008-11-12

Read from the Book

OneOne morning, when Artemis was out walking the dogs, she saw a tree where no tree should be.The tree was standing alone in a sheltered part of the slope. To the untrained eye, the casual passer-by, it probably just looked like a normal tree. But Artemis’s eye was far from untrained, and she ran through this part of Hampstead Heath every day. This tree was a newcomer: it had not been there yesterday. And with just one glance Artemis recognised that it was an entirely new species, a type of eucalyptus that had also not existed yesterday. It was a tree that should not exist at all.Dragging the mutts behind her, Artemis made her way over to the tree. She touched its bark and felt it breathing. She pressed her ear against the trunk of the tree and listened to its heartbeat. Then she looked around. Good: it was early, and there was nobody within earshot. She reminded herself not to get angry with the tree, that it wasn’t the tree’s fault. Then she spoke.‘Hello,’ she said.There was a long silence.‘Hello,’ said Artemis again.‘Are you talking to me?’ said the tree. It had a faint Australian accent.‘Yes,’ said Artemis. ‘I am Artemis.’ If the tree experienced any recognition, it didn’t show it. ‘I’m the goddess of hunting and chastity,’ said Artemis.Another silence. Then the tree said, ‘I’m Kate. I work in mergers and acquisitions for Goldman Sachs.’‘Do you know what happened to you, Kate?’ said Artemis.The longest silence of all. Artemis was just about to repeat the question when the tree replied.‘I think I’ve turned into a tree,’ it said.‘Yes,’ said Artemis. ‘You have.’‘Thank God for that,’ said the tree. ‘I thought I was going mad.’ Then the tree seemed to reconsider this. ‘Actually,’ it said, ‘I think I would rather be mad.’ Then, with hope in its voice, ‘Are you sure I haven’t gone mad?’‘I’m sure,’ said Artemis. ‘You’re a tree. A eucalyptus. Subgenus of mallee. Variegated leaves.’‘Oh,’ said the tree.‘Sorry,’ said Artemis.‘But with variegated leaves?’‘Yes,’ said Artemis. ‘Green and yellow.’The tree seemed pleased. ‘Oh well, there’s that to be grateful for,’ it said.‘That’s the spirit,’ Artemis reassured it.‘So,’ said the tree in a more conversational tone. ‘You’re the goddess of hunting and chastity then?’‘Yes,’ said Artemis. ‘And of the moon, and several other things. Artemis.’ She put a little emphasis on her name. It still hurt when mortals didn’t know it.‘I didn’t know there was a goddess of hunting and chastity and the moon,’ confessed the tree. ‘I thought there was just the one God. Of everything. Or actually, to be honest, I thought there was no God at all. No offence.’‘None taken,’ said Artemis. Unbelievers were always preferable to heretics. ‘I have to say you don’t look much like a goddess, though,’ added the tree.‘And what does a goddess look like, exactly?’ said Artemis, a sharpness entering her voice.‘I don’t know,’ said the tree, a little nervously. ‘Shouldn’t you be wearing a toga or something? Or a laurel wreath?’‘You mean, not a tracksuit,’ said Artemis.‘Pretty much,’ admitted the tree.‘Times change,’ said Artemis. ‘Right now you don’t look like somebody who works in mergers and acquisitions for Goldman Sachs.’ Her voice indicated that the clothing conversation was closed.‘I still can’t get over the fact that you’re a goddess,’ said the tree after a pause. ‘Wow. Yesterday I wouldn’t have believed it. Today . . .’ The tree gave an almost imperceptible shrug, rustling its leaves. Then it seemed to think for a bit. ‘So does that mean, if you’re a goddess,’ it said, ‘that you can turn me back into a person?’Artemis had been expecting this question.‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘but I can’t.’‘Why not?’ said the tree.The tree sounded so despondent that Artemis couldn’t bring herself to reply, as planned, ‘Because I don’t want to.’ ‘A god can’t undo what another god has done,’ she found herself saying instead, much to her own surprise. She hated admitting any kind of weakness, especially to a mortal.‘You mean that guy was a god too? The one who . . . did this. Well, I suppose it’s obvious now. I kind of hoped he might be a hypnotist.’‘No, he was a god,’ said Artemis.‘Um,’ said the tree. ‘Could you do something about that red setter? I don’t really like the way it’s sniffing around me.’Artemis pulled the idiot dog away.‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘So what happened exactly?’‘I was just taking a walk yesterday and this guy came up to talk to me —’‘Tall?’ said Artemis. ‘Blond? Almost impossibly handsome?’‘That’s the one,’ said the tree.‘What did he say?’ said Artemis.The bark on the tree seemed to shift slightly, as if the tree was pulling a face.‘I, um . . .’‘What did he say?’ Artemis asked again, allowing a hint of command to enter her voice.‘He said, “Hello. Do you want to give me a blow job?”’A blow job. Why did people do these things to each other? Artemis felt faintly sick.‘I said no,’ continued the tree, ‘and then he said, “Are you sure, because you look like you’d be good at it and I think you’d really enjoy it.”’‘I’m very sorry,’ said Artemis, ‘about my brother. If it were up to me he would not be allowed outside unsupervised.’‘He’s your brother?’‘My twin. It’s . . . unfortunate.’‘Well, anyway, I just walked off, and he followed me, and I got a bit scared and I started running, and then the next thing I knew . . . Here I am.’Artemis shook her head. ‘This isn’t the first time something like this has happened,’ she said. ‘Rest assured we will be having words about it.’‘And then he’ll turn me back?’‘Absolutely,’ lied Artemis.‘No need to tell my family back home what happened, then,’ said the tree. ‘Good. Maybe I should call in sick at work though. I can’t really go in like this. I had my mobile with me; it should be around here somewhere. Could you dial my boss’s number and hold the phone to my trunk?’‘Mortals aren’t going to be able to understand you, I’m afraid,’ said Artemis. ‘Just gods. And other vegetation. I wouldn’t bother talking to the grass, though. It isn’t very bright.’‘Oh,’ said the tree. ‘OK.’ Artemis gave the tree time to absorb this information. ‘Why aren’t I more upset about this?’ it said eventually. ‘If you’d told me yesterday that I was going to be turned into a tree, I’m sure I’d have been really, really upset.’‘You’re a tree now, not a human mortal,’ explained Artemis. ‘You don’t really have emotions any more. I think you’ll be much happier this way. And you’ll live longer, unless it gets very windy.’‘Except your brother’s going to turn me back.’‘Of course he is,’ said Artemis. ‘Right then, I’d best be getting on. I’ve got to get these dogs back to . . . my friends.’‘It was nice meeting you,’ said the tree.‘Likewise,’ said Artemis. ‘Bye then. See you soon. Maybe.’The pleasant look on her face vaporised before her back was even fully turned. The dogs saw her expression and whimpered as one. But they had nothing to fear from Artemis. It was time to go home and find Apollo.TwoThere was a time, thought Apollo, thrusting rhythmically, when sneaking an illicit bathroom shag with Aphrodite would have been exciting. He scrutinised her as she leant away from him against the peeling back wall, one dainty foot up on the stained toilet cistern, her toenail-polish the only paint in here that was perfectly applied. She was exquisite. He couldn’t deny that. Simply the most beautiful sort-of woman ever to have sort-of lived, though Helen of the ship-launching face had given her a run for her money. Eyes (thrust), hair (thrust), mouth (thrust), skin (thrust), breasts (thrust), legs (thrust) — he could not fault an inch of her. Though this was hardly an achievement on her part. She was the goddess of beauty after all. But still, thought Apollo, sublime as she was, did she have to look so . . . well . . . bored? True, Apollo was so bored with Aphrodite that he could almost scream. His pride, however, demanded that she did not feel the same way.‘Right, I’m turning around,’ announced Aphrodite.‘OK,’ said Apollo. At least he wouldn’t have to look at that passively indifferent face any longer.Aphrodite detached herself from him and turned so that she was facing the wall. She arched her back, pointed the flawless ivory spheres of her buttocks at her nephew, and supported herself against the wall with her slender, elegant hands. Apollo reengaged himself and resumed thrusting. Looking down at the back of her head, her glossy black hair curling down over the alabaster slope of her shoulders, he could almost imagine that he was screwing Catherine Zeta Jones. He wondered whether he could persuade Aphrodite to speak to him in Welsh. Just for the novelty. Anything for some novelty.Apollo wanted out. Out of Aphrodite, out of this bathroom, out of this house, and out of this life. He was sick of London. The family had moved there in 1665, when the plague was keeping property prices rock bottom, and just before the destruction of the Great Fire sent them spiralling upwards again. This had been a typically canny piece of financial engineering by his sister Athena, the goddess of wisdom. At the time, though, he had foreseen that they would never actually be able to sell the house that they had bought so craftily, and he had tried to warn the rest of the family, but they hadn’t listened. It was true that he had been known to lie about his predictions just to get his own way, and everyone knew that he didn’t want to move to London in the first place, but even so, this time he had been right, and he’d known it from the start. It was putting the property in Zeus’s name: that had been the problem. But even he could not have foreseen what would happen to Zeus.‘I was thinking of redecorating my room,’ said Aphrodite, interrupting his thoughts.‘Again?’ said Apollo.‘I could do with a change,’ said Aphrodite. ‘I’m sure Heppy won’t mind.’Heppy was Hephaestus, god of smiths and Aphrodite’s husband, as hideous as she was beautiful. Treated with contempt by the rest of the family, he nevertheless did all the refurbishment and repairs in the house. As they had been living in the same place for over three hundred years, that was a lot of refurbishment and repairs. Even so, in Apollo’s opinion, he could have done with spending more time on things like patching up this damp, crumbling, leaking bathroom, which would be in the interests of the entire household, and less on adding further unnecessary levels of luxury to their bedroom every time Aphrodite had one of her increasingly frequent whims.‘So what are you going to do this time?’ he asked her. ‘More gold leaf? Hang some diamonds off the chandelier? Get rid of the roses at last?’Aphrodite looked sharply at him over her shoulder. Even her glare was calculated to be sexy.‘There’s nothing wrong with roses,’ she snapped. ‘No, I just thought I would change them from red to pink again.’ She turned back to the wall, picked up a passing cockroach and crushed it between her thumb and forefinger. ‘Do that more slowly,’ she said.Apollo obediently changed pace. He thought of thousands and thousands of years of living with Aphrodite, thousands gone, and thousands yet to come — and that was the best-case scenario. And she never changed. Never, ever. But sex with Aphrodite was better than no sex at all. And none of the other gods would sleep with him. If only he could get a decent mortal lover, someone like one of his old lovers in Greece or Rome, who worshipped him and everything that he did . . . but he refused to let his thoughts stray in that direction. It was too depressing. Things had all been so much easier in the years that they were now obliged to refer to as BC.There was a knock at the door, a distinctive grumbling thumping like the falling of distant bombs. It could only be Ares, god of war: Apollo’s half-brother, roommate, and, gallingly, Aphrodite’s favourite lover. Apollo paused mid-thrust.‘Can you get a move on in there?’ came Ares’ voice. ‘I’ve got a Start the War demo this morning, and I need a shave.’‘Bugger off,’ shouted Apollo, resuming his activity. ‘I got here first, you’ll just have to wait.’‘Oh, let him in,’ drawled Aphrodite from beneath him. ‘He can join us. It’ll be fun.’‘Didn’t you hear him?’ said Apollo. ‘He’s going out. He doesn’t have time for you.’‘Everybody has time for me,’ said Aphrodite.This was almost certainly true. But Apollo felt no need to be sexually outclassed by his brother.‘This bathroom is first come, first served,’ said Apollo primly. ‘If Ares doesn’t like it he can get Hephaestus to build another one. It would be about bloody time that he did. And your frigging new wallpaper can just wait.’‘OK, I’m done now.’ Aphrodite orgasmed quickly and tidily, and removed herself from Apollo.‘I hadn’t finished!’ protested Apollo.‘Well, you should have been nicer to me then.’Aphrodite stepped over to the cracked enamel bath and switched the shower attachment on, as Apollo watched his tumescence disappear. He limped over to the sink and splashed cold water onto his genitals. Aphrodite had no respect for him. Glancing at himself in the mouldy mirror above the basin, he wondered whether she might think more of him if he had a tattoo.‘I don’t believe it,’ said Aphrodite.‘I was just thinking about it,’ said Apollo. ‘I wasn’t actually going to . . .’Aphrodite spoke over him. ‘There’s no hot water. Again!’She marched over to the door and opened it, sticking her head out into the cold, empty stairwell. ‘Who used up all the hot water?’ she yelled. There was no reply. She pulled her head back in and slammed the door.‘I hate this family,’ she said.‘The feeling is mutual,’ said Apollo.From the Hardcover edition.

Bookclub Guide

1. All the gods have modern jobs or hobbies. Are the choices right for the characters? Would you have chosen other jobs? (See the list of the main characters below as a helpful reminder)Aphrodite - God of Beauty - Telephone Sex OperatorApollo - God of the Sun - TV Psychic – Apollo’s OracleAres - God of War - Pro-war campaignerArtemis - God of the Moon, Chastity and Hunting - Dog WalkerAthena - God of Wisdom - AcademicDionysus - God of Wine - DJ and owner of a club Eros - God of Love - A born again ChristianHermes - God of Money, Consequence and general messenger - Courier Which character has the most convincing modern personality?2. The book opens with two sexual scenes. How does sex affect the characters lives? Does Apollo know the difference between lust and love? Does Artemis’s prudishness mean that she understands the world more clearly as desire doesn’t cloud her judgment?3. ‘In all of the angry fantasies [Neil] had had about Apollo, in all of the jealous hours that he had spent imagining Apollo and Alice in congress, and feeling inadequate as he compared his unimpressive form with Apollo’s glorious beauty, it had never once occurred to him that Apollo might be stupid.’ (p.195)The characters in Gods Behaving Badly are either beautiful or brainy. Do you think this is an accurate description of the book? How important is each quality to the story?4. Gods Behaving Badly is a very funny novel. What was your favourite comic moment? How well does the comedy work within the book?5. Styx notes that Neil is ‘most unlike any hero who has visited me before.’ (p.224) How does the novel change your idea of what a hero is?6. ‘Why do you want the girl so much?’ said Hades.‘Do you know how hard it is to get a decent cleaner in central London?’ said Artemis. (p.252)Cleanliness and dirt are a reoccurring theme in the novel. When the gods are at their weakest their house is filthy, and when Neil grieves for Alice he lets his flat deteriorate. Is dirt a way of hiding from feelings (e.g. grief) and also from the truth of dire situations?7. a) ‘It’s not their fault,’ said Neil. ‘Nobody believes in them up there. Of course they’re not powerful any more.’ (p.251) Why don’t the gods realize this until Neil says it? b) The gods act no better than the C-list celebrities who are worshipped by gossip magazines. Why do we happily follow the lives of celebrities rather than believe in the ancient gods?c) How important is belief in the novel for: the Gods; for Neil, Alice and all the mortals in the book; and for you as a reader?8. The book can be seen as mortals versus immortals. Do you think it is better to have infinite time but be doomed to repeat your mistakes? Or have finite time but possibly not make the most it?9. Is Upper Street the perfect location for the entrance to the Underworld? Do you think the Greek gods would really have ended up living in London?10. How does Marie’s description of the afterlife/Underworld differ from your ideas of death?